"I curse those who harassed me on KiwiFarms to have eternal conflict with eachother. It's going to happen." - Alex Hogendorp
WARNING: The following thread contains: Spergouts, Impatience, Grudges, Slapfights, Petty drama, Sock accounts, & 19 year old BPD women.
Reader Discretion Is Advised.
For those of you who don’t know me, I was once a very active participant in the Alex Hogendorp thread on Kiwi Farms, until I got banned, and some people there are really not big fans of me. Some of that was my fault. Some of it wasn’t. Either way, that's the shit I am in right now.
This thread isn’t a vent post. It’s a recounting of what happened, what led to my reputation nosediving, my talent for making people mad at me, and why some people in that thread still don't like me. If you’re expecting me to go on some kind of self-pity tour, i'm not. I’ll own up to my mistakes, but I’ll also be talking about the sheer pettiness of some of my critics.
Consider this a case study in how, on a website dedicated to cataloging the bad behavior of others, you can suddenly find yourself on the other side over a handful of posts. And, of course, how a 19-year-old retard with BPD somehow played a role in all of this.
Now, let’s start with...
Incident #1: The OP Debacle.
One of the biggest reasons why people don't like me is for a incident I’ll call The OP Debacle, where I let my frustration get the better of me and publicly called out the people responsible for finishing the Alex thread’s opening post (OP). Looking back, I can admit I should have definitely not have done this, or I should have just DM'd them talking about it. But at the time, it felt like things were just dragging on for no good reason.It started when someone declared the thread “complete” when the thread was moved out of Prospering Grounds, despite multiple unfinished sections and placeholders. This didn't sit right with me, and I didn't want his article to remain like that forever because they were told by others who didn't seem to know better. From my perspective, it seemed that the writing team was spending more time in the Zoey thread, than actually finishing the thread that they were making. So, I just spoke my mind:
That, unsurprisingly, didn’t go over well. The responses were immediate:
At the time, I doubled down. I pointed out that adding new usernames and filling in missing sections would take two minutes, not days or weeks. I pushed back against the idea that real life was stopping them when they had all the time in the world to post in other threads all day long. And, yeah, I got snarky about it.But in hindsight, I should have handled it differently. I was right that the OP needed work, but I was too aggressive in how I approached it. If I had just been a little more patient, or worded things more diplomatically, I probably wouldn’t have alienated people the way I did.
Instead, my reputation took a hit. People started seeing me as “that guy who sperged about the OP,” and it became one of the first things brought up anytime my name was mentioned. Never mind that I contributed a ton of actual info to the thread, none of that mattered anymore.
This was only the first of several incidents that led to my reputation taking a hit in that community. And believe me, it only got messier from here.
Incident #2: The Zoey Incident
Incident #2: The Zoey IncidentThis one was a doozy, and the worst thing about this is it happened only a few days after the previous incident. At the time, the Zoey thread was taking a strange turn. Suddenly, a lot of regulars in the thread began posting more positively about Zoey, with some even changing their profile pictures to match hers for a week after she cleaned her bathtub. It seemed like people were actively supporting her, even making fun of anyone who tried to criticize or "simp" for her.
At first, I thought it was just some weird phase, but it started to feel like whiteknighting, a big no-no on the site. There was an actual rule that stated:
So, I responded:
Clearly, that didn't go over well with the regulars in the thread. Immediately, I got hit with another barrage of replies, likr “You’re just mad because you’re a newfag trying to tell us how to run our thread,” and “You’re being autistic about this, calm down.”
At that point, I felt like I had to stand my ground. I posted the rule about whiteknighting to point that they were technically breaking the rules, and replied to another aggressively. It was all very abrasive, which led to a lot of people getting defensive.
Now, as I look back, I realize that there was no reason I should have cared about this, I could have maintained a better reputation if I just ignored it.
Incident #3: The Ban Hammer
Incident #3: The Ban HammerOn the same day, I got hit with a completely unrelated ban from Josh Moon himself, and at the time, it felt like the final nail in the coffin. The ban was for a totally different issue, a matter I didn’t even realize was an issue at the time.
After I was banned, I didn’t just sit back and take it. I couldn’t, especially when I still had things I wanted to contribute to the threads I had been so active in. Alex's thread was still going strong, and I knew there were points that needed to be made. So, I tried to sneak back in:
I created a sock account, thinking I could quietly contribute. I wasn’t trying to hide everything, but rather to sneak past the ban and still participate in the conversation. I wanted to keep helping with the thread, to add value.
But of course, it didn’t work. As much I didn't really care enough to mask myself that much, I still made it too obvious who I was. I didn’t exactly go to extreme lengths to mask who I was, honestly, I didn’t care enough to be super careful. I wasn’t trying to be deceptive or malicious, I just wanted to continue contributing where I thought I could.
And then a person by the name of Bay Kemal, who was extremely salty that I called him dumb for thinking I was trying too hard to hide, decided to fail-
Post
He posted a link to my DeviantArt account that I used to watch Alex with, which I had openly said was mine multiple times. He "outed" my other sock which I also said was explicitly mine, he was so desperate to get anything over me that the only thing he had was "H-he made a sock!" as if that even mattered. It didn't even fit the original point of the thread of pointing out kiwi's who ignored the warning when they registered of having a unique username.
I got more aggressive and more vocal in defending my stance on Zoey and the way things had happened. I just labeled the whole thing as “stupid” and even called it a fail-dox.
Looking back, I can see how my reaction was over the top.
I went from someone trying to contribute to a thread to someone who was actively clashing with the regulars. The more I tried to force my voice into the conversation, the more it seemed like I was making things worse for myself. And yet, I couldn’t stop myself from continuing down that path.
Incident #4 - Death By A 1000 Socks
Incident #4 - Death By A 1000 Socks
There’s not much to say here, I was determined to get back in, so I resorted to making more sock accounts. One was just to respond to people who had commented on my profile offering advice. That account didn’t last long before it was banned. The other was more successful, I contributed to the Alex thread again for a little bit.That effort lasted longer than usual, but I couldn’t resist stirring the pot. I ended up pissing off the Zoey thread regulars again by shitposting in a Q&A thread, pretending to simp for her just to get a reaction. It didn’t take long for that one to get banned also.
At the end of the day, I get why some people in that thread don’t like me. I was impatient, I called people out in obnoxious ways, and I didn’t exactly go out of my way to smooth things over. But what annoys me is how a few incidents completely overshadow everything else I did. I wasn’t just some random shitposter stirring up shit for no reason, I actually contributed, put in effort, and cared about keeping the thread good.
Yet, instead of being recognized for any of that, I’m treated like the anti christ. It’s not like I expect everyone to like me, but the selective memory some of these people have is ridiculous. If they want to keep holding a grudge over some petty forum drama, that’s fine. I'll still contribute to the Hogenverse anyway I can still.
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