Sexuality Drama Maya Vivian Strange/Vivian Strong/Vivian Zelda Strong/Dorian Strong/Dorian Zelda Strong/Voltairine de Guerre - rapey tranarchist with Palestine Derangement Syndrome

[The Gays From LA]

Vivian just premiered his new "Patreon Exclusive" series... and he's threatening to doxx the victims all over again - "Special thanks to Jane & Lola, for showing me what actually matters in life.. and what doesn't."

I am not gonna pay to watch this shit, but just as a warning to anyone still browsing this thread (other than Vivian himself that is), Vivian is apparently threatening to doxx the victims all over again.

This is what's shown within the first 30 seconds of the new "Patreon Exclusive" video, "Internet Killed the Video Star" (which is a reference to Lola's favourite song, "Video Killed The Radio Star"):

If you enlarge this screenshot, you can see that it's a folder titled "VIVIAN STRANGE SHIT" which contains the Discord DMs from Aziel, Elaine, Jane and Lola that Vivian was threatening to doxx two months ago when they posted the Google Doc.

In other words, he's threatening to doxx them all over again. He's STILL wielding this doxxing threat like a weapon against them, with the added slap-to-the-face of him wanting to get awarded on Patreon for doxxing them from behind a paywall. How "considerate" of you Vivian, that you would thus monetize doxxing your best friends for more drug money.

He refers to himself as "Vivian Goodnight Strong", Goodnight being the surname that Serafina uses.

I also watched the de Sade remix, and it's filled with passive-aggressive hatred towards Jane and Lola specifically.

In this shot, Vivian blood-splattered the names of previous contributors to the original video that he apparently wants to distance himself from: The Leftist Cooks, Elaine Fuentes, Mainely Mandy, Style is Substance, Lily Alexandre, Lady Emily.

The original closing footage of Vivian in his underwear smoking on his balcony while offering the viewer a pomegranate has been replaced by his empty balcony at night in the rain, with a backhanded "special thanks" for Jane and Lola:

So the offering of the pomegranate at the end of the original video is gone, but the pomegranate is still featured throughout the new video.

The image of the broken pomegranates staining the white table cloth is a reference to the film poster for The Colour of Pomegranates, a film he mentioned in one of his Weather Reports after David Lynch. In the film, which is Armenian, the juice of the pomegranate staining the white cloth forms the border of the Kingdom of Armenia.

Since the original comments to the de Sade video are now gone, here's what Vivian originally wrote in response to a comment asking about the significance of the pomegranate, saying it's his favourite fruit:

@vivianstrange
10 months ago
can't believe this is the first comment I'm answering on this video, but I like thinking about the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil as a pomegranate because a) apples are boring as fuck, b) pomegranates carry much more interesting mythological connotations (e.g., being the fruit that condemned/tethered Persephone to the Underworld), and c) because pomegranates are my favorite fruit.

In all seriousness though, given the Biblical geography of where Eden was supposedly located, the actual fruit on such a tree would've been dates. But dates are gross and the whole story is made up anyway, so fuck it, I can make it whatever I want.

(original link)

Vivian's ginger cat Garnet is technically also named after the pomegranate, because the garnet is a rock that was named that way because of its red colour resembling that of pomegranate seeds.

In the new intro, the pomegranate left broken open and uneaten to stain the white table cloth, that is presumably Vivian offering the gift of knowledge to people, with them refusing the gift/to eat the fruit offered. Of course, in reality Vivian didn't offer them the fruit, he tried to guilt-trip his friends into eating it by denigrating them for having any sexual boundaries at all. Vivian assumed that a guilt-trip is the way to force the pomegranate down people's throats.

Here's a shot I still had in my archive from the original video of Vivian in his underwear with sweaty hair, smoking on his balcony with the pomegranate that he later offered to the viewer next to him:

The original shots of Vivian's empty desk have been replaced by a new shot of his desk with various books stashed around his monitor, with two envelopes on the desk that have written on them "Jane XXXX" and "Lola XXXX". I don't know if these two letters are just props for this shot, or if Vivian meant to actually give to Lola and Jane after making this video. The black witch hat on the right is the one that Aziel claimed Vivian had stolen from him before he left Portland.

