Alright, I've officially escaped the carnival. Planned to last week but it saved me 4 hours of hitch hiking to stick around until yesterday.
It was genuinely one of the most miserable experiences I've endured. For starters, the bunkhouse I was staying in was smaller than any jail cell I've been in, not to mention the pervasive smell of mold which gave me a gnarly cough since the day I joined up.
My boss was cool enough, kept us supplied with booze and weed. His wife was genuinely one of the most miserable women I've ever been around though. She instantly drains the joy out of any room she walks in, gave zero fucks about anything but her own money and dramatically bitched about every fucking thing. I'd say I don't know why boss man sticks with her but considering everything is actually hers and he's the male equivalent of a gold digger, I suppose it checks out
One of my coworkers was cool as hell and I won't describe him further. But the other 3 guys sucked.
There was Bacon, a big oaf who seemed seconds away from asking you to tell him about the rabbits, George. Dude was one of the filthiest fucks I've ever had to be around, and I've been homies with piss bums.
Jimmy, a Southern wigger who lost all his teeth to meth before 30. He was alright, smoked me out all the time and made me laugh but he was a total roach.
And then the old school of the crew, David. He's a bloated/bitter ex-con with a totally unwarranted sense of self importance. He was plastered one night and told me I complain too much, despite the fact I would have never had a negative word to say if we were being paid anything close to a livable wage.
Which is still my biggest complaint. I worked 50-60 hours weeks and walked away with at most $180. Unironically, I make significantly more money just donating plasma, and that only takes 8 hours per month. Fuck, a teenager at Taco Bell makes more money.
Fuck carnivals. Shit's built on slave labor and you'd be better served taking your kids literally anywhere else.
Oh, I was running the fish game. You know, what where you have to toss ping pong balls into the little fish bowls and you win a pet goldfish?
That part was actually fun. The way the bosses wanted it ran was scumbag bullshit, so I disregarded them and ran it how I wanted. For $20 a pop, I was expected to give kids 12 ping pong balls and if they didn't get one in they didn't get shit.
I said fuck that and told their parents for an extra $5 I'd give them a bucket with like 60 balls in it and make sure they walked away with a fish. I called the company who supplies their fish tanks and they only cost $3.75 ($15 if you bought from me), so that $5 fish insurance covered all the overhead and made sure people weren't pissed off that their kids were robbed.
The carnival isn't a place for anyone with a sense of morality or an understanding of their own earning potential. That is unless you want to be a boss and mercilessly exploit the ever loving fuck out of everyone around you.
Anyway, I dipped out early yesterday morning. Packed my shit in my freshly stolen hobo backpack and sauntered off. It took me damn near 4 hours to catch a hitch but the guy who scooped me ended up taking me all the way to the city I was aiming for and kicked me down $300 when we said goodbye, along with the contact info for a door-to-door sales job, which I might hit up since it's another bizarre job I've wanted to try.
But since he was incredibly generous, I've purchased a gym membership+storage unit+two month bus passes. I've decided against utilizing the shelter here since my need for a place to leave things and a place to shower has been fulfilled. I guess you could call it sleeping rough but the weather is amazing and I can crash practically anywhere since I wake up at 5AM when hoboin'.
Waiting for my storage to open so I can go move in, then I'm going to hit up Goodwill for new shoes and a day pack, then maybe go get stoned and visit the zoo. I want to smugly mock the wildlife
