Here is to another day of no reply, three days of silence. No action just a long dreadful wait. Depression on my body lurks. The interest in her remains the same. Wondering, why? A wait game I always have to play. Yesterday, many times I checked. Yelling out loud that women are so complicated. Memories of how past ones tried to get over on me. Then how they attack Rose because of her ways. Innocence is all that she is. Some nights in bed I wished that I was her first lover. Too late now. A ship that has sailed away. Expressing my lonely days provokes insults without warning. Life has been unfair. You love. Bring as patch of flowers to the concrete, they just die. Porn addiction has altered my sexuality. Bondage & spontaneous anal is what comes into imagination. A little boy that used to laugh in a breeze of the ocean has withered away. Sometimes when a girl is in my vision, sexual acts arise in my fragile world. When I get home after that arousal, I masturbate. Lately, girls on the internet have been mean to me. I just get told to kill myself. Fear, resentment, longing for something lost is all that I am now.
Savannah was once a Rose herself. Yes, a flower and an innocent young girl. When she insults me, I feel her anger. Wrath is always my rebuke. Savannah was an egg in my clutch. In my room of a quiet night, I wonder why we became enemies. In the end we both were in the wrong. We became obsessed with Rose. Savannah was a troubled person and still is. So was another past lover of mine with blue eyes and silk skin. So was the one that told me eight days in of friendship, that there were no emotions involved. This girl though. She has a chance. I have another chance., and if she embraces me as I have her, then I will welcome her and perhaps she will befriend Rose too.