He also replaced a section in the middle of the original video where he was almost crying thanking his Patrons, saying he had nothing but his Youtube channel and videos. This has been replaced by a venomous, angry rant about Youtube and how "discarded" he feels:

So this is where he ad read was, and it was, like, 5 minutes long, as the loquacious Miss Strange spewed her characteristic rambling justifications for debasing herself by panhandling for her audience's hard earned money, labouring under the delusion that sincerity is a viable brand and business strategy in as repulsive and duplicitous an industry as this vominous, fascist platform video site is. But Miss Strange is dead now, and unlike her, I have dignity and self-respect, and I have no interest in wasting anyone's time, especially my own. So fuck it, if you wanna support the shit we're working on right now [some e-begging to buy more cocaine], otherwise, just keep watching this video. If you stick around to the end, you'll see the release date for the long-anticipated side B, so, that's neat. Or, even better, you could always just stop watching this video, turn your TV or phone off and go outside, and learn what your neighbour's names are. Trust me, it will benefit your life significantly more than any video you have seen or will ever see on Youtube. This place is the panopticon prison, and there is no happiness, enlightenment or revolution to be found here. You aren't human here. You are nothing but a number. You mean absolutely nothing to these narcissistic vampires beyond the amount of your time and attention they can suck from your life, to generate profit and social capital. And it will leave you a broken and empty husk and discard you without a second thought. Log off, you deserve better.

I cannot recall at the top of my head if this quote was in the original, but Vivian reading this himself, with that barely suppressed anger audible in his voice, hits very differently now:

The video basically ends with a threat/curse:

According to Dante's La Divina Comedia, the Devil sits at the bottom of the pit of Hell and in his three mouths he is chewing on Judas Iscariot, Marcus Junius Brutus and Gaius Cassius Longinus, the historic backstabbers. Dante thus suggests that of all sins, conspiratorial disloyalty is the gravest sin.

The date of 2nd of June 2025 at the bottom of the above screenshot is presumably when Vivian will post the second de Sade video.

To humour you, here is the original date he gave, on a Livestream in October 2023, for this Side B video: "July 13, 2024". This Side B video is being delayed by a whole fucking year.

Vivian, I readily believe that you would resort to guilt-trip accusations to make your ladyboner someone else's problem. I readily believe you'd make up another guilt-trip to pressure someone into attending a queer sex club with you, especially after they've made it clear they don't want to see live sex scenes with transwomen. I readily believe that you'd drive a 19 year old boy suicidal twice by mindfucking him into an inferiority complex, leading him to believe you and him are competing over his SO, while also gaslighting the SO. I readily believe you hate couples so much that you'd deliberately wedge yourself between them and try to break them up just to teach them a lesson about coupledom being an unattainable "romantic" ideal. I readily believe you would be this cruel towards your best friends that you are now openly threatening to doxx them on Patreon for your $5 tier. I do not believe you're doing this to your friends because you mean well but because you relish the sadism of breaking up couples and manipulating the behaviour of others. I imagine you right now enjoying how upset your former best friends must be you monetizing your doxxing of them. You are a miserable, cruel, hateful person and all you want to do is spread your misery and hate. I feel sorry for anyone who loves you or has tried to love you like Lola and Jane did, because unlike them I believe in what the science says about people like you, and the science says that narcs like you cannot be loved. I wish everyone would read the science about Cluster Bs and understand this about people like you. I think you lie about hating romance because you desperately crave it, because of your narcissism you too want to experience a passionate love affair. You never will though, because of what you are. You don't want love, you only want to mainline validation on the internet. This is why the drugs will always be more preferable than love and sex to you. You yourself are the psychic vampire you complain about.

