The Suppository of all Copypasta

[Crimson Fucker]

TIFU by ripping my foreskin apart with a ceiling fan​

Mandatory not today but 20 years ago.
I am 16 and horny. We didnt yet have the internet and this was still the days of searching nearby woods for scattered magazines held together by many long rains. It was also the days of waiting for your mom to go to the grocery store and using your free time to try to find literally anything new in the house to have sex with. This was one of those days.
My mom left for the grocery store and I had an idea: duct tape a toilet paper roll filled with wet toilet paper to my penis. Make sure it's really tight. Then, create a rope from duct tape and wrap it around the blade of the ceiling fan. Sit on one side of the ceiling fan and as the blades spin, it will pull and release the tube. Brilliant.
All starts well as I sit on a desk chair below the fan. A bit slow, but working so I turn it up. I start to notice that since there is no swivel, the duct tape is twisting and shortening. Its pulling violently on my pubes and skin. I cant get the fucking thing off. Fuck. I stand up to buy myself time. Shut off the fan: pull the string and wait. Oh fuck - still going. I'm on my tippy toes and my pubes are ripping. I pull the string and the fan begins to slow, but it's still twisting. I slam my hand into the fan to stop it. The fan breaks out of the ceiling, but I'm free.
As I unpackage my pleasure tube, I find I'd ripped a fist full of pubes out. My foreskin was twisted like an Indian sunburn, checkered with blood and tears and the head of my penis is a ghostly grey.
It took 24 hours for the penis head to turn from mayonnaise to plum. My penis basically moulted over the next 3 weeks growing a new layer of penis over the old penis. I still have a long white scar down the shaft that has no feeling.
Good times.
Tl;dr: duct taped my penis to a ceiling fan and ripped my pubes and foreskin apart.
Edit: changed some words.
Edit: I want to be clear how this was supposed to work. I am sitting off center of the fan on a chair with my penis taped to the edge of one fan blade. The tape is slack. As the blade moves away, the take becomes taught and rips my dick right off.

 

[Crimson Fucker]

The hot wind blowing (from my ass)​

Poo stain lines across my pants
The mumbling lolcows
In our minds are all that stand

Just like the buffalo cube
Blindly following the herd
We try to justify
All the things that have occurred

I know what I’ve been told
But the wishes of the people can’t be controlled
I know what I’ve been told
But the wishes of the people can’t be controlled

Heat of my ass cheeks
Fart cloud settles on my face
Without an air spray
The pony soldier knows no disgrace

Burning to ashes
The kiwi loses still
Freedom is calling
To all men who bend their will

Here I am
Dirty and faceless
Waiting to heed your instruction

On my own
Invisible keyboard warrior
I am the storm that is approaching a wind of destruction

All men who bend their will

We fight for just ice
In a forgotten place
Pants filled with duty
Then vanish without a trace

Don’t need a badge
For all the men we troll
Freedom is calling
To all men who bend their will

Wind of destruction (coming from my ass)

 

[VAIDS Victim]

I see you guys arguing about trannies and their history. I think you're all forgetting how we got here.

In the land before time, all people of every kind existed, but we didn't have neat categories to stuff them into. We didn't know about things like schitzophrenia, drug addiction, Down syndrome, etc. We only knew of yes-yeses like Jews, no-nos like heretical behavior (thing Jesus was nailed to a cross for), and obvious things like homosexuality and bestiality. Nobody knew what a tranny was back then, not even trannies.

In modern times, but before the current tranny cult craze, trannies were simply people with a mental condition called gender dysphoria, the treatments to which were carefully gatekept. If a person with gender dysporhia didn't stand a realistic chance at passing, they were strongly discouraged from trooning out, because such a treatment wouldn't be very effective. It would create more problems than it solved. Numbers of affected individuals were fairly small. You could go your whole life and potentially not meet a tranny, and if you did, you might not realize they were biologically the other gender. And most of them weren't going to tell you, because that kinda defeats the purpose of passing. I think most reasonable people could live with this version of tranny.

Meanwhile the ever growing membership of the alphabet people (all of the random letters after LGB) started making their own rules, completely outside of academic or medical oversight. First it was the queers, then the non-binary people, the third gender people, the agenders, shit like that. Then came the self-diagnosed gender dysphoria people, most of whom don't actually suffer from the condition. People not otherwise involved started taking notice. The pedophile saw trannydom as a vehicle to access kids in a somewhat more plausable, or at least more secretive, way. The narcissist saw how much attention, and more specifically affirmation, trannies were getting. The trenders that infect literally every club, fandom, following, and movement saw the next big thing they could claim to be a part of. The investors saw a chance to make big money selling medically unnessacary estrogen and vaginoplasties, among other things. Soon an unstoppable hype train was roaring out of the station, with the shekelgrubbing Israeli ratkike engineer (I think his name is Casey? Strange name for a Jew) doing lines of coke off the control stand as he slammed the throttle into notch 8. In an unfortunate turn of events, the train miraculously did not derail on the first corner. It's sorta like how that guy from The Apprentice became President. Actually, maybe they took inspiration from his historic win.

So many people joined the circus-on-rails. Much bullshit polluted reality. Trannies think they're better than women. "Men" give birth. Real women are referred to as "birthing people". Middle-class retards forcibly troon out their kids because it's trendy. Gross, mentally ill freaks get free money from the Internet through ebegging and grifting. Doctors, school personnel, and especially troons all try to railroad vulnerable people into victimhood. The doctors themselves are actually being railroaded into pushing this bullshit. They invented the concept of misgendering because it's impossible to tell what gender most of theese freaks are presenting as just by looking at them or their name, because obviously you're just supposed to know what their (often totally made up) pronouns are. So many people are afraid to say anything even slightly critical of the tranny menace. After all, you will 100% affirm, or else you are Hitler. What a drastic departure from the old days, when trannies begged for the chance to fit in with normal people and were happy to simply exist in peace.

The hype circus train has turned into a full on cult. A circus cult chock full of depraved freakshows like Luke Roberts and (in my personal Jewish opinion) closeted individuals like Joshua Conner Moon. Public opinion is now highly polarized and misinformation dominates, again much like the situation with our last President. Most people don't give a fuck about trannies other than to use the cause as a reason to virtue signal (for or against, doesn't matter) or to have something to argue about. Journoscum use them to write bullshit articles. Everybody with a platform is lying and grifting and calling the other side evil. Even the supposed last bastion of True and Honest truth and freeze peach, Kiwi Farms, has skeletons in it's closet (byuu DID kill himself, the troon broom knew this for a year and still pushed the false narrative). Troons themselves lie about their past, insisting that they never existed as their pre-troon self, and often lie about many of their past accomplishments or lack thereof, even when evidence to the contrary is freely available (social media, YouTube, etc).

99% of current-day trannies don't have gender dysphoria. In fact, they invented a word, truscum, to describe members of the old guard who insist, correctly, that one must suffer from bonafide gender dysphoria to be a tranny. They'll happily call you truscum or Hitler, but they do get really butthurt when you call them names. See what happens when you call Null a faggot, for example.

This all happened primarily because the OG trannies and the other LGBTs failed to gatekeep. Thankfully, the tranny train is running out of steam (diesel? rainbow farts?) though. Unfortunatey, I strongly suspect it will be replaced by something much worse: the pedophile rights movement.


Don't know about you, but I'd personally rather be Hitler than affirm the delusions of a mentally ill freak.

If you ever get tired of eating a traditional turkey dinner during Thanksgiving or boring old ham during Easter,or guinea fowl during Kwanzaa, maybe you should consider the other other white meat. It has been a long-standing tradition throughout the centuries to chow down on the slow simmered remains of our fallen enemies, but this culinary art form received little recognition in western culture. Like the tomato, which was once thought to be poisonous, human flesh is actually a very healthy alternative to the hormone-injected meat you find at your local supermarket, and eating a person is not a soul crushing sin like some conservative religions want you to believe. The fact is that human flesh is both flavorful and full of the essential nutrition our bodies need.

This article is not to be confused with instructions on how to Cook FOR Human, how to Cook ForTY HumanS, or how to Cook FOR Forty Humans. While slowly rubbing off the dust from a book only to find different titles for the same book is comical, it will not help you with your ultimate goal of preparing the best Human possible in the 60 minutes allotted during a standard iron chef competition.

Like a cantaloupe melon, picking the right person to eat can be a challenge unless you know what you are doing. Here are a few helpful hints in selecting the right one to eat.

Fatty cooking book If you choose a fat prey, this book might help

Age – Just like other game meat, humans get tough and stringy with age. Anyone 3 - 16 years old taste great, their well shaped legs are great for tender, succulent meals. Girls do taste better than boys. Size – Like a good marbled beef, you want your human to have a bit of fat on them and to be of a large weight and size. While a very thin woman may be found attractive, the fact is that what little meat they have is stringy and tough. Very heavy humans tend to be more tender and juicy, so they should be fattened if you desire extra flavor. The meat found on bodybuilders and strongmen are tough ans flavorless due to the lack of fat. The perfect cut of human flesh comes from the average Australian couch potato Due to that fact that with any other meat, flavor come from the fat. However, be careful that you do not become an Australian yourself from too much fat intake. Sex – As in monkey sex, sex doesn't really matter. Although, females do tend to taste better, and males tend to have more muscle (that means more ballfat) on them. Nationality – Actual race and color have very little to do with the taste of humans. All races are pink and fleshy underneath the skin. Some believe that brown skinned people contain more omega-3 and calcium, but that is just a myth (however you are welcome to test this for yourself). However one thing that does make a difference is diet. Humans who are strictly vegetarian tend to taste a bit more beefy than those that primarily eat meat. Other considerations are salt and spice intake. Italians, for example, tend to have a mild, natural garlic taste while people from India tend to be a bit on the spicy side. Also another tip is to cook the anus with salt and garlic at 450 degrees (rare to well done is up to you). The healthiest part of the human body is the lymph nodes and also, the urethra. But if undercooked they will taste sour and tangy. If you follow these instructions then you will have a wonderful healthy** meal.
**Healthy is only a word. Remember the old words of wisdom "what you eat is what you are." Over consumption of Germans has been known to lead to antisemitic ideals, Swedish meat may lead to creating windmills and wooden shoes. The greatest thing to be warned about is the meat of the overweight Australian, which has a peculiar flavor due to the native diet of croc meat, koala, kangaroo, and the occasional bush snake, and tends to raise one's cholesterol due to high lard content.

Industrial Farming –Some proponents of 'human rights' have criticized the cramped and inhospitable living conditions used for the industrial production of humans for food and other industrial purposes. Humans should be given a minimum of 100 square feet, or about 30 square meters per person per household. Less than this and the humans may begin to 'peck each others eyes out', which can increase the risk of disease. Also, you should not allow your humans to amass too much garbage or cheap plastic crap as this can diminish the effective living area inside of their cages.

Where To Get Your Human Fortunately, humans are very abundant and the value of a human life has never been lower! Humans have become so common that it is hard to walk down the street without running into many, many potential meals. Schools, Colleges, stores, and more allow humans to be a more easy form of food to catch. First, a good place to hide is near a street, perhaps in a bush, or in a tree. Once one is spotted, grab him or her and drag or carry the meal to your car. Once inside, you should strip them until they are down to their underpants. Then tie them up with heavy ropes so they can't move. Once home, untie them and then take off their underpants so now they're fully naked. If you are feeling a little frisky, it's alright to "play" with your food. You're going to eat it anyway, so why not have a little fun? Now you can put the child in the oven for 1 hour or eat it raw. If you are feeling audacious, you can even eat it alive. Just pick a spot on their body and bite (tying your meal down is recommended, however). If you want it to taste better give it a bath. If you are planning to eat the child raw or alive, you have to bath it so you won't get sick and make the water very hot. Also, be sure to shave all the pubic hair off. When you are done bathing it you have to dry all the body parts. Before you start eating get another child and make a child sandwich: it is done by getting two people lay on top of each other naked and put what ever you want on them and then eating both of them at the same time. For your sandwich you should get a boy and a girl and make sure they are around or the same age because it will taste great!

It should be noted, however, that the hunting of this animal is still considered illegal in several states and in the more conservative areas of Europe. Asia and Africa, by contrast, are so over populated with unwanted humans that the local governments have started campaigns to rid themselves of the extra people. In China, breeding more than one human offspring is a federal offense and in the middle east they have taken to blowing up as many humans as they can just to lower the population. In the United States, however with the explosion of the population, President Obama would freely give you a human to devour to "stabilize the population".

Human hunting can be very exciting. Humans don't want to just become dinner, so they will use their natural instincts to try to avoid being captured. Many people will attempt a counter attack, thus making the hunter the hunted. If you are not a big game hunter and don't care for the edge-of-your-seat thrill of bringing down your own kill, don't worry, the average drug addicted bum will gladly off someone for you for a small fee or a few grams of their favorite medication. Or use some heavy sedatives. Pricks and bullies are also good sources of human flesh, but the end product is usually so battered that it is only good for ground meat or stew cuts. Finally, with the lax morals of today's youth and the right to cheap abortions, there is always a large supply of fresh human fetus to go around; check around back of your local chapter of Planned Parenthood as they always have a fresh supply. Also prostitutes and young high school drop outs taste spicy. Their attitude has something to do with it but their bodies also end up aiding in their consumption. It is estimated that by the year 2018, all young drop outs and prostitutes will have been or are being eaten.

