Here's something I wrote a while back about Null's sadism (I don't mean sexual sadism, I mean his sadistic personality):
Null is a self-admitted sadist who is always repressing yet always looking for an outlet for his sadism - hence why he's always fighting Kiwis on the forum, even picking up fights with entire threads. He literally said it in the Blockland posts, "I am a cruel and unusual person" - when someone tells you who they are, you should listen because they know themselves better than you do. Null's problem is that he doesn't have a healthy outlet for his pent up sadism. Sadism is about dominance and control, and Null hasn't found a healthy way to be dominant and in control. He also doesn't understand that to be in control of others, you have to be control of yourself first. The reason why he's far right is because in the far right it's OK to be sadistic towards one specific group of people, so Null thinks that this is an acceptable way to a sadist, to limit your sadism to whatever group the far right has decided should be on the receiving end of their sadism. Null doesn't think that sadism is wrong per se (though I do think he does feel a lot of shame for being sadistic, hence why he seeks power in numbers with other repressed sadists). Null thinks that society is wrong for not allowing him to express his sadism through what he considers to be acceptable outlets, like racism. Null considers racism a relatively harmless form of sadism that shouldn't be repressed but allowed.
Like I said, I'm not into people who try to get Null on the fact that he was a teenage porn addict, because the situation is immensely worse with zoomers. What Null did is horrible but still relatively tame to what's happening to Gen Z getting groomed online as tweens, before they're even teenagers. Zoomers report that they discovered hardcore porn online at 10-11 years of age. Some of them developed porn addictions by the time they were 13. A lot of kids are growing up with a warped sexuality that are even more sadistic than Null's. The problem was always parents refusing to parent and allowing their kids to have early access to online porn, not Null. He said that he craves unconditional love even and despite being cruel and sadistic but he knows that's not how the world works. Someone sadistic and cruel is only attractive to a very specific kind of person, and since Null is in contempt of that person, he's either gonna have to repress or stop being contemptuous of the kind of person who is attracted to sadism and cruelty.