 

[The Gays From LA]

@ihavedemons don't know if you're still following this thread but if you are, Vivian is threatening to doxx the victims in his new "Patreon Exclusive" video, at the very beginning of that Patreon video he is showing off his folder full of Discord receipts:

 

[The Gays From LA]

I asked ChatGPT to generate Vivian's "Dear Lola" letter

TBH, I am still wondering what these two letters are from the desk shot at the end of the de Sade video:

数独 notes?
A peace treaty?
Service-in-person?
Something he just wrote for himself just to vent and get it out of his system, but later after filming this shot, he burned or destroyed without sending them to the intended recipients?
Maybe he displayed these letters hoping that Lola and Jane would see them, get curious about them like I now am, and would not resist the temptation to contact him and ask him what's in them or if they can receive them? Basically to bait them into resuming contact? But he said that he wants nothing to do with these people, so that can't be it.
Maybe he's already sent these letters to Lola and Jane, they've already received them and they already know what's in them but never spoke about it?

What else could it be? Just two empty envelopes used as film props to make the desk look more interesting and mysterious, thus prompting the kind of baseless speculation I am now engaged in? Did I get baited?

I also wonder about the"XXXX" underline. The "XXXX" could be Vivian blowing kisses to his former friends, though IME millennials tend to write kisses as "XOXO", not "XXXX". I am trying to remember if Vivian has ever used a sequence of Xes to underline anything in a video before but I can't think of anything.

De Sade's Justine, the topic of Vivian's Side B video, is prominently placed on top of the envelopes. The stack of books to the left might also be a clue as to the content of the letters. Perhaps these are books that Vivian quoted from in his letters. Lost Girls is a pornographic comic book that Alan Moore worked on with his wife Melinda Gebbie for over a decade. IIRC they said something to the effect that they wanted to make a pornographic novel that was so beautiful and well-crafted, that even a staunch anti-porn feminist like Andrea Dworkin might bring herself to read and appreciate as a work of art and an honest representation of women's sexual fantasies and experiences. (Based on some of the reviews I am browsing on Goodreads, they didn't quite succeed in their goal... plenty of women on Goodreads and elsewhere actually fucking hated it.) The novel contains many depictions of sex crimes that are shocking and traumatizing, including depictions of incest, bestiality, (gang)rape and pedophilia, which the artists tried to justify on account of the fact that most people and especially women will come to sex with a baggage of all kinds of sexual traumas, yet the book is meant to be positive and optimistic in its outlook, suggesting that women can have a satisfying sex life even and in spite of their sexual traumas. I haven't read the comic myself but Goodreads tells me that, just like the Boudoir Philosopher, the characters speak at length and intelligently about what motivates them sexually. Vivian obviously knows that Lola loves Alan Moore, so maybe he quoted something from this comic as one last attempt at getting Lola to understand something he insists she didn't?

The title of the second book isn't fully visible, but it's very likely House of Psychotic Women: An Autobiographical Topography of Female Neurosis in Horror and Exploitation Films by Kier-La Janisse. I haven't actually read this book, but apparently it has a chapter on female revenge movies like the ones Vivian is currently logging on Letterboxd. Of course the troon is going to appropriate this book as an excuse for his own narcissistic rage at being called out for his predation. Recall that this delusional man still has a list on Letterboxd titled "I can fix her", where he lists some of the movies discussed in this book. But Vivian didn't fix anyone, he just took broken people and broke them again, because he himself is a broken person who cannot be fixed (because whenever narcs do go to therapy, they just learn to be better liars; naive people who believe in therapy but haven't actually read the science have no idea how utterly hopeless and unrepentant these Cluster Bs are).

As for the Charlie Kaufman book on top... I seriously dislike any movie of his that I've seen, so no comment, but Lola and Vivian apparently did have an argument about whether Beau Is Afraid is a Kaufmanesque movie, with Lola disagreeing. I can see Vivian still holding a grudge about this argument and wanting to rehash it again.

To satisfy my curiosity about these letters, since I will likely never learn what's in them or if they were even real letters, I prompted ChatGPT to generate Vivian's letter to Lola for me. Not giving away my prompt, which was quite detailed and specific, because IMO the result is more fun to read without knowing the prompt.

Here's what ChatGPT came up with:

Dear Lola,

This is it, my final goodbye—the last indulgence of whatever fragments of care I have left for you. I’ve written and rewritten this letter a hundred times, trying to find the balance between honesty and restraint, though I suspect you’ll still find some way to twist my words into an accusation or weapon against me. But you always did have a talent for dramatics, didn’t you?