Or you may go to a dark DARK forest, hide in the bushes with some rope, sedative, scissors, and don't forget a gurney and wait for a 13 year old to come along and then jump out, tackling them. When you do, sedate them and then tie them up with the ropes, then you must use the scissors you must remove all clothing except for the underwear and you can't pull them off if the child is tied up, can you? After that you roll them onto the gurney and wheel them as fast as you can while still being inconspicuous to the large white van waiting outside of the forest. Put the gurney in the back and drive off to the preparation.

If you are planning on picking out a very strong human to eat, then projectile weapons are favoured. Any of the "extremities" are good places to aim your projectiles. The head is the favoured place, as a human can be slaughtered with one attack this way. If you do follow this advice and end up taking down a wrestler, you are in for an absolute feast. As for where to find strong, muscular humans, try waiting outside a sports facility. Humans playing there will be more muscular than average and therefore have better tasting meat. They will also be less likely than average to go on in life to do something important, like figure out the meaning of life or find a cure for cancer, so you can sink your teeth into a jock steak without fear of disrupting an important event.

MIT hunting can be even more exciting. MIT's can be hunted and are an easier alternative to "fully working" human hunting. This is due to the inability of the MIT to produce sugar and they therefore they have to stop for injections every 20 mins. The easiest way to track a MIT is by the trail of destruction and fail that is left behind by one. Please be aware that a MIT's only defense is to WEEE itself and hope that the hunter feels pity and carries on past them.A last option is to find a feedee, they're willing participants, to let's say, be filled out a bit more. Once they reach that magical number (around 200+ pounds for most women, although you can fatten them further) just drug away and you've got a ready meal without having to partake in kidnapping, no hassle, no fuss, just delicately prepared and rounded feast! How can you tell if she is fat enough? Her clothes should not fit: Her breasts should be pushing out of her bra, and you might get a look at her nipples. Her belly should force her shirt up past her belly button. Her belly button should be several inches deep. Her thighs should be forcing each other apart, and her pants should have ripped long ago, leaving only underwear her butt has forced into a thong. Her vajayjay should be nice and plump also. If you have any doubts about her fatness, you should squeeze her and find out where she is the biggest. All parts of her body should be easily accessible, so lay her out in an open space or on her back.

Preparation Once you have selected your human it is time to prepare it for cooking. Unfortunately, most modern stores still do not carry human, so it will be up to you to butcher and clean the carcass. For those of us who are unfamiliar with butchering their own meat we may want to consider paying the local butcher shop to do it for you. If you are up to doing the job yourself, there are many great reference books, such as Grey's Anatomy, to help you along. For a first timer, it is usually best to catch yourself a fat human, this way you can practice the various carving techniques on their many rolls of fat. You get more practice and a bigger meal- that way!! While some organ meat is quite good, most human organs are just too foul to be safely eaten. Brain is the most popular organ meat followed closely by kidneys. Avoid eating the liver at all costs, as humans tend to abuse their livers and thus they are full of lethal toxins.

Like other large animals, the average human will yield quite a lot of meat of various qualities and types. Typical cuts are bicep steaks, rump roasts and thigh hams. Ribs are very popular for the bar-b-q and fingers are great when tossed in a nice buffalo wing coating and baked. Toes can also be a delicious treat, less healthy but much sweeter than fingers. Females may be a less likely dish to take when it comes to toes due to the toxic paint they place upon them, however if you see one in flip flops without this paint, feel obliged to devour them.

If you're looking for some delicious hams, look no further than your local school . Girls at the ages of 10-15 and boys at the ages of 10 -12 have perfectly sized thighs that make excellent meals. Simply add spices and sugar and voila. Calves also make good drumsticks. Breaded, fried, oiled, buttered and plane taste phenomenal. Males tend to have tough calves that may be chewy, especially to me. However, for softer sweeter and sometimes juicier meat, look for girls. Athletes tend to have more leg meat thus more food. Soccer players, cheerleaders, gymnasts, runners, etc. all have perfect leg meat.

This is a step-by-step guide on how to break down the human body from the full figure into serviceable choice cuts of meat. As in any field, there are a number of methods to the practice, and you may wish to view this as a set of suggestions rather than concrete rules. You will notice that the carving of the larger or "commercial" cuts down into smaller specific or "retail" cuts will be only mentioned in passing, and not concentrated upon. Also, the use of human fat and viscera is generally avoided, and left only to the most experimental chef. These choices, along with recipes and serving suggestions, are nearly infinite in variety, and we leave them to you. We've found these guidelines to be simple and functional, but recognize that there is always room for improvement and we welcome your suggestions.

Before getting to the main task, it must be mentioned that the complete rendering of the human carcass requires a fairly large amount of time, effort, and space. If the consumer does not wish to go through the ordeal of processing and storing the bulk of the entire animal, an easy alternative is as follows. Simply saw through one or both legs at the points directly below the groin and a few inches above the knee. Once skinned, these portions may then be cut into round steaks of the carver's preferred thickness, cut into fillets, deboned for a roast, etc. Meat for several meals is thus readily obtained without the need for gutting and the complexities of preparing the entire form.

The human being (also referred to throughout culinary history as "long pig" and "hairless goat" in the case of younger specimens) is not generally thought of as a staple food source. Observing the anatomy and skeleton, one can see that the animal is neither built nor bred for its meat, and as such will not provide nearly as much flesh as a pig or cow (for example, an average 1000 pound steer breaks down to provide 432 pounds of saleable beef). The large central pelvis and broad shoulder blades also interfere with achieving perfect cuts. There are advantages to this however, especially due to the fact that the typical specimen will weigh between 100-200 pounds, easily manipulated by one person with sufficient leverage.

Here the caution in choosing your meal must be mentioned. It is VERY IMPORTANT to remember that animals raised for slaughter are kept in tightly controlled environments with their health and diet carefully maintained. Humans are not. Thus not only is the meat of each person of varying quality, but people are also subject to an enormous range of diseases, infections, chemical imbalances, and poisonous bad habits, all typically increasing with age. Also as an animal ages, the meat loses its tenderness, becoming tough and stringy. No farm animal is ever allowed to age for thirty years. Six to thirteen months old is a more common slaughtering point. You will obviously want a youthful but mature physically fit human in apparently good health. A certain amount of fat is desirable as "marbling" to add a juicy, flavorful quality to the meat. We personally prefer firm Caucasian females in their early twenties. These are "ripe". But tastes vary, and it is a very large herd.

The butcher will need a fairly roomy space in which to work (an interior location is suggested), and a large table for a butcher's block. A central overhead support will need to be chosen or installed ahead of time to hang the carcass from. Large tubs or barrels for blood and waste trimmings should be convenient, and a water source close by. Most of the work can be done with a few simple tools: sharp, clean short and long bladed knives, a cleaver or hatchet, and a hacksaw.

Body Preparation: Acquiring your subject is up to you. For best results and health, freshness is imperative. A living human in captivity is optimal, but not always available. When possible make sure the animal has no food for 48 hours, but plenty of water. This fasting helps flush the system, purging stored toxins and bodily wastes, as well as making bleeding and cleaning easier. Under ideal conditions, the specimen will then be stunned into insensitivity. Sharp unexpected blows to the head are best, tranquilizers not being recommended as they may taint the flavor of the meat. If this is not possible without exciting the animal and causing a struggle (which will pump a greater volume of blood and secretions such as adrenaline throughout the body), a single bullet through the middle of the forehead or back of the skull will suffice.

Hanging: Once the animal is unconscious or dead, it is ready to be hoisted. Get the feet up first, then the hands, with the head down. This is called the "Gein configuration". Simple loops of rope may be tied around the hands and feet and then attached to a crossbar or overhead beam. Or, by making a cut behind the Achilles tendon, a meat-hook may be inserted into each ankle for hanging support. The legs should be spread so that the feet are outside the shoulders, with the arms roughly parallel to the legs. This provides access to the pelvis, and keeps the arms out of the way in a ready position for removal. It's easiest to work if the feet are slightly above the level of the butcher's head.

Bleeding: Place a large open vessel beneath the animal's head. With a long-bladed knife, start at one corner of the jaw and make a deep "ear-to-ear" cut through the neck and larynx to the opposite side. This will sever the internal and external carotid arteries, the major blood vessels carrying blood from the heart to the head, face, and brain. If the animal is not yet dead, this will kill it quickly, and allow for the blood to drain in any case. After the initial rush of blood, the stream should be controllable and can be directed into a receptacle. Drainage can be assisted by massaging the extremities down in the direction of the trunk, and by compressing and releasing, "pumping", the stomach. A mature specimen will contain almost six liters of blood. There is no use for this fluid, unless some source is waiting to use it immediately for ritual purposes. It acts as an emetic in most people if drunk, and it must be mentioned here that because of the eternal possibility of AIDS it is recommended that for safety's sake all blood should be considered to be contaminated and disposed of in some fashion. It is not known whether an HlV-infected human's flesh is dangerous even if cooked, but this is another item to consider when choosing a specimen, someone in the low-risk strata.

Beheading: When the bleeding slows, preparation for decapitation can be started. Continue the cut to the throat around the entire neck, from the jawline to the back of the skull. Once muscle and ligament have been sliced away, the head can be cleanly removed by gripping it on either side and twisting it off, separation occurring where the spinal cord meets the skull. This is indicative of the method to be used for dividing other bones or joints, in that the meat should generally be cut through first with a knife, and the exposed bone then separated with a saw or cleaver. The merits of keeping the skull as a trophy are debatable for two principal reasons. First, a human skull may call suspicious attention to the new owner. Secondly, thorough cleaning is difficult due to the large brain mass, which is hard to remove without opening the skull. The brain is not good to eat. Removing the tongue and eyes, skinning the head, and placing it outside in a wire cage may be effective. The cage allows small scavengers such as ants and maggots to cleanse the flesh from the bones, while preventing it being carried off by larger scavengers, such as dogs and children. After a sufficient period of time, you may retrieve the skull and boil it in a dilute bleach solution to sterilize it and wash away any remaining tissue.

Skinning: After removing the head, wash the rest of the body down. Because there is no major market for human hides, particular care in removing the skin in a single piece is not necessary, and makes the task much easier. The skin is in fact a large organ, and by flaying the carcass you not only expose the muscular configuration, but also get rid of the hair and the tiny distasteful glands which produce sweat and oil. A short-bladed knife should be used to avoid slicing into muscle and viscera. The skin is composed of two layers, an outer thinner one with a thicker tissue layer below it. When skinning, first score the surface, cutting lightly to be sure of depth and direction. The diagram of the skinning pattern is an example of strip-style skinning, dividing the surface into portions easy to handle. Reflect the skin by lifting up and peeling back with one hand, while bringing the knife in as flat to the skin as possible to cut away connective tissue. The external genitals present only a small obstacle. In the male the penis and scrotum can be pulled away from the body and severed, in the female the outer lips skinned as the rest of the body. It is important to leave the anus untouched at this point, and a circle of skin should be left around it. You need not bother skinning the hands and feet, these portions not being worth the effort unless you plan to pickle them or use them in soup. The skin can be disposed of, or made into fried rinds. Boil the strips and peel away the outer layer, then cut into smaller pieces and deep-fat fry in boiling oil until puffy and crisp. Dust with garlic salt, paprika and cayenne pepper.Gutting: The next major step is complete evisceration of the carcass. To begin, make a cut from the solar plexus, the point between the breastbone and stomach, almost to the anus. Be very careful not to cut into the intestines, as this will contaminate the surrounding area with bacteria and possibly feces (if this does happen, cleanse thoroughly). A good way to avoid this is to use the knife inside the abdominal wall, blade facing toward you, and making cautious progress.

Make a cut around the anus, or "bung", and tie it off with twine. This also prevents contamination, keeping the body from voiding any material left in the bowel. With a saw, cut through the pubic bone, or "aitch". The lower body is now completely open, and you can begin to pull the organ masses (large and small intestines, kidneys, liver, stomach) out and cut them away from the back wall of the body.

For the upper torso, first cut through the diaphragm around the inner surface of the carcass. This is the muscular membrane which divides the upper, or thoracic, and the lower abdominal cavities. Remove the breastbone, cutting down to the point on each side where it connects to the ribs, and then sawing through and detaching it from the collar bone. Some prefer to cut straight through the middle, depending on the ideas you have for cuts in the final stages. The heart and lungs may be detached and the throat cut into to remove the larynx and trachea. Once all of the inner organs have been removed, trim away any blood vessels or remaining pieces of connective tissue from the interior of the carcass, and wash out thoroughly.

Remove the Arms: Actual butchering of the carcass is now ready to begin. Cut into the armpit straight to the shoulder, and remove the arm bone, the humerus, from the collar bone and shoulder blade. Chop the hand off an inch or so above the wrist. Most of the meat here is between elbow and shoulder, as the muscle groups are larger here and due to the fact that there are two bones in the forearm. Another way of cutting this portion is to cut away the deltoid muscle from the upper arm near the shoulder (but leaving it attached to the trunk) before removing the limb. This decreases the percentage of usable meat on the arm, but allows a larger shoulder strip when excising the shoulder blade. Purely a matter of personal preference. Cut into and break apart the joint of the elbow, and the two halves of each arm are now ready for carving servings from. Human flesh should always be properly cooked before eating. In many humans, there is not enough meat on the arm to warrant any bother. However, if you have caught a meaty sports jock, he will have a lot of meat on his arms, and his biceps alone will provide enough meat for a large meal. The arm meat on wrestlers is a delicacy.

