Umm... Y'know Stan (verifiable user) says they are an Merkin? Living in China?
ghostarchive.org
This bit...
View attachment 53706
You can't get passata? Gee, an actual Wop, given the circumstances, would just use TOMATO KETCHUP, pretty sure you can get that, even in the mysterious Orient. Seem to be able to get all the other herbs (oregano, basil) and Garlic is a stable the world over. Stan has enough room to make dough, but not to chop some onions (basic of most savory dishes), fry with garlic and then add passata? What, you too poor to get a hob? C'mon, you going to stick asparagus, on pizza, without sweating it off first.
Secondly, and this is a biggie, for someone who is supposedly published by the New Yorker, that's some cut and paste shit from Recipes FOr Dumbos dot online.
Pssssshhhh. Can't make their own pasta sauce...