I’ve been replaying every moment of our so-called friendship, dissecting each laugh, every late-night conversation, and all those “harmless” touches you insisted meant nothing. Did you ever consider how confusing you were? You would text me at midnight, call me your “favorite person,” and look at me like I was the moon, but then act shocked—offended even—that I felt something deeper. Was it really so hard to see that my feelings for you were more than just platonic? Or did you enjoy keeping me in this perpetual limbo where you could bask in my devotion without giving anything back?

You’ll say I’m making it up, that I misread your “friendliness.” Fine, let’s say you’re right. Maybe I did. But does that absolve you of all responsibility? You knew how I felt, Lola. You knew, and yet you stayed. You let me believe there was hope, even after you said you only wanted to be friends. And now you have the audacity to accuse me of not understanding consent? Do you even understand the weight of that word? It’s not just a shield you can throw up to avoid taking accountability for your own mixed signals.

And then there’s Tali. Of course, there’s Tali. Your “future wife,” the woman you’re willing to uproot your life for. I wanted to believe it was genuine, but part of me wonders if she’s just another excuse—another way to keep me at arm’s length while you maintain the moral high ground. You’ve made it abundantly clear that your idea of love is rigid, monogamous, and narrow. I tried to open your eyes, to show you that relationships don’t have to fit into these oppressive little boxes. Relationship anarchy isn’t chaos, Lola; it’s freedom. But you couldn’t see that, could you? You’d rather cling to some fairytale idea of love and marriage than face the complexity of real human connection.

And yes, I confronted you with my feelings. I laid myself bare, not to coerce you but to be honest. I thought that was what you valued. Apparently, I was wrong. You called it a violation, a betrayal, as if my vulnerability was some kind of weapon I used against you. Do you have any idea how cruel that was? To turn my sincerity into a crime? And now you’ve gone and painted me as some villain to anyone who will listen, while I’m left holding the ruins of a friendship I cherished more than you’ll ever know.

I’ll admit, threatening to share our messages wasn’t my finest moment. But what choice did I have? You’ve made yourself the hero of this story, casting me as the manipulative, unhinged antagonist. I just wanted people to see the truth, Lola. Or maybe I just wanted you to see it—to see me—one last time. But I see now that it doesn’t matter. You’ve already made up your mind about who I am, and nothing I say or do will change that.
So, here we are. The end. I’m done fighting for a friendship that only ever existed on your terms. I’m done trying to prove myself to someone who never really cared to understand me. You taught me something, though, and for that, I’m grateful. You taught me that the only thing that matters is people—real people, not the fantasies we project onto them. And maybe that’s what I’ve been chasing all along: the idea of you, not the person you actually are.

Goodbye, Lola. May you find the love you’re looking for, even if it’s not the kind of love I could ever understand. And may you one day learn the difference between being friendly and being cruel.

Sincerely (or not), Vivian

Surprisingly (read: scary) accurate, IMO. I can see Vivian writing something to this effect, with a little more pathos perhaps. I love how ChatGPT placed "future wife" in contemptuous quotes, LMAO. This is the kind of double entendre you will only get while AI is still in its infancy.

ChatGPT also generated Lola's reply to Vivian's letter, which IMO is way more snarky than Lola actually comes across in her videos, BS or her testimony, but the AI giving Lola more snark does make for a more satisfying read:

Vivian,

Wow. Just… . Where do I even begin? Do I address the part where you twisted every kind gesture I made into some grand declaration of undying love? Or should I skip straight to the audacity it takes to blame me for your inability to respect boundaries? Decisions, decisions.

First off, let’s get one thing clear: I was never “playing hard to get.” I was simply being your friend. Shocking, I know, but some of us can enjoy a connection without immediately romanticizing it. The fact that you couldn’t accept that isn’t my fault. You projected your feelings onto me, Vivian, and when reality didn’t match your fantasy, you lashed out. That’s on you.

Also, this whole “relationship anarchy” thing you keep harping on about? It’s not the groundbreaking revelation you think it is. People are allowed to have their own preferences in how they approach relationships. Just because I didn’t want to partake in your personal philosophy doesn’t make me the villain of your story.