Halving the Carcass: The main body is now ready to be split. Some like to saw straight through the spine from buttocks to neck. This leaves the muscle fiber encasing the vertebrae on the end of the ribs. The meat here however is tightly wrapped about the bone, and we find it more suitable (if used at all) when boiled for soup. Thus, our preferred method is to completely remove the entire backbone by cutting and then sawing down either side from the tailbone on through.

Quartering the Carcass: The halves may now be taken down, unless your preparation table or butcher block is very short. This is inadequate, and you will have to quarter while hanging, slicing through the side at a point of your choosing between rib cage and pelvis. Now is also the time to begin thinking about how you would like to serve the flesh, as this will determine the style of cuts you are about to make. These will also be greatly affected by the muscular configuration (physical fitness) of your specimen. First, chop the feet off at a point about three inches up from the ankle. The bones are very thick where the leg connects to the foot. You will want to divide the side of meat into two further principal portions: the ribs and shoulder, and the half-pelvis and leg. In between is the "flank" or belly, which may be used for fillets or steaks, if thick enough, or even bacon strips if you wish to cut this thinly. Thin and wide strips of flesh may also be rolled, and cooked to serve as a roast. Trim away along the edge of the ribs, and then decide whether you will cut steaks from the flank into the thighs and rump, and carve accordingly.

Cutting the Top Quarter: Although not actually 25% of the meat you will get, this is designated as one-fourth of the carcass as divided into major portions. You may trim away the neck, or leave it to be connected with the shoulder, or "chuck". The first major step with this mass is to remove the shoulder blade and the collar bone. The best and easiest way we have found is to just cut along the outline of the shoulder blade, removing the meat on top and then dislocating the large bone. To excise the collar bone make an incision along its length and then cut and pry it away. Depending upon the development of the breast, you may decide it qualifies as a "brisket" and remove it before cutting the ribs. In the female the breast is composed largely of glands and fatty tissue, and despite its appetizing appearance is rather inedible. Again, if you have caught a strong human, the chest will yield a lot of meat. The ribs are the choice cut of the quarter. An perennial favorite for barbecuing, you may divide into sections of several ribs each and cook them as is, divide the strip in half for shorter ribs, or even carve rib steaks if the muscle mass is sufficient.

Cutting the Lower Quarter: This is where most of the meat is, humans being upright animals. The muscle mass is largest in the legs and rump. The bulk is so comparatively large here that you can do just about anything with it. The main pieces are the buttock or rump and the upper leg, the thigh. Our typical division is to cut the leg off at the bottom of the buttock, then chop away the bony mass of the knee, at places two to three inches away in either direction. Before doing this, however, you may want to remove the whole calf muscle from the back of the lower leg, as this is the best cut in its area. The upper leg is now ready for anything, most especially some beautiful, thick round steaks. The rump will have to be carved from the pelvis in a rather triangular piece. The legs attach at the hip at a forward point on the body, so there will be little interference as you carve along the curve of the pelvis. Remaining meat will be on the thighs in front of the pelvis.

And that's basically it. An average freezer provides plenty of storage space, or you may even wish to build a simple old-fashioned smokehouse (just like an outhouse, with a stone fire-pit instead of a shitter). Offal and other waste trimmings can be disposed of in a number of ways, burial, animal feed, and puree and flush being just a few. Bones will dry and become brittle after being baked an oven, and can be pulverized.

Bob Arson's White Devil Dinky-Dao Mothafucka Bobbacoo Sauce Marinade/Baste/Dip/Bloody Leroy Mix Ingredients:

1 8 oz. can tomato sauce 1 6 oz. can tomato paste 1 cup black coffee 3/4 cup beer (Killian's Red preferred) 3/4 cup fruit juice (citrus: orange/pineapple/mango type) 2 tblsp. whiskey 1 tblsp. lemon juice 1 tblsp. worcestershire sauce 1 tblsp. vinegar (red wine garlic preferred) 3 cloves garlic. minced 3 jalepeno peppers, minced 1/4 large onion, minced 1/8 red, 1/8 white preferred) 2 1/2 tsp. liquid smoke 2 tblsp. brown sugar 1 tblsp. molasses 1 1/2 tblsp. crushed red pepper 1 cube beef bouillon 1 1/2 tsp. salt 1 1/2 tsp ground black pepper 1 1/2 tsp. paprika 1 1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper 3 dashes basil 3 dashes oregano 3 dashes savory ashes of one fine thin joint

It is important to cook your human thoroughly, as they tend to be filled with a wide array of viruses and bacteria, especially swine flu. Human flesh should not be consumed unless it has been cooked to an internal temperature of at least 160°F. With that in mind, you can pretty much substitute human in any of your existing beef or pork recipes, but, since human meat has a genetic resemblance to pork, it is more common to use in pork recipes. Slow cooking tends to be the best way to bring out all of the natural flavors while optimizing the texture of the meat. As with all meats, you never want to over-cook your human. A general rule of thumb for oven roasting your human is 15-20 minutes per pound, but cooking times vary according to the recipe you are using.

 

[Kan]

All the Greek Gods after Fighting Kratos by Malswrld

Hercules: *Basically sobbing* And then the nigga took my weapons and just started banging, and banging, and banging! Like he kept fucking up my face! My mother don’t even recognize my own face, dawg! Like… dawg! *Sniffs*

Hermes: Ay, man, that’s tough, but… he took my J’s. Like he cut off my legs and took my J’s. I-I think that’s pretty bad.

Helios: He ripped my head off with his bare hands and proceeded to use me as a flashlight. You’re not even that fast, so I don’t why you was talking shit to him.

Zeus: Ladies, ladies. It’s not a competition.

Helios: Zeus, please. There’s no way you can compare death to ours. I mean, for your sake, Hades’ soul had been ripped out. It’s just his body there.

Zeus: Okay, okay. I admit- That’s pretty bad, but um… *Whispers to side with hand* I think we can all agree that Poseidon had it the worst.

(Briefly cut to Poseidon in glasses.)

Helios: *Almost silently* Ohhhhh, shit.

(Beat)

Ares: You know, when I fou-

Poseidon: SHUT YO BITCHASS UP, ARES! SHUT YO BITCHASS UP! THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!! *Slapping hands for emphasis* WHY DID YOU KILL HIS FAMILYYYYY?!?! WHYYYY?!?!

Ares: I just wanted him to be a great warrior-

Poseidon: Top 10 Dumbest Niggas in Videogame History! My God!

Zeus: Alright, alright, let’s have somebody else before Poseidon pops a vein, alright? Let’s… Uh- Ah! This is one of the Fates, I hear. Welcome, welcome. Tckkk. *Brings up finger* Umm, question. How did Kratos… How did Kratos go back in time, because I’m- I’m positive he don’t got that power?

Sisters Of Fate (Assumed to be Lahkesis): Oh, yeah, I can answer that. That’s easy. So… he was talking mad spicy to us, talking about “Oh, nobody can control me. I can control my own fate,-

Zeus (During last dialogue): Mm-hm.

Lahkesis: “-because I’m Him.” So, I took that as disrespect. I wasn’t gonna let that slide. So we was fighting, we was battling, and then at one point, I took him back in time to the point when he was about to kill Ares with the sword. Now the plan was, to break the sword. It was a great plan. He was just stronger than I thought. Like, boss, he was- that boi strong. That boi strong.

Poseidon: So… rather than going by yourself, which you could’ve done at anytime, regardless, you brought him with you… and gave him a chance?

Lahkesis: …Yes.

Poseidon: *Scoffs* You guys are fucking idiots.

Hephaestus: Damn, Poseidon, it’s not that deep.

Poseidon: He fucked your wife.

Hephaestus: *Shocked*

Poseidon: While you was in the dungeon, crying like a little bitch, for Pandora, he was out here, fucking your wife. And then, when he came back, he stabbed yo ass.

Zeus (during Poseidon’s dialogue): *Surprised*

Lahkesis (during Poseidon’s dialogue): *Covers mouth in shock*

Zeus: Me personally, I’m not lettting somebody who fucked my wife kill me with the weapons I made for him.

Poseidon: *Under breath* Oh, my Gosh. *Normal voice* Zeus, please, shut the fuck up. Out of all this, here, you’re the only person that he killed, like, what, twenty times?

Zeus: Ay, man, if anything that shows I got heart. I mean, it takes a real one to kill another real one, If you know what I mean. *Weak laughter*

Poseidon: *Repeatedly pressing the O button on the PS4 controller*

Zeus: What are you- What are you doing? Stop. Stop!

Poseidon: *Stops* Oh, my bad. I- I didn’t know I couldn’t.

Zeus: So, why are you still going?

Poseidon: Because it’s satisfying!

Athena: Okay, Poseidon, tha- that’s enough! Alright, we get it.

Poseidon: *Turns with a faltering smile* Athena, shut the fuck up! You ain’t no saint! Don’t act like we forgot you switched up on us after you died, which is crazy, because that shouldn’t have been the case because other than Aphrodite,
*Turns to Hephaestus for a moment*
WHO HE FUCKED
*Turns back to Athena*
You wasn’t on his kill list, but no, you wanna be a
*Imitating the Hog Rider call*
Dick rideeerrrrr!

Cronos: *Knocks on open door* Heyeyyyeyyyy, is this where the party at?

Zeus: Tckkk. Oh, Hell, naw! Who invited him, man? Get out, man!

Cronos: Come on, you still mad at me? What did I even do?

Zeus: You tried to eat me as a baby!

Theseus: *Briefly arrives at door*

Cronos: Oh. (Beat) That’s right.

Poseidon: Is that Cronos? Hey, buddy, long time, no see, because I literally can’t! *Almost laughing* How did you- How did you die?

Cronos: You know, I don’t wanna talk about it.

Poseidon: No, no, no! I get it. It’s hard to talk about when you got another man fucking you from the inside to the point where your guts fall out.

Thanatos: *Drinking water, kind of muffled* Damn!

Cronos: Thanatos, I know you not talking. You do realize killing his brother was a major fuck up, right?

Thanatos: First off, I barely touched him. Alright? To this day, I don’t even know how I killed him. Second, maybe if you guys brought me the right child, we wouldn’t be in this situation.

Zeus: Ay, you know what, I take full responsibility for that, *Gestures hand, while actually referring to Ares* because I sent a dumbass to do the job. *Turns to Ares*

Ares: …Tckkkkk, come on, man. I said I was sorry. Plus, you said get the kid with the red marks.

Zeus: Yeah! And I also told you to make sure his name was KRATOS!

Perseus: *Literally invisible* Where?

Zeus: *Turns to Perseus* N- No, Perseus, he’s not here.

Perseus: *Audibly relieved* Oh, thank God.

Poseidon: Is he still invisible?

Zeus, presumably: Yeah.

Poseidon: *Scoffs* I knew it. Pussy.

Gaia: Oh, my Gosh, Poseidon. You’ve been crying all day. Why are you so pressed?

Poseidon: Why am I pre- Who said that dumbass shit- GAIA?! BITCH, YOU KNOW WHY I’M PRESSED! YOU WAS THERE! Alright?! First of, besides Zeus, I’m the strongest god, here, so when I was taken care of, I knew you what was up for ya’ll-

Hercules: *Tries to raise hand and brings up finger*

Poseidon: Hercules, put your fucking hand down!
Motherfucker! My name has been disrespected for far too long! Do you know that niggas have compared me to Aquaman?

Zeus: Aquaman?

Poseidon: I-I-I mean like that IS SO DISRESPECT- Go on YouTube, right now, and search up Kratos Vs. GUESS WHO’S NAME IS IN THE TOP THREE, IF NOT NUMBER ONE. ME!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?!
Gaia: *In surprise and shock while watching from laptop*
Poseidon: Because I don’t know what I did, but what he did to me had to be racist!

(I personally checked, and at the time I’m writing this, if you literally just put the letter “K” in the search bar without pressing Enter on YouTube, Kratos Vs. Poseidon is one of the top possible results.)

 

[Time 4 Guillotines]

Daddy’s cummies, nice and yummy
Thick and gooey, feel like honey
That sweet milk, oh-so-tasty
Daddy, Daddy, please be hasty!
My tongue swirls round and round
While Daddy gives my ass a great big pound
Over in the corner, wrapped in chains ⛓
Mommy huddled over, screaming in pain
“Shut up, bitch! Stay on the floor!”
Mommy sobbing louder, I call 🗣 her a whore
She reaches behind her for her gun
While Daddy gropes and tickles my sweet buns
Puts the barrel between her teeth
And Daddy’s semen begins to seep ️
Gunpowder, blood, brains and gore
Mommy’s lifeless corpse slumps to the floor
Cummies, cummies filling my throat
My pussy is completely soaked
But Daddy’s cock just gets bigger
Over near the drawers, he grabs the scissors
Cuts a hole 🕳 in Mommy’s stomach
In her hand, a gin and tonic
He begins to unravel her strings of intestines
“Look closely, you’ll learn a lesson”
Ties a noose, rigs it tight
“Sweetie, sweetie, no need to fight”
Puts her guts around my neck
“Looks like everything’s good and set”
Lets me fall down about a yard
Face turning blue, choking hard
All the while, Daddy’s stroking his cock
And for a moment, our eyes 👁 lock
Tears of joy stream down my face
I’m going to a better place~

 

[Kan]

All the Greek Gods after Fighting Kratos by Malswrld (Slightly corrected version)

Hercules: *Basically sobbing* And then the nigga took my weapons and just started banging, and banging, and banging! Like he kept fucking up my face! My mother don’t even recognize my own face, dawg! Like… dawg! *Sniffs*

Hermes: Ay, man, that’s tough, but… he took my J’s. Like he cut off my legs and took my J’s. I-I think that’s pretty bad.

