He'll jump in pizza sauce to protect himself from anybody that's goin ham on his ass
Joshua is fat because he consumes copious amounts of pizza and Coke Zero while sitting in front of his computer all day. The most physical activity he gets is walking to the front door to collect his pizza and Coke Zero deliveries.
Camouflage ain't tacticool. Besides, he's fighting trannies not jumping in Fallujah.