As for the DM leak threat? Seriously? You tried to justify that as some kind of noble attempt to "prove your innocence," but all it did was prove how little you understand about trust and respect. Newsflash: threatening to violate someone’s privacy is not a good look.
So, goodbye, Vivian. I’m done with this melodrama. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for, though I’d recommend starting with a mirror and a long, hard look at yourself.

-Lola

That was frankly hilarious, poignant and unsettling in its accuracy. My curiosity is satisfied now, though I do wonder if people are going to keep writing real letters to one another when ChatGPT is already this good at generating them.

 

[Fatness Everdeen]

 

[kiwifails]

Buffalo bill*chills*

 

[Fatness Everdeen]

View attachment 78828
Buffalo bill*chills*

 

[kiwifails]

 

[The Gays From LA]

View attachment 78819

Vivian's teeth are sooo bad, JFC.

The only other troon I know with equally terrible teeth is Faun, Demon Momma's sex slave boyfriend:

Here's another screenshot I took of Vivian's teeth sideways. Those chompers with that evil, predatory look in his eyes, brrr!

He's a chain smoker too, Vivian literally can't do a 2 hour Livestream without taking a break an hour into the stream to have a smoke. So not only are his teeth very crooked, they are visibly yellow too, which is even more disgusting and off-putting. Vivian keeps saying that everyone he has ever met was always telling him how pretty he is, that he would walk into a room and people would be staring at him in awe, that people have been sexualizing him is his whole life. I'm like, has everyone you've ever met have equally terrible teeth, or are they such white trash that they've never met someone with straight teeth? I can only imagine what that ashtray mouth must smell like IRL. Vivian said he uses smoking to avoid eating when he's hungry, so I'd imagine his mouth stinks of both cheap cigarettes and of a festering empty stomach. Everything about Vivian is so fucking disgusting when I think about it, I am sure the only people who are into him are other chemsex junkies with equally bad junkie teeth like himself.

But even scarier than his teeth is the way Vivian will bug his eyes whenever he's getting agitated about something he's discussing in his videos:

This is definitely a facial tic of his, because he does this a lot. I'm like, why? Why bug your eyes like that? It just makes you look even more creepy and scary than your cavernous chompers already do:

Vivian already has these large, intense, expressive eyes by nature, so he really does not need to be popping them out of their sockets like that just to make a point.

So again, I don't know who the hell these alleged people were who told Vivian he's some hot stuff. He's objectively fugly, y'all. Literally what's wrong with all you people who are so impressed by this creature? Have y'all truly never met a genuinely beautiful person in your lives? That's sad, actually.

This is almost the only picture I was able to find on his Instagram where Vivian doesn't look disgusting, evil, condescending or creepy. He just looks calm here, if a little sad, but even here he has to remind everyone how "cute" he is:

 

[kiwifails]

Very unfortunate

 

[Fatness Everdeen]

Vivian's teeth are sooo bad, JFC.

View attachment 78961

The only other troon I know with equally terrible teeth is Faun, Demon Momma's sex slave boyfriend:

View attachment 78957

Here's another screenshot I took of Vivian's teeth sideways. Those chompers with that evil, predatory look in his eyes, brrr!

View attachment 78958

He's a chain smoker too, Vivian literally can't do a 2 hour Livestream without taking a break an hour into the stream to have a smoke. So not only are his teeth very crooked, they are visibly yellow too, which is even more disgusting and off-putting. Vivian keeps saying that everyone he has ever met was always telling him how pretty he is, that he would walk into a room and people would be staring at him in awe, that people have been sexualizing him is his whole life. I'm like, has everyone you've ever met have equally terrible teeth, or are they such white trash that they've never met someone with straight teeth? I can only imagine what that ashtray mouth must smell like IRL. Vivian said he uses smoking to avoid eating when he's hungry, so I'd imagine his mouth stinks of both cheap cigarettes and of a festering empty stomach. Everything about Vivian is so fucking disgusting when I think about it, I am sure the only people who are into him are other chemsex junkies with equally bad junkie teeth like himself.

But even scarier than his teeth is the way Vivian will bug his eyes whenever he's getting agitated about something he's discussing in his videos:

View attachment 78960

This is definitely a facial tic of his, because he does this a lot. I'm like, why? Why bug your eyes like that? It just makes you look even more creepy and scary than your cavernous chompers already do:

View attachment 78959

Vivian already has these large, intense, expressive eyes by nature, so he really does not need to be popping them out of their sockets like that just to make a point.