Helios: He ripped my head off with his bare hands and proceeded to use me as a flashlight. You’re not even that fast, so I don’t why you was talking shit to him.

Zeus: Ladies, ladies. It’s not a competition.

Helios: Zeus, please. There’s no way you can compare death to ours. I mean, for your sake, Hades’ soul had been ripped out. It’s just his body there.

Zeus: Okay, okay. I admit- That’s pretty bad, but um… *Whispers to side with hand* I think we can all agree that Poseidon had it the worst.

(Briefly cut to Poseidon in glasses.)

Helios: *Almost silently* Ohhhhh, shit.

(Beat)

Ares: You know, when I fou-

Poseidon: SHUT YO BITCHASS UP, ARES! SHUT YO BITCHASS UP! THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!! *Slapping hands for emphasis* WHY DID YOU KILL HIS FAMILYYYYY?!?! WHYYYY?!?!

Ares: I just wanted him to be a great warrior-

Poseidon: Top 10 Dumbest Niggas in Videogame History! My God!

Zeus: Alright, alright, let’s have somebody else before Poseidon pops a vein, alright? Let’s… Uh- Ah! This is one of the Fates, I hear. Welcome, welcome. Tckkk. *Brings up finger* Umm, question. How did Kratos… How did Kratos go back in time, because I’m- I’m positive he don’t got that power?

Sisters Of Fate (Assumed to be Lahkesis): Oh, yeah, I can answer that. That’s easy. So… he was talking mad spicy to us, talking about “Oh, nobody can control me. I can control my own fate,-

Zeus (During last dialogue): Mm-hm.

Lahkesis: “-because I’m Him.” So, I took that as disrespect. I wasn’t gonna let that slide. So we was fighting, we was battling, and then at one point, I took him back in time to the point when he was about to kill Ares with the sword. Now the plan was, to break the sword. It was a great plan. He was just stronger than I thought. Like, boss, he was- that boi strong. That boi strong.

Poseidon: So… rather than going by yourself, which you could’ve done at anytime, regardless, you brought him with you… and gave him a chance?

Lahkesis: …Yes.

Poseidon: *Scoffs* You guys are fucking idiots.

Hephaestus: Damn, Poseidon, it’s not that deep.

Poseidon: He fucked your wife.

Hephaestus: *Shocked*

Poseidon: While you was in the dungeon, crying like a little bitch, for Pandora, he was out here, fucking your wife. And then, when he came back, he stabbed yo ass.

Zeus (during Poseidon’s dialogue): *Surprised*

Lahkesis (during Poseidon’s dialogue): *Covers mouth in shock*

Zeus: Me personally, I’m not lettting somebody who fucked my wife kill me with the weapons I made for him.

Poseidon: *Under breath* Oh, my Gosh. *Normal voice* Zeus, please, shut the fuck up. Out of all us, here, you’re the only person that he killed, like, what, twenty times?

Zeus: Ay, man, if anything that shows I got heart. I mean, it takes a real one to kill another real one, If you know what I mean. *Weak laughter*

Poseidon: *Repeatedly pressing the O button on the PS4 controller*

Zeus: What are you- What are you doing? Stop. Stop!

Poseidon: *Stops* Oh, my bad. I- I didn’t know I couldn’t.

Zeus: So, why are you still going?

Poseidon: Because it’s satisfying!

Athena: Okay, Poseidon, tha- that’s enough! Alright, we get it.

Poseidon: *Turns with a faltering smile* Athena, shut the fuck up! You ain’t no saint! Don’t act like we forgot you switched up on us after you died, which is crazy, because that shouldn’t have been the case because other than Aphrodite,
*Turns to Hephaestus for a moment*
WHO HE FUCKED
*Turns back to Athena*
You wasn’t on his kill list, but no, you wanna be a
*Imitating the Hog Rider call*
Dick rideeerrrrr!

Cronos: *Knocks on open door* Heyeyyyeyyyy, is this where the party at?

Zeus: Tckkk. Oh, Hell, naw! Who invited him, man? Get out, man!

Cronos: Come on, you still mad at me? What did I even do?

Zeus: You tried to eat me as a baby!

Theseus: *Briefly arrives at door*

Cronos: Oh. (Beat) That’s right.

Poseidon: Is that Cronos? Hey, buddy, long time, no see, because I literally can’t! *Almost laughing* How did you- How did you die?

Cronos: You know, I don’t wanna talk about it.

Poseidon: No, no, no! I get it. It’s hard to talk about when you got another man fucking you from the inside to the point where your guts fall out.

Thanatos: *Drinking water, kind of muffled* Damn!

Cronos: Thanatos, I know you not talking. You do realize killing his brother was a major fuck up, right?

Thanatos: First off, I barely touched him. Alright? To this day, I don’t even know how I killed him. Second, maybe if you guys brought me the right child, we wouldn’t be in this situation.

Zeus: Ay, you know what, I take full responsibility for that, *Gestures hand, while actually referring to Ares* because I sent a dumbass to do the job. *Turns to Ares*

Ares: …Tckkkkk, come on, man. I said I was sorry. Plus, you said get the kid with the red marks.

Zeus: Yeah! And I also told you to make sure his name was KRATOS!

Perseus: *Literally invisible* Where?

Zeus: *Turns to Perseus* N- No, Perseus, he’s not here.

Perseus: *Audibly relieved* Oh, thank God.

Poseidon: Is he still invisible?

Zeus, presumably: Yeah.

Poseidon: *Scoffs* I knew it. Pussy.

Gaia: Oh, my Gosh, Poseidon. You’ve been crying all day. Why are you so pressed?

Poseidon: Why am I pre- Who said that dumbass shit- GAIA?! BITCH, YOU KNOW WHY I’M PRESSED! YOU WAS THERE! Alright?! First of, besides Zeus, I’m the strongest god, here, so when I was taken care of, I knew you what was up for ya’ll-

Hercules: *Tries to raise hand and brings up finger*

Poseidon: Hercules, put your fucking hand down!
Motherfucker! My name has been disrespected for far too long! Do you know that niggas have compared me to Aquaman?

Zeus: Aquaman?

Poseidon: I-I-I mean like that IS SO DISRESPECT- Go on YouTube, right now, and search up Kratos Vs. GUESS WHO’S NAME IS IN THE TOP THREE, IF NOT NUMBER ONE. ME!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?!
Gaia: *In surprise and shock while watching from laptop*
Poseidon: Because I don’t know what I did, but what he did to me had to be racist!

(I personally checked, and at the time I wrote most of this, if you literally just put the letter “K” in the search bar without pressing Enter on YouTube, Kratos Vs. Poseidon is one of the top possible results.)

 

[Kan]

All the Greek Gods after Fighting Kratos by Malswrld (Even more corrected version)

Hercules: *Basically sobbing* And then the nigga took my weapons and just started banging, and banging, and banging! Like he kept fucking up my face! My mother don’t even recognize my own face, dawg! Like… dawg! *Sniffs*

Hermes: Ay, man, that’s tough, but… he took my J’s. Like he cut off my legs and took my J’s. I-I think that’s pretty bad.

Helios: He ripped my head off with his bare hands and proceeded to use me as a flashlight. You’re not even that fast, so I don’t why you was talking shit to him.

Zeus: Ladies, ladies. It’s not a competition.

Helios: Zeus, please. There’s no way you can compare death to ours. I mean, for your sake, Hades’ soul had been ripped out. It’s just his body there.

Zeus: Okay, okay. I admit- That’s pretty bad, but um… *Whispers to side with hand* I think we can all agree that Poseidon had it the worst.

(Briefly cut to Poseidon in glasses.)

Helios: *Almost silently* Ohhhhh, shit.

(Beat)

Ares: You know, when I fou-

Poseidon: SHUT YO BITCHASS UP, ARES! SHUT YO BITCHASS UP! THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!! *Slapping hands for emphasis* WHY DID YOU KILL HIS FAMILYYYYY?!?! WHYYYY?!?!

Ares: I just wanted him to be a great warrior-

Poseidon: Top 10 Dumbest Niggas in Videogame History! My God!

Zeus: Alright, alright, let’s have somebody else before Poseidon pops a vein, alright? Let’s… Uh- Ah! This is one of the Fates, I hear. Welcome, welcome. Tckkk. *Brings up finger* Umm, question. How did Kratos… How did Kratos go back in time, because I’m- I’m positive he don’t got that power?

Sisters Of Fate (Assumed to be Lahkesis): Oh, yeah, I can answer that. That’s easy. So… he was talking mad spicy to us, talking about “Oh, nobody can control me. I can control my own fate,-

Zeus (During last dialogue): Mm-hm.

Lahkesis: “-because I’m Him.” So, I took that as disrespect. I wasn’t gonna let that slide. So we was fighting, we was battling, and then at one point, I took him back in time to the point when he was about to kill Ares with the sword. Now the plan was, to break the sword. It was a great plan. He was just stronger than I thought. Like, boss, he was- that boi strong. That boi strong.

Poseidon: So… rather than going by yourself, which you could’ve done at anytime, regardless, you brought him with you… and gave him a chance?

Lahkesis: …Yes.

Poseidon: *Scoffs* You guys are fucking idiots.

Hephaestus: Damn, Poseidon, it’s not that deep.

Poseidon: He fucked your wife.

Hephaestus: *Shocked*

Poseidon (while Hephaestus is shocked): While you was in that dungeon,- And then, when he came back, he stabbed yo ass.

Zeus (during Poseidon’s dialogue): *Surprised*

Poseidon (while Zeus is seen surprised): -crying like a little bitch, for Pandora,-

Lahkesis (during Poseidon’s dialogue): *Covers mouth in shock*

Poseidon (while Lahkesis is seen shocked): -he was out here, fucking your wife.

Poseidon (continuing immediately): And then, when he came back, he stabbed yo ass.

Zeus: Me personally, I’m not lettting somebody who fucked my wife kill me with the weapons I made for him.

Poseidon: *Under breath* Oh, my Gosh. *Normal voice* Zeus, please, shut the fuck up. Out of all us, here, you’re the only person that he killed, like, what, twenty times?

Zeus: Ay, man, if anything that shows I got heart. I mean, it takes a real one to kill another real one, If you know what I mean. *Weak laughter*

Poseidon: *Repeatedly pressing the O button on the PS4 controller*

Zeus: What are you- What are you doing? Stop. Stop!

Poseidon: *Stops* Oh, my bad. I- I didn’t know I couldn’t.

Zeus: So, why are you still going?

Poseidon: Because it’s satisfying!

Athena: Okay, Poseidon, tha- that’s enough! Alright, we get it.

Poseidon: *Turns with a faltering smile* Athena, shut the fuck up! You ain’t no saint! Don’t act like we forgot that you switched up on us after you died, which is crazy, because that shouldn’t have been the case because other than Aphrodite,
*Turns to Hephaestus for a moment*
WHO HE FUCKED
*Turns back to Athena*
You wasn’t on his kill list, but no, you wanna be a
*Imitating the Hog Rider call*
Dick rideeerrrrr!

Cronos: *Knocks on open door* Heyeyyyeyyyy, is this where the party at?

Zeus: Tckkk. Oh, Hell, naw! Who invited him, man? Get out, man!

Cronos: Come on, you still mad at me? What did I even do?

Zeus: You tried to eat me as a baby!

Theseus: *Briefly arrives at door*

Cronos: Oh. (Beat) That’s right.

Poseidon: Is that Cronos? Hey, buddy, long time, no see, because I literally can’t! *Almost laughing* How did you- How did you die?

Cronos: You know, I don’t wanna talk about it.

Poseidon: No, no, no! I get it. It’s hard to talk about when you got another man fucking you from the inside to the point where your guts fall out.

Thanatos: *Drinking water, kind of muffled* Damn!

Cronos: Thanatos, I know you not talking. You do realize killing his brother was a major fuck up, right?

Thanatos: First off, I barely touched him. Alright? To this day, I don’t even know how I killed him. Second, maybe if you guys brought me the right child, we wouldn’t be in this situation.

Zeus: Ay, you know what, I take full responsibility for that, *Gestures hand, while actually referring to Ares* because I sent a dumbass to do the job. *Turns to Ares*

Ares: …Tckkkkk, come on, man. I said I was sorry. Plus, you said get the kid with the red marks.

Zeus: Yeah! And I also told you to make sure his name was KRATOS!

Perseus: *Literally invisible* Where?

Zeus: *Turns to Perseus* N- No, Perseus, he’s not here.

Perseus: *Audibly relieved* Oh, thank God.

Poseidon: Is he still invisible?

Zeus, presumably: Yeah.

Poseidon: *Scoffs* I knew it. Pussy.

Gaia: Oh, my Gosh, Poseidon. You’ve been crying all day. Why are you so pressed?

Poseidon: Why am I pre- Who said that dumbass shit- GAIA?! BITCH, YOU KNOW WHY I’M PRESSED! YOU WAS THERE! Alright?! First of, besides Zeus, I’m the strongest god, here, so when I was taken care of, I knew you what was up for ya’ll-

Hercules: *Tries to raise hand and brings up finger*

Poseidon: Hercules, put your fucking hand down!
Motherfucker! My name has been disrespected for far too long! Do you know that niggas have compared me to Aquaman?

Zeus: Aquaman?

Poseidon: I-I-I mean like that IS SO DISRESPECT- Go on YouTube, right now, and search up Kratos Vs. GUESS WHO’S NAME IS IN THE TOP THREE, IF NOT NUMBER ONE. ME!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?!
Gaia: *In surprise and shock while watching from laptop*
Poseidon: Because I don’t know what I did, but what he did to me had to be racist!

(I personally checked, and at the time I wrote most of this, if you literally just put the letter “K” in the search bar without pressing Enter on YouTube, Kratos Vs. Poseidon is one of the top possible results.)

 

[Kan]

(From the second guy on the Cheese Wars thread from Kiwi Farms:)

Gouda, Brie, American Cheese, Pecorino Romano, Cheddar, Manchego, Camembert, Smoked Gouda, Provolone, Babybel, Parmesan, Mascarpone, Mozzarella, Asiago, Feta, Le Gruyere AOP, Gorgonzola, Monterey Jack, Stilton, Abbaye de Belloc, Taleggio, Grana Padano, Swiss, Boursin, Cotija, Fontina Val d’Aosta, Roquefort, Blue Vein Cheese, Emmental, Grana, Jarlsberg, Mozzarella di Bufala, Pepper Jack, Munster, Bocconcini, Fromage Frais, Ricotta Salata, Cream Havarti, Scamorza, Fromage a Raclette, Chevre, Pecorino, Burrata, Halloumi, Aged Gouda, Fresh Mozzarella, Colby, Limburger, Paneer, Queso Blanco, Port-Salut, Adelost, Abondance, Butterkase, Brillat-Savarin, Comte, Camembert de Normandie, Reblochon, Longhorn, Oaxaca, Airag, Abbaye du Mont des Cats, Saint Agur, Cottage Cheese, Panela, Acapella, Fresh Truffles, Romano, Wensleydale, Double Gloucester, Red Leicester, Abbaye de Citeaux, Colby-Jack, Caciocavallo, Crottin de Chavignol, Cream Cheese, Zanetti Parmigiano Reggiano, Juustoleipa, Baby Swiss, Le Roule, Brie de Meaux, Berkswell, Fresh Ricotta, Maasdam, Canadian Cheddar, Ambert, Tommes, Cantal, Menonita, Crescenza, Queso Ibérico, Crema Mexicana, Sage Derby, Geitost, Brick, Kasseri, Bel Paese, Affidelice au Chablis, Pave d’Affinois, Muenster, Danablu, Acorn, Afuega’l Pitu, Abbot’s Gold, La Vache Qui Rit, Buffalo, Caerphilly, Tomme de Chevre, Bath Cheese, Epoisses de Bourgogne, Cheshire, Neufchatel, Blue Castello, Basket Cheese, Saint-Nectaire, Cabrales, Stinking Bishop, Cotswold, Sainte Maure, Applewood, Fiore Sardo, Dolcelatte, Pont l’Eveque, Cahill’s Irish Porter Cheddar, Zanetti Grana Padano, Langres, Seriously Strong Cheddar, Il Boschetto al Tartufo, Appenzeller, Montasio, Ossua-Iraty, Ami du Chambertin, Vignotte, Wigmore, Humboldt Fog, Saint-Paulin, Brie de Melun, Maytag blue, Armenian String Cheese, Délice de Bourgogne, Kashkaval, Bra, Abbaye de Belval, Quark, Valencay, Provel, Pule, Etorki, Banon, Morbier, Boulette d’Avesnes, Breakfast Cheese, Caciotta, Idiazabal, Bavarian Bergkase, Allgauer Emmentaler, Bresse Bleu, Airedale, Livarot, Mimolette, Tomme de Savoie, Toma, Burgos, Ardrahan, Danbo, Requeson, Aisy Cendre, Ragusano, Castelmagno, Saint-André, Aged Chelsea, Caravane, String, Chaource, Bleu des Causses, Huntsman, Yorkshire Blue, Cougar Gold, Coulommiers, Tillamook cheddar, Beenleigh Blue, Danish Feta, Brin d’Amour, Somerset Brie, Ardi Gasna, Zamorano, Dry Jack, Vacherin Fribourgeois, Lincolnshire Poacher, Caprice des Dieux, Bandal, Creamy Lancashire, Queso Fresco, Petit-Suisse, Aragon, Oxford Blue, Manouri, Grève, Maroilles, Derby, Bierkase, Crowdie, Vacherin, Marbled Cheeses, Queso Para Frier, Chabichou du Poitou, Marble Cheddar, Soumaintrain, Esrom, Boursault, Bosworth, Leyden, Chaumes, Cotherstone, Explorateur, Tyning, Anneau du Vic-Bilh, White Stilton with Mango & Ginger, Perail de Brebis, Cabécou, Anthotyro, Hereford Hop, Saint-Marcellin, Alverca, Fleur du Maquis, Baladi, Quartirolo Lombardo, Waterloo, Brocciu, Bleu de Laqueuille, Brie au Poivre, Sonoma Jack, Cold Pack, Beyaz Peynir, Mamirolle, Tomme Brulee, Tetilla, Spenwood, Autun, Coeur de Camembert au Calvados, Beemster Extra Aged, Kapiti Kikorangi, Rocamadour, Dauphin, Baguette Laonnaise, Fougerus, Leerdammer, Aromes au Gene de Marc, Piave Vecchio, Mascarpone Torta, Cashel Blue, Wensleydale w/ Cranberries, Golden Cross, Picos de Europa, Finn, Vasterbottenost, Bryndza, Parrano, Canestrato, Flower Marie, Sap Sago, Myzithra, Mothais a la Feuille, Mycella, Salers, Gammelost, Shropshire blue, Kadchgall, Raschera, Harbourne Blue, Wellington, Gloucester, Vulscombe, Basing, Capricorn Somerset Goats Cheese, Cuajada, Graviera, Filetta, Olde York, Brebis de Lavort, Australian Blue Vein, Roncal, Exmoor Blue, Australian Washed Rind Cheese, Carre de l’Est, Mun-chee, Rigotte, Hushållsost, Cornish Yarg, Brin, Devon Blue, Buchette d’Anjou, Bishop Kennedy, Murol, Laguiole, Toscanello, Royalp Tilsit, Double Worcester, Bougon, Torta del Casar, Tete de Moine, Sancerre, Danish Fontina, Bergader, Pavé d’Auge, Pinconning, Saint Albray, Brousse du Rove, Roule, Coverdale, Xynotyro, Le Brin, Fontainebleau, Reggianito, Coeur de Chèvre, Sottocenere al Tartufo, Australian Mozzarella, Tamie, Castigliano, Celtic Promise, Tibetan, Duddleswell, Picodon de Chevre, Asiago Pressato, Saga, Butte, Cendre d’Olivet, Emmental Grand Cru, Ballylough, Gospel Green, Tourmalet, Dunsyre Blue, La Taupinière, Gorgonzola Cremificato, Selles sur Cher, Buxton Blue, Cheese Curds, Sharpham, Charolais, Chevrotin des Aravis, Gratte Paille, Bruder Basil, Beemster Aged, Pant ys Gawn, Fourme de Montbrison, Mascares, Fromage Corse, Beemster Classic, Caciotta Al Tartufo, Piave, Macconais, Casciotta di Urbino, Trou du Cru, Fresh Jack, Sirène, Galbani, Grafton Village Cheddar, Orkney Extra Mature Cheddar, Red Windsor, Figue, Edelpilz, Lou Palou, Tymsboro, Brunost, Anthotyro Fresco, Venaco, Nokkelost, Gubbeen, Dunlop, Niolo, Australian Cottage Cheese, Cerney Pyramid, Briquette de Brebis, Crottin du Chavignol, Crayeux de Roncq, Herrdardsost, Mont D’or Lyonnais, Denhany Dorset Drum, Cachaille, Olivet Cendre, Pecorino in Walnut Leaves, Australian Ricotta, Fromage de Montagne de Savoie, Hoop Cheese, Queso Jalapeno, Morbier Cru de Montagne, Galette Lyonnaise, Castelo Branco, Pannerone, Curé Nantais, Tommes de Romans, Esbareich, Formaggio di Capra, Serra da Estrela, Tournée de L’Aubier, Bouyssou, Sardo, Flor de Guia, Quercy Petit, Emlett, Olivet au Foin, Capriole Banon, Devon Garland, Sourire Lozerien, Claenzana, Frying Cheese, Albertam, Dorset Blue Vinney, Prastost, Kashta, Kiri, Little Black Bomber, Texas Goat Cheese, Beemster Graskaas, Boule du Roves, Poivre d’ ne, Dubliner, Pélardon des Cévennes, Mondseer, Fondant de Brebis, Sussex SlipCôte, Pourly, Crowley, Laruns, Caboc, Hervé, Graddost, Curworthy, Yarra Valley Fresh Pyramid, Grand Vatel, Blarney Castle, Nantais, Bergère Bleue, Pâte de Fromage, Margot, Grataron d’ Areches, Galette du Paludier, Rollot, Coquetdale, Petit Pardou, Heidi Cheese, Matocq, Civray, Fin-de-Siècle, Pouligny-Saint-Pierre, Asiago d’Allevo, Plymouth Cheese, Idaho Goatster, Greuilh, Vieux Corse, Pyramide, Havilah, Rustinu, Cornish Pepper, L’Aveyronnais, Avonlea Clothbound Cheddar, Sveciaost, Lingot Saint Bousquet d’Orb, Barry’s Bay Cheddar, Dreux a la Feuille, Tronchon, Quadrello di Bufala, Kefalotyri, Beemster 2% Milk, Duroblando, Delice des Fiouves, Pithtiviers au Foin, P’tit Berrichon, Fourme de Haute Loire, Balaton, Brebis du Puyfaucon, Pas de l’Escalette, Quatre-Vents, Lappi, Vendômois, Kernhem, Briquette du Forez, Friesla, Port Nicholson, L’Ecir de l’Aubrac, Rouleau De Beaulieu, Le Fium Orbo, Weichkaese, Olivet Bleu, Little Rydings, Telemea, Guerbigny, Boncester, Menallack Farmhouse, Pave de Chirac, Teifi, Loddiswell Avondale, Australian Neufchâtel, Innes Button, Kanafeh, Gris de Lille, Klosterkaese, Tommes des Chouans, Pasteurized Processed, Mahoe Aged Gouda, Harriot Farmhouse, Tillamook Smoked Black Pepper White Cheddar, Frinault, Gastanberra, Ulloa, Chab de Gâtine, Cathelain, Sraffordshire Organic, Le Lacandou, Blue Rathgore, Ridder, Durrus, Roman Part Dieu, Bethmale des Pyrenees, Blue Wensleydale, Calcagno, Palet de Babligny, Dutch Mimolette, Patefine Fort, Provolone Valpadana, Lou Pevre, Avaxtskyr, Regal de la Dombes, Shelburne Cheddar, Mihalic Peynir, Cahill’s Whiskey Cheese, Swaledale, Maribo, Chorlton Blue Cheshire, Coolea, Braudostur, Samso, Pelardon des Corbieres, Hubbardston Blue Cow, Boeren-Leidse Met Sleutels, Cairnsmore, Isle of Mull, Sbrinz, Crema Mexicana Agria, Cypress Grove Chevre, Goutu, Richelieu, Goutu, Australian Mascarpone, Orla, Evora De L’Alentejo, Doppelrhamstufel, Doolin, Cooleney, Gippsland Blue, Wookey Hole Cave Aged Cheddar, Evansdale Farmhouse Brie, Jindi Brie, Whitestone Farmhouse, Oscypek, Northumberland, Galloway’s Goat Milk Gems, Lajta, King River Gold, Beauvoorde, HarlechTruckle, Buche de Chevre, Challerhocker, Four Herb Gouda, Manur, Sweet Style Swiss, Corleggy, Fynbo, Passendale, Shanklish, Peekskill, Grey Owl, Queso del Tiétar, Saanenkaese, Rabacal, Yarra Valley Ashed Pyramid, Reypenaer, Oltermanni, Panamellera, Saalan Pfarr, Pyengana Cheddar, Ardsallagh Hard Goat’s Cheese, Meira, Woodside Cabecou, Croghan, La Serena, Lairobell, Monastery Cheeses, Malvern, Meyer Vintage Gouda, Montasio Mezzano, Queso del Montsec, Lanark Blue, Saint Felicien, Kervella Affine, Serat, Lebben, Lacy Swiss, Selva, Montasio Vecchio, Dunbarra, Processed Cheddar, King Island Cape Wickham Brie, Llangofan Farmhouse, Provolone del Monaco, Piora, Queso de Murcia, Mature Wensleydale, Loch Arthur Farmhouse, Jibneh Arabieh, Molbo, Tala, Imokilly regato, Maredsous, Schloss, Naboulsi, Turunmaa, Daralagjazsky, Piave Vecchio Selezione Oro, Brusselae Kaas, Reypenaer V.S.O.P., Tupi, Cwmtawe Pecorino, Folded Cheese w/ Mint, Buchetta a la Sarriette, Podhalański, Hipi Ita, Jermi Tortes, Mersey Valley Original Vintage, Jubilee Blue, Tasmania Highland Chevre Log, Mine-Gabhar, Nettle Meadow Kunik, Amish Frolic, Rubens, Montgomery’s Cheddar, Kugelkase, Provoleta, Bonne Bouche, Ardsallagh’s Soft Goat Cheese, Gornoaltajski, Picobello, Garrotxa, Cancoillotte, Ardsallagh’s Smoked Cheese, Grabetto, Pokolbin, Remedou, Golden Smoked Rebel, Tyn Grug, Appalachian, Pencarreg, Trappiste d’Igny, Waimata Farmhouse Blue, Catupiry, Trappiste de Bricquebec, Goya, Ameribella, Timboon Brie, Oschtjepka, Leafield, Dessertnyj Belyj, Piave Fresco, Prince-Jean, Penbryn, Red Dragon Truckle, Point Reyes Bay Blue, Bica de Queijo, Extra Mature Wensleydale, Prima Donna Maturo, Byaslag, Queso Media Luna, Sulguni, Reypenaer XO Reserve, Prima Donna, Llanboidy, Chontaleno, Beecher’s Flagship, Anari, Alpha Tolman, Queso Blanco con Frutas – Piña y Mango, Meredith Blue, Roumy, Cornish Brie, Postel, Blacksticks Blue, Oak Smoked Wensleydale, Aubisque Pyrenees, Rochebaron, Burwash Rose, Bleu Mont Dairy Bandaged Cheddar, Azeitao, Paški Sir, Bermuda Triangle, May Hill Green, Gamoneu, St. Killian, Woodside Charlston, Urda, Balfour, Bear Hill, Crema de Blue, Cabot Clothbound, Onions and Chives Cheddar, Prima Donna Forte, Scotch Bonnet Cheddar, Chavroux, Glebe Brethan, Zimbro, Lingot Des Causses, Piave Mezzano, Coolattin Cheddar, Roaring Forties Blue, Maisie’s Kebbuck, Farm Chanco, Prima Donna Fino, Milleens, Broncha, Ackawi, Stichelton, Cratloe Hills, Winnimere, Panquehue, Hooligan, Aura, Prima Donna Leggero, Westfield Farm Smoked Capri, Smoked Sulguni, Dunbarton Blue, Fuzzy Wheel, Pleasant Ridge Reserve, Landaff, Estero Gold Reserve, Carlow, Bleu d’Auvergne, Liliputas, Bega Processed Cheddar, Gorgonzola Dolce DOP, Accasciato, Txiki, Crozier, Gorwydd Caerphilly, Kennebec Highlands Caerphilly, Anejo Enchilado, Chiriboga Blue, Brinza – Feta Style, Cup Cheese, Woodside Alpine, Forsterkase, ADL Brick Cheese, Kanterkaas, Milawa Affine, Branza de Burduf, Bartlett, Chhurpi, Konig Ludwig King’s, Milawa Aged Blue, Mt. Scott, Milawa Blue, Wakatipu White, ADL Mild Cheddar, Milawa Goats Tomme, Milawa White, Bath Blue, Milawa Brie, Toma Piemontese, Trappe de la Coudre, Cropwell Bishop Blue Stilton, Gourmandise, Bayley Hazen Blue, Cacio di Bosco al Tartufo, Sartori Reserve Merlot Bellavitano, Appleby’s Double Gloucester, Amul Gouda, Za’atar Burrata, Cornish Kern, Midnight Moon, Cabecou Feuille D’Armagnac, Bismark, Cello Thick And Smooth Mascarpone, Allium Piper, Amul Pizza Mozzarella Cheese, Asher Blue, Barilotto, Sartori Reserve Black Pepper Bellavitano, Sosha, Lamb Chopper, La Tur, Dark/Snow Canyon Edam, Hafod, Barambah Organics Marinated Feta, Bloomsdale, Crumbly Lancashire, Wagon Wheel, Labneh, Sleightlett, Classics Fresh Mozzarella, Colston Bassett Stilton, Sartori Limited Edition Cognac Bellavitano, Purple Haze, Paglierino, Sartori Reserve Rosemary And Olive Oil Asiago, Old Ford, Alpine Gold, Dehesa De Los Llanos – Curado, Maggie’s Round, Pigoullie, Sartori Reserve BellaVitano Gold, Sartori Reserve Balsamic Bellavitano, Ailsa Craig, Cornish Wild Garlic Yarg, Ticklemore, Kaltbach Emmentaler AOP, Harbison, Capra Nouveau, Caciobufala, Alps Rebel, Blue Ledge La Luna, Aggiano, PsycheDillic, Bufalino, Laura Chenel’s Cabecou, Sartori Reserve Chai Bellavitano, Cornish Blue, Truffle Tremor, Zelu Koloria, Tasty Lancashire, Delamere Goats Cheese Logs, Crocodile Tear, Le Brebiou, Alma Vorarlberger Alpkase (3-5 Months), Wasabi Disc, Apple Walnut Smoked, Ogleshield, Perroche, LaClare Ziege Zacke Blue, Wellesley, Alma Vorarlberger Alpkase (10 Months), Alma Vorarlberger Alpkase (12 Months), Caciocavallo Podolico Vetus, Cardo, Chadwickbury, Chevre Log, Ragstone, Alma Vorarlberger Alpkase (6-9 Months), Cinerino, Cote Hill Blue, Dorstone, Black Pearl, Amul Cheese Spread, Sartori Reserve Espresso Bellavitano, Wabash Cannonball, Herbs de Humboldt, Wasatch Mountain Cheese, Amul Processed Cheese, Dehesa De Los Llanos – Gran Reserva, Mobay, Caprotto, Julianna, Amul Emmental, Chile Caciotta, Baron Bigod, Marisa, Zwitser, Boo Boo Baby Swiss, Sartori Classic MontAmore, Mona, Innes Brick, Ficaccio, Goats’ Milk Caciotta, Sgt. Pepper, The City Goat, Alma Vorarlberger Alpkase (6 Months), Innes Log, Weston Wheel, Mont Saint-Francis, Mastorazio, La Fleurie, Ms. Natural, Swag, West West Blue, Couronne Lochoise, Consider Bardwell Farm Manchester, Pecorino Mallo di Noce, Heat, Lil Moo, Ricotta di Pecora, Caciocavallo di Bufala, Sofia, Pecorino al Tartufo, Moses Sleeper, Legato, Dehesa De Los Llanos – Media Curación, Menage, Lady Jane, Lou Bergier Pichin, Danby, Midnight Blue, Minuet, Manteca, Barber’s 1833, Infossato, Old Kentucky Tomme, Rosso, Chura Kampo, Carrot Rebel, Lord Of Hundreds, Bufarolo, Figaro, Willoughby, Lincoln Log, Moonglo, Tartufo Riserva, Prairie Tomme, Wilde Weide, Bossa, La Peral, Carmody, Sartori Limited Edition Pastorale Blend, Goat Milk Feta, Stawley, Piper’s Pyramide, LaClare Farms Evalon with Fenugreek, Little Bloom On The Prairie, Tozzetto, Windrush Cheeses, Kolan Extra Mature, LaClare Farms Chevre, Lemon Myrtle Chevre, Cuor di Burrata, Thomasville Tomme, Monte Enebro, LaClare Farms Evalon, LaClare Farms Fondry Jack, Dalemere Medium Hard Goat Cheese, Strathdon Blue, Goat on a Hot Tin Roof, Blu di Bufala, Classico Pecorino Senese, Dirt Lover, Belle Creme, Kris Lloyd – Artisan Blend, Mt. Mazama Cheddar, Morgan, LaClare Farms Raw Goats Milk Cheddar, Loma Alta, LaClare Farms Martone, LaClare Farms Evalon With Cummin, Cilentano ai fichi, Ricotta di Bufala, Edith, Oma, Miette, Medallion, Sartori Classic Cheese Fontina, Mouco Camembert, Moonlight Chaource, Shepsog, Sbronzo, Goat Curd, Sartori Reserve SarVecchio Parmesan, LaClare Farms Cheddar, Classico Riserva, I’ Blu, Maffra Aged Rinded Cheddar, Melange Brie, Fiery Rebel, Teneri, Original Havarti, Pepato, Leonora, Mango Rebel, Hay Flower Rebel, San Andreas, Pecorino Nero, Table Rock, Dorset, Cacioradicchio, Yarra Valley Persian Feta, Paesanella Burrata, Campi, Wimer Winter, Seater’s Orkney, Sartori Reserve Basil & Olive Oil Asiago, Cubetto, Green Hill, Beach Box Brie, Paesanella Buffalo Mozzarella, Paesanella Buffalo Ricotta, Le Conquerant Demi Pont L’eveque, Kinsman Ridge, Manon, Mandolin, Nut Rebel, Pecorino Fiordaliso, I’ Serbo, Tuscan Blend, Sartori Reserve Extra Aged Fontina, Giuntella, Cacio De Roma, Bermondsey Hard Pressed, Sartori Reserve Raspberry BellaVitano, Cave Rebel, Sartori Classic Cheese Parmesan, Brie Coco, Woolly Rind, Tunworth, Casatica, Fitness Rebel, Chimney Rock, Maffra Mature Cheddar, Re di Pecora Erborinato al Tè Nero, St. Tola Hard Cheese, Lindy Hop, Cremet, Beehive Fresh, Sartori Classic Cheese Asiago, Fontina, Pecorino allo Zafferano, Sharpham Rustic, Fermiere, Fior Di Latte, Brie d’Alexis, Sharpham Rustic Chive & Garlic, Martha’s Heat, Sartori Classic Cheese Romano, Regal Blend, Anster, Red Wine Rebel, Impromptu, Rupert, Pawlet, Keltic Gold, DriftWood, Duet, Pecorino Ginepero, Green Dirt Farm Fresh Spicy Chilis, Sharpham Savour, Keens Cheddar, Camembert de Portneuf, Elk Mountain, Applewood Smoked Chevre, Evans Creek Greek, Crescenza di Bufala, Sharpham Elmhirst, Romaniae Terrae Pecorino allo Zafferano, Pecorino Con Caglio Vegetale, Weybridge, Paprika Rebel, Pecorino Romagnolo, Baronerosso di Capri, Lo Sburrato, Green Dirt Farm Fresh Nettle, Sartori Reserve Extra-Aged Asiago, Brown’s Gulch, Goat Fromage Blanc, Blu ‘61, Sartori Limited Edition Family Heirloom BellaVitano, Kirkham’s Lancshire, Farm House ClothBound Cheddar, Briscola, Barely Buzzed, Paesanella Fresh Ricotta, Vigneron, Paesanella Caciotta, Nocturne, Green Dirt Farm Fresh Garlic & Peppercorn, Farmhouse Gouda, Paensanella Bocconcin, Squaquerone di Bufala, Pecorino Pera, L’Amuse Signature Gouda, Royal Rebel, Pacific Rock, Le Wayreumont, Oasis, Mt Tam, Pecorino Nel Granaio, Maffra Dargo Walnut, Sicilian Blend, Kabritt, Hillis Peak, Wild Garlic Rebel, Devil’s Gulch, Melange, Inverness, Mettowee, Harvest, Pecorino al Pepe, Forest Rebel, Pecorino Camomilla, Crotton, Paesanella Dry Ricotta, Red Hawk, Mossfield Organic, I’ Rugoso, Salsa Asiago, Traditional Halloumi, Montchevre Goat Cheese Log, Maffra Wensleydale, Maffra Peppercorn Cheddar, Woodside Chevre, Picolo, Pecorino a Latte Crudo, Monteo, Pecorino Ortica, Castle Blue, Takelma, LaClare Farms Chandoka, Pecorino alla Canapa, Pepper Rebel, Aphrodite Haloumi, Vesuvius, Mountain Rebel, Peppercorn Gouda, Rubi, Etzy Ketzy, Bleu Benedictin, Largo, Pecorino Querciaiola, Green Dirt Farm Fresh Plain, Desert Red Feta, Maffra Sage Derby, St.Tola Log, Konig Ludwig Beercheese, Saltbush Chevre, Gran Bu, Pastoral, Green Dirt Farm Fresh Rosemary, Pecorino Boccondilatte, St. Jude, Yarra Valley Cardi, Bothwell Black Truffle Cheddar, Moringhello, Pecorino Barba Del Passatore, Five Countries, St. Tol Crottin, Camembert des Camarades, Mountain Herbs Rebel, Pecorino Papavero, Paesanella Cherry Bocconcin, Tapas, St. Tola Ash Log, Organic Carrot, Maffra Cheshire, Sartori Limited Edition Cannella BellaVitano, Pecorino Gran Riserva Del Passatore, Pecorino Gelsomino, Brie de Portneuf Double Cream, Organic Walnut, Country Morning, Carr Valley Glacier Wildfire Blue, Organic Mango, La Couronne – Fort Aged Comte, Big John’s Cajun, Sartori Reserve Cheese Mediterranean Fontina, Pleasant Creek, Boivin Extra aged Cheddar, Rondo, Maffra Red Leicester, Van Gogh Edam, McLaren, Organic Creamy Emmental, Pianoforte, Sartori Limited Edition Family Heirloom Parmesan, Woodside Capricorn, Metronome, Pecorino dei monaci, Le Marquis Chevre, Monet, Organic Mountain, 3-Cheese Italian Blend, Pecorino Dei Malatesta Sotto Cenere, Brie de Portneuf, Le Conquerant Camembert, St. Tola Cranberry, Pecorino di Talamello, Brise du Matin, Paesanella Fresco, Smoked Fior Di Latte, Fresh Fior Di Latte, La Pyramide, Yarra Valley Vintage Savourine, Pecorino di Sogliano, Paesanella Caciotta with Rocket & Chilli, Caciobarricato, Point Reyes Toma, Pecorino Erica, Farmer, Pecorino Foglie Noci, Meredith Goat Cheese in Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Pecorino di Vigna, Organic Elderflower, Pecorino dei Malatesta al Sangiovese, Pompeii, La Bonaparte, Pecorino Pepato Mitica Aged, Salemville Amish Blue, Big Woods Blue, Dolomitico, St. Pat, Pierce Pt. Peau Rouge, St. Tola Greek Style, Organic Pepper, Bleu L’Ermite, Organic Mountain Climber, Bufala Soldier, Basajo, Yarra Valley Yering, Organic Chili, Fox Hill Gouda, Organic Farm, Boivin Medium Cheddar, Organic Flower Meadow, Comox Brie, Salemville Amish Gorgonzola, Ubriaco di Raboso, Cendre des Pres, Organic Fitness, Miss Muffet, Aspen Ash, Caciobirraio, Organic Wild Garlic, Criffel, Château de Versailles, Boivin Marbled Cheddar, Point Reyes Original Blue, Fou du roy, Salemville Smokehaus Blue, Yarra Valley Juno, Yarra Valley Le Jack, Carnia Altobut, Bourdin Goat Log, Mountain Goat, Brillo di Treviso, Goat Gouda, Okanagan Double Cream Camembert, Caprano, Chelsea BlueIsland Bries, Saint-Honore, Morangie Brie, Ubriaco di Zibibbo, Caprese di Bufala, Yarra Valley White Saourine, Boulder Chevre, Yarra Valley Bulls Eye, Bleubry, Gorgonzola Piccante DOP, Pizy, Don Olivo, Yarra Valley Gentle Goat, Yarra Valley Black Savourine, Le Cendrillon, Cornish Smuggler, Chile Jack, Horizon, L’Empereur, Meredith Ashed Pyramids, Chevre des Neiges, Noyan, Comox Camembert, Wall Street Gold, Paillot de Chèvre, Cambus o’May, Toma Blu Alle Erbe, St-Fidele Swiss, Mirabo Brie with Walnut, Ubriaco di Nero D’avola, Conciato Al Pepe, Fox Hill Parmesan, Little Qualicum Raclette, Stracchinata, Yarra Valley Saffey, Sartori Reserve Dolcina Gorgonzola, Natural Smoked Van Gogh Gouda, Le Duc Vacherin, Goat Cheddar, Buttercup, Trelawny, Meredith Chevre Plain, Forme’, La Rumeur, Friesago, TeaHive, Comtomme, Provolone Mandarino Gran Riserva, Herbes de Provence Chèvre, Bucheret, Ships Wheel Brie, Le Chevrot, Cherokee Rose, Snowdrop, Meredith Chevre Ash, Cornish Crumbly, California Crottin, St Tola Divine, Caronzola, Speziato, Saanen Milk, Elberton Blue, SeaHive, Caprarica, Haystack Mountain Feta, Fragolone, Capriny, Don Carlo, Grand Cru Surchoix, Processed Smoked Gouda, Haystack Peak, Pied-de-vent, Georgia Clothbound Cheddar, Shepherd’s Hope, Carlina, La Sauvagine, Moody Blue, Meredith Chevre Dill, Perlagrigia Sotto Cenere, Raw Milk Feta, Fontiago, Morlacco, Red Cloud, Chevre en Marinade, Meteorite, Buttermilk Gorgonzola, Cracked Pepper Chevre, Haystack Mountain Camembert, Hidden Falls, Sartori Limited Edition Extra-Aged Goat, Kashar, Dill & Garlic Chevre, Anniversary Ale Cheddar, Twig Farm Square Cheese, Morcella, Brimstone, Buttermilk Blue, Fortsonia, Halleck Creek, Roth Raclette, Holey Cow, Grand Cru Reserve, Sunlight, Smokey Mountain Blue, Queso de Mano, P’tit Basque, La Castella, West Country Farmhouse Mature Cheddar, Twig Farm Washed Ring Wheel, Sandy Creek, Twig Farm Goat Tomme, Vermont Herdsman, Providence, Old Goat, Goat Milk Cheddars, L’Etoile de St-Raymond, Dore-Mi, Little Dragon, Lindale, MezzaLuna Fontina, Latteria San Biagio, Petite Swiss, Fresh Chevre, Le Reflet de Portneuf, La Sauvagine Reserve, Little Napoleon, Rofumo, Le St-Raymond, Twig Farm Mixed Drum, Le Double Joie, Old Burford, Seascape, Dumpling, Suffolk Punch, Twig Farm Crawford, Bridgewater, GranQueso Reserve, Chapman’s Pasture, Buttermilk Blue Affinee, Assa, Big Rock Blue, GranQueso Original, Natural Chevre, Tavoliere, Humble Herdsman, Millstone, Great Lakes Cheshire, Bianca, The Manchester, Montsalvat, Formagella, Pimento, Shepherd’s Crook, Nicasio Square, Liptuaer, Odysseus Marinated Feta, Ringwell, ReginaBlu, Snow Camp, Tieton Halloumi, Little Ypsi, CreMonte, Foggy Morning, Nicasio Reserve, Sharon Hollow Garlic & Chive, Detroit Street Brick, CreNoble, Legacy, Doublet, San Geronimo, Muddlewell, Tango, Venus, New Moon, Reverie, Basket Molded Ricotta, Rheba, Kenne, Phoebe, Bad Axe, Ascutney Mountain, Sonnet, Sharp Cheddar, Four Corners, Cirrus, Caveman Blue, L’Amuse Brabander Goat Gouda, Trufflestack, Classic Blue Log, Fromage Blanc, Cana de Cabra, Jalapeno Cheddar, Fromage Blanc w/ Truffle, Prix de Diana, Mahon, Habanero Cheddar, Campfire, Chocolate Stout Cheddar, Seastack, Smokey Touvelle, Ashley, Opus 42, Red Alder, Brutal Blue, Stella Fontina, Cacow Belle, TouVelle Original, Fiscalini Bandaged Cheddar, Stella Feta, Stella Fontina, Smokey Oregon Blue, Oregon Blue Cheese, Capricious, Cremont, Coupole, Oregonzola, Cheddar LiDiDa Lavender, Stella Goat, Echo Mountain Blue, Off Kilter, Pistol Point Cheddar, Rosemary Medium Asiago, Stella Asiago, Mozzarellissima, Truffello, Bellwether Farms Crescenza, Hopyard Cheddar, Stella Reduced Fat Blue, Fresh Crottin, Redwood Hill Goat Cheddar, Stella Smoked Blue, Capriago, Stella Swiss, Stella Italian Sharp, ColoRogue, Stella Blue, Morimoto Soba Ale Cheddar, Stella Kasseri, Bella Lodi, Stella Mediterranean Parmesan, Stella Black Pepper Romano, PepBert, Hook’s 5-Year Cheddar, Stella Parmesan & Roman Blend, Stella Parmesan, Stella Gorgonzola, MitiCana de Oveja, Mouco Camembert, Red Buddy, Edam, Fat Bottom Girl, Mont St-Benoit, Finca Pascualete Mini Torta, Cave Aged Marisa, Istara Kaikou, Crotonese, Latteria Navel, Baskeriu, Australian Alps Cheese, Käse Mit Schweizer Trüffeln, Gloucester Goat, Shtayburne Farm Cheddar, Waupoos Lizzie, Malvarosa, Burwood Bole, Grated Kefir Cheese, Kefir Tomato-Garlic, Smokey Jalapeno, Tarentaise, Tuada, Sunset Bay, Sun Dried Tomato and Basil Cashew Cheese, Stoney Cross, Raw Brie Style Cashew Cheese, Holiday Brie, Amarelo da Beira Baixa, Highway 1, Kefir Italian Pasta Cheese, Sao Jorge, Kefir Salad, Funky Bleats, Old Winchester, Brebirousse d’Argental, Coastal Cheddar, Valentine, Vaquero Blue, Kefir Wine Companion, Murazzano DOP, Organic MooVache, Organic Beer-Brined Moochego, Organic Gouda, Flory’s Truckle Cheddar, Cremig Extra Wurzig, Bergkäse Aus Dem Schweiser Jura, Lake District Extra Mature Cheddar, President Fresh Goat Cheese, Lake District Mature Cheddar, Majorero, Affineur Walo Rotwein Sennechas, Liburnski Sir, Bent River, Almnas Tegel, Brebis d’Azure, Hannah, Prairie Rose, Fuzzy Udder Creamery’s Tomme, Nocciolo, Cow’s Milk Gouda, Fuzzy Udder Gouda, Fuzzy Udder Washed Rind, Sheep Gouda, Istara Chistou, Vashe Sante, Isle of Man Mild Colored Cheddar, Mladi Trapist, Heidi Aged Cheese, Tezacki Sir Extra Mature, Old Drovers Road, Queijo do Pico, Baserri, Don Bernardo Manchego, Dinarski Sir, Cheddar w/ Red Wine, Fresh Hand-Stretched Mozzarella, Flagship Block, Davidstow 3 Year Reserve Special Vintage, Butternut, Bavaria blu, Buff Blue, Davidstow Mature Cheddar, Magna, Gracie Grey, Vera, Oak Smoked Cheddar, Himmelsraften, Toma di campo, Bianco, Bonifaz, Bettine Grand Cru, Binnorie Marinated Fetta, Bluebell Falls Cygnus, Kummin, Himmelsraften Extra, Essex Commte, Blenda, Iris, Drommen, Tegan, Clonmore, Chocolate Lab, Aged Cashew & Dulse Cheese, Capri Blue, Aged Cashew Nut Cheese, Blissful Blocks, Aged Cashew & Brazil Nut Cheese, Cheddar w/ Irish Porter, Tezacki Sir, Tarago River Jensen’s Red, Capra al Fieno, Lo Speziato, Ubriaco all’Amarone, Mountaineer, Oro Italiano, Casu Marzu, Capra al Pepe, Saporito, Batzos, Barricato al Pepe, Nettles Gone Wild, Pembrokeshire Extra Mature Cheddar, Lyburn’s Winchester, Aged Cashew Nut & Kale Cheese, Lynburn Lightly Oak Smoked, Abbaye de Timadeuc, Strawberry Moon, Bijou, Pembrokeshire Mature Cheddar, Sternschnuppe, Striegistaler Zwerge Camembert, Beaufort, Tezacki Iz Mosta, Aged Cashew & Blue Green Algae Cheese, Aged Cashew & Hemp Seed Cheese, Tezacki Iz Maslinove, Komine, Cashew Nut Cream Cheese, Macadamia Nut Cheese, Lyburn Garlic and Nettle, Cranborne, Orkney Medium Colored Cheddar, Ubriaco Rosso, Fellowship Too, Little Colonel, Valbreso Feta, Roccia del Piave, Daphne’s Alpine Classic, Triple Creme Brie, Muffato, Up in Smoke, St Gall, Duck Isles Stone, Veigadarte, Vampire Slayer, Old Harry, Basils Original Rauchkase, Dorset White, Tilly Whim, TregonWell, Vitoria, Bootlegger, Condio, Knockdrinna Gold, Yeo Lake, Knockdrinna Meadow, Barden Blue, Half-Moon Bay, Hand Rolled Chevre Logs, Isabirra, Kefir Blue, Zigljen Iz Extra Mature, Zartschmelzend, Kräftig Würzig Rahm-Hartkäse, Sarro de Cabra, Brewer’s Gold, Isle of Man Mild Cheddar, Isle of Man Cracked Pepper, Formaggio di Grotta, Cream Cheesy Bliss, Belletoile, Alpicreme, Le Mountier, Waldo Smog, Blissful Toppings, Shredded Bliss, Slices of Bliss, Carrowholly, Goat Nevat, Goat Ricotta, Ubriaco alla Birra, St. Mang Original Allgauer Limburger, Amou, Queso de Afuega’l pitu, President Camembert, President Madrigal, President Light Brie, Pecorino nel fieno, Lunetta, Lacey Grey, Lavis Town, Bergues, Cayuga Blue, Minas Cheese, Driftless, Bohemian Blue, Hidden Springs Farmstead Feta, Blue Yonder, Tomma di vacca alle vinacce, Beaumont, Queijo do serra, Rustico Red Pepper, Isle of Man Mature Cheddar, Walnut Cheddar, Wrangeback Sweden, Barberey, Vento d’Estate, Original Illertaler, Vermont Ayr, Montagnolo, Baluchon, Baita Friuli, Veneto, Aged British Cheddar, Ewelicious Blue, Bettine Blue, Amsterdammer, Colony Cheese, Flashback Goat Discs, Laura Chenel Taupiniere, Laura Chenel Tome, Ellington, Francis, Lyburn Gold, Blue, Benedictine, Marin French Triple Creme, Amalthee, Dragon’s Breath Blue, Amablu Blue Cheese, Cameo, Di.Vino, Blythedale Camembert, Dorblu, Mezzo Secco, Marco Polo, Freya’s Wheel, Blu Della Casera, Kefir Peppercorn Cheese, Lemon Fetish, Benedictine, Barrel Aged Feta, Grayson, Gran Levante, Coalho, Checkerboard Cheddar, Bassigny au porto, Raw Milk Goat Feta, Cape Vessey, El Trigal Manchego, Rustico Black Pepper, Wicklow Blue, Ubriaco al Prosecco, Paniola, Dante, Organic Cheddar, Organic Feta, Rougette Bavarian Red, Operetta, Hay Loft, Purple’s a Must, Counting Sheep…and Goats…, San Simon DOP, FITAKI White Cheese, Aradalen, Dura, Champignon de Luxe Garlic, Rougette Grill Meister, Caprice Stickney Hill Chevre, Orkney Mature Cheddar, Cap Cressey, Champignon Mushroom, Alpine-Style, Champignon de Luxe Pepper, Tomme, Mi-Ewe, Saint Rose, President Fat Free Feta, Ridgeline, Rosso de lago, Scallion Onion Cheddar, Bel Ceillo, Carabiner, Blue Lupine, Daphne’s Goat Gouda, Dinarski Sir Iz Maslinove Komine, Zigljen Iz Mosta, Daphne’s Aged Goat Cheese, Sea Change, Melinda Mae, Roasted Garlic Cheddar, Muranda Blue, Madrona, Gotcha Gouda, Melville, Dilly Girl, Fiesta Cheddar, Blue Earth, Island Brebis, Baby Brie, Connemara, Nocciolino, Hannah Reserve, Dinarski Is Mosta, Primo Fresca, Holzhofer Latte Crudo, Siltcoos, Shaker Blue, Grasso d’alpe Monscera, Shepherdista Crush, Pack Square, Ewe’s Blue, Cambozola, Grand Noir, Lost Lake, Ocooch Mountain, Alpe di Frabosa, Pecorino Toscano DOP, Alta Badia, Petida, Good Thunder, Pallone di Gravina, President Brie, Canastra Cheese, Black Betty, Shtayburne Farm Monterey Jack, Wyfe of Bath, Prairie Breeze Cheddar, Rotwein Bargler, Extra-Wurzig, Cressey Blu, Olomoucke Tvaruzky, Garlic and Fine Herbs Cashew Cheese, Moose.