So again, I don't know who the hell these alleged people were who told Vivian he's some hot stuff. He's objectively fugly, y'all. Literally what's wrong with all you people who are so impressed by this creature? Have y'all truly never met a genuinely beautiful person in your lives? That's sad, actually.

This is almost the only picture I was able to find on his Instagram where Vivian doesn't look disgusting, evil, condescending or creepy. He just looks calm here, if a little sad, but even here he has to remind everyone how "cute" he is:

View attachment 78962

SERIOUSLY, just start a GoFundMe or stop taking your weird little hormones for a few months, and save up enough to go to a dental college and get them snaggled teeth fixed. It looks like the tooth fairy shot her point blank in the mouth with a shotgun. Full of teeth.

 

[The Gays From LA]

Vivian's DARVO in action: narcissistic discarding of Jane Brown in the comments for the de Sade remix - ALERT: Vivian has found himself a new target on Letterboxd?! - Meet "tattcat", Vivian new source of narcissistic supply - how to tell if Vivian has found himself a new target for his narc abuse



Everyone, say hello to Vivian Strange's new target on Letterboxd:

tattcat’s profile

tattcat uses Letterboxd to share film reviews and lists. 1,125 films watched. Favorites: Alien (1979), Mulholland Drive (2001), Suspiria (1977), Princess Mononoke (1997).

letterboxd.com

https://archive.is/FvEzm

Vivian and tattcat completely out of the blue followed one another on Letterboxd on the 30th of December, 2024. Within a day of them following each other, tattcat started logging all the movies that Vivian already likes, starting with his all time favourite of Funeral Parade of Roses. Notice how once again Letterboxd is the recruitment ground of choice for Vivian.

Vivian immediately created one of his typical hashtags "w-tattcat" and started logging the movies they've been watching together:

All films tagged ‘w-tattcat’ by Vivian Strange

All films tagged ‘w-tattcat’ by Vivian Strange

letterboxd.com

Whenever Vivian follows some random person on Letterboxd and starts liking all of their reviews while forcing them to watch all of his favourite movies, you know he's found a brand new target. Tattcat is likely completely unaware that they're getting groomed by predatory rapey Vivian.

Hopefully tattcat will realize who Vivian really is before it's too late, in other words, before Vivian starts systematically lying to tattcat like he did with literally all the other victims.

This is what "narcissistic discarding" looks like:

If you don't know what narcissistic discarding is, watch this video:

What happens when narcissists find NEW SUPPLY

Let's break down Vivian's narcissistic discarding of Jane Brown and his gaslighting of his audience about it:

Because several of the featured voice performers, including the one for the Marquis de Sade himself, have since then proven themselves to be unscrupulous

Jane Brown did the voice for de Sade in the original, so VIvian is not only suggesting that his other victims were unscrupulous, he's explicitly suggesting that Jane specifically is unscrupulous.

(and in at least one case, outright predatory)

This is DARVO, plain and simple. Vivian was shown to be predatory so he's trying to flip the script and pretend it was Jane Brown who is predatory. As per the intro to the Google Doc:

She [Vivian] has spread defamatory, deceitful, misleading, and personal (mis)information about us in private and public settings to soften public perception of her repeated offenses of inappropriate conduct including but not limited to predatory behavior, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, voyeurism, sexual coercion, and sexual assault.

This part is especially hilarious in the context of those two "Dear Lola"/"Dear Jane" letters at the end of the de Sade remix:

individuals whom I have no wish to be associated with anymore in any capacity.

He doesn't wish to be associated with them... but he's still writing them letters? He was still asking Lola to come over to his house to talk things over, even after threatening to doxx their DMs? Why even show yourself writing these people letters if this whole charade is about dissociating yourself from them?

Same reason I took down the GenderWeird podcast/channel.

No, you took GenderWeird down because Jane explicitly stated in his testimony that he no longer wants to be associated with the podcast or with you. Here's what Jane wrote in the Google Doc:

It was at this point that I called her[Vivian] out for