Late Correction: It was from some user named Fireman Sam.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/debate-user-null-if-america-has-cheese-meat-and-bread.174992/#post-17084696

 

[Kan]

Not Like Us, the official music video.

Lyrics:
(Prelude)
(Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…)
I am
Reincarnated
I was stargazing
Life goes on
Honey all my babies (gyah, gyah)

Woke up, lookin’ for the broccoli
Hot key, keep a horn on me,
That Kamasi
IP Ownership
The blue print is by me
Mister get off
I get off at my feet

(Intro)
(Tommy The Clown)
What’s the password?
(Kendrick Lamar)
I see dead people.

(Tommy The Clown)
You late.

(Mustard on the beat, ho)
(Back to Kendrick Lamar)
(Verse 1)
Ayy, Mustard on the beat, ho
Deebo, any rap nigga, he a free throw
Man down, call an amberlamps, tell him, "Breathe, bro"
Nail a nigga to the cross, he walk around like Teezo
What's up with these jabroni-ass niggas tryna see Compton?
The industry can hate me, fuck 'em all and they mama
How many opps you really got? I mean, it's too many options
I'm finna pass on this body, I'm John Stockton
Beat your ass and hide the Bible if God watchin'
Sometimes you gotta pop out and show niggas
Certified boogeyman, I'm the one that up the score with 'em
Walk him down, whole time I know he got some ho in him
Pole on him, extort shit, bully, Death Row on him
Say, Drake, I hear you like 'em young
You better not ever go to cell block one
To any bitch that talk to him and they in love
Just make sure you hide your lil' sister from him
They tell me Chubbs the only one that get your hand-me-downs
And PARTY at the party, playin' with his nose now
And Baka got a weird case, why is he around?
Certified Lover Boy? Certified pedophiles
Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, Dot, fuck 'em up
Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, I'ma do my stuff
Why you trollin' like a bitch? Ain't you tired?
Tryna strike a chord and it's probably A-Minor

(Chorus)
They not like us, they not like us, they not like us
They not like us, they not like us, they not like us

(Verse 2)
You think the Bay gon' let you disrespect Pac, nigga?
I think that Oakland show gon' be your last stop, nigga
Did Cole foul, I don't know why you still pretendin'
What is the owl? Bird niggas and bird bitches, go
The audience not dumb
Shape the stories how you want
Hey, Drake, they're not slow
Rabbit hole is still deep, I can go further, I promise
Ain't that somethin'? B-Rad stands for bitch
And you Malibu most wanted
Ain't no law, boy, you ballboy, fetch Gatorade or somethin'
Since 2009, I had this bitch jumpin'
You niggas'll get a wedgie, be flipped over your boxers
What OVO for? The "Other Vaginal Option"? Pussy
Nigga better straighten they posture, got famous all up in Compton
Might write this for the docket, tell the pop star, "Quit hidin'"
Fuck a caption, want action, no accident, and I'm hands-on
He fuck around, get polished
Fucked on Wayne girl while he was in jail, that's connivin'
Then get his face tatted like a bitch apologizin'
I'm glad DeRoz' came home, y'all didn't deserve him neither
From Alondra down to Central, nigga better not speak on Serena
And your homeboy need subpoena, that predator move in flocks
That name gotta be registered and placed on neighborhood watch
I lean on you niggas like another line of Wock'
Yeah, it's all eyes on me, and I'ma send it up to Pac, ayy
Put the wrong label on me, I'ma get 'em dropped, ayy
Sweet Chin Music and I won't pass the aux, ayy
How many stocks do I really have in stock? Ayy
One, two, three, four, five, plus five, ayy
Devil is a lie, he a 69 God, ayy
Freaky-ass niggas need to stay they ass inside, ayy
Roll they ass up like a fresh pack of 'Za, ayy
City is back up, it's a must, we outside, ayy

(Chorus)
They not like us, they not like us, they not like us
They not like us, they not like us, they not like us

(Verse 3)
Once upon a time, all of us was in chains
Homie still doubled down callin' us some slaves
Atlanta was the Mecca, buildin' railroads and trains
Bear with me for a second, let me put y'all on game
The settlers was usin' town folk to make 'em richer
Fast-forward, 2024, you got the same agenda
You run to Atlanta when you need a check balance
Let me break it down for you, this the real nigga challenge
You called Future when you didn't see the club (ayy, what?)
Lil Baby helped you get your lingo up (what?)
21 gave you false street cred
Thug made you feel like you a slime in your head (ayy, what?)
Quavo said you can be from Northside (what?)
2 Chainz say you good, but he lied
You run to Atlanta when you need a few dollars
No, you not a colleague, you a fuckin' colonizer
The family matter and the truth of the matter
It was God's plan to show y'all the liar

(Bridge)
Mm
Mhm
He a fan, he a fan, he a fan (mm)
He a fan, he a fan, he a
Freaky-ass nigga, he a 69 God
Freaky-ass nigga, he a 69 God
Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life
Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life
Freaky-ass nigga, he a 69 God
Freaky-ass nigga, he a 69 God
Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life
Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life
Let me hear you say, "OV-ho" (OV-ho)
Say, "OV-ho" (OV-ho)
Then step this way, step that way
Then step this way, step that way

(Outro)
Are you my friend?
Are we locked in?
Then step this way, step that way
Then step this way, step that way

(Epilogue)
(Crowd)
Are you my friend?
Are we locked in?
Then step this way, step that way
Then step this way, step that way

(Man on loudspeaker)
Now, ya’ll wanna do it again?
(Crowd)
Yeah!
(Man on loudspeaker)
Oh, we gotta do one thing.
Back up.

 

[KampungBoy]

When I turned 18 I resolved to lose weight and part of that was going to the gym literally every day. I forced myself to go for 2 months straight because I was told that doing something for 2 months forms a habit. I never enjoyed it and so I stopped.

Every time I've ever succeeded at losing weight (lowest was ~185) was from diet combining alternate day fasting, counted calories, doing keto, with no exercise besides moderate city walking. At my best, I ate 600 calories on off days and 1800 on on days and I counted everything. My only meal on off days was a piece of fish and I'd measure out a tablespoon of wasabi mayo for it. I also switched from soda to zero calorie arizona tea with ginseng - it's the one with the asian lady on it. That's basically it. It impacted every facet of my life, I did not feel good half the time, I had trouble concentrating on work, and it ended the nanosecond the relationship I was dieting for ended. Literally the day that the relationship ended I went out and got fried chicken. I never again fit into the jacket I bought myself at my lowest.

I realize to the contingent of men obsessed with physical fitness, there is only one righteous path and everything else is an excuse. I don't care. I don't do things I don't enjoy. You cannot compel me to do something I don't want to do. I get everything I want with my current lifestyle. If I didn't, I would do something else.

Besides general longevity and health, the only reason I can think of to lose weight is that people who are not overweight are treated better in general. By everyone. Men and women. We are internally biased against overweight people because it is a physical display of deliberate choice to be less healthy than possible. So theoretically if I ever wanted to or had to do appearances, be it in court or for interviews, I would simply have more base charisma by not being overweight. The issue with this as a motivating factor is (1) I have absolutely no intention to permanently sacrifice my privacy for temporary gain, and (2) by the time these things would be on the horizon, it would be too late to actually lose weight anyways. So it's not really that persuasive for motivation.

 

[Kan]

When I turned 18 I resolved to lose weight and part of that was going to the gym literally every day. I forced myself to go for 2 months straight because I was told that doing something for 2 months forms a habit. I never enjoyed it and so I stopped.

Every time I've ever succeeded at losing weight (lowest was ~185) was from diet combining alternate day fasting, counted calories, doing keto, with no exercise besides moderate city walking. At my best, I ate 600 calories on off days and 1800 on on days and I counted everything. My only meal on off days was a piece of fish and I'd measure out a tablespoon of wasabi mayo for it. I also switched from soda to zero calorie arizona tea with ginseng - it's the one with the asian lady on it. That's basically it. It impacted every facet of my life, I did not feel good half the time, I had trouble concentrating on work, and it ended the nanosecond the relationship I was dieting for ended. Literally the day that the relationship ended I went out and got fried chicken. I never again fit into the jacket I bought myself at my lowest.

I realize to the contingent of men obsessed with physical fitness, there is only one righteous path and everything else is an excuse. I don't care. I don't do things I don't enjoy. You cannot compel me to do something I don't want to do. I get everything I want with my current lifestyle. If I didn't, I would do something else.

Besides general longevity and health, the only reason I can think of to lose weight is that people who are not overweight are treated better in general. By everyone. Men and women. We are internally biased against overweight people because it is a physical display of deliberate choice to be less healthy than possible. So theoretically if I ever wanted to or had to do appearances, be it in court or for interviews, I would simply have more base charisma by not being overweight. The issue with this as a motivating factor is (1) I have absolutely no intention to permanently sacrifice my privacy for temporary gain, and (2) by the time these things would be on the horizon, it would be too late to actually lose weight anyways. So it's not really that persuasive for motivation.

View attachment 60779View attachment 60780

The words “Joshua Connor Moon” and “average” or “thin” do not go together.

 

[Crimson Fucker]

Unless the word not comes before them. Like Joshua Connor Moon is not thin or an average retard, he is advanced retarded and fat.

 

[Kan]

Fair assessment.

 

[Kan]

(Time for the classic:)
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 

[Kan]

(A memetically autistic copypasta I came up with, taking a crapton of inspiration from Saints Row 2’s second Revelation cutscene (This isn’t a really a jab at Ken or even Null, this is just for shitpost purposes):)

Onion Julius: Just like old times, posta.
Posting Playa: Yeah…
*Playa pulls out the Report button and shoots Julius in the profile, causing him to lose his thread*

Onion Julius: Jesus, I thought we were past this...
Posting Playa: Not by a fuckin' long shot.
Onion Julius: Don't you get it? The Onion Farmers didn't solve a goddamn thing. Lolcows were still being made, innocent people were still getting doxxed...all we did was turn into Kiwi Farmers that wore purple...
Posting Playa: Jesus Christ, you sound like a pussy...
Onion Julius: I sound like someone who's not a hypocrite.
Posting Playa: You wanna be the archiver with a a false conscience? Fine... warp your flags and write a manifesto like Null, but you never shoulda came after me...
Onion Julius: You tellin’ me if I woulda asked you to leave the site you would have said yes?
Posting Playa: Fuck no, this is my site.
Onion Julius: Jesus, you haven't learned a goddamn thing.
Posting Playa: Wrong. I've learned that being more aware is better than bein’ a bitch who keeps his ass shut and believes what he's fed. Your time’s over, old man.
Onion Julius: What's happened to you?
Posting Playa: I woke up.
Onion Julius: You owe me playa, if it weren't for me you woulda remained banned on a lolcow site.
Posting Playa: If it weren't for you I wouldn't have been in a goddamn massive slapfight!
Onion Julius: Then I guess that makes us even...

*Playa successfully gets Julius reprimanded, silencing him and getting him to quit.*

Playa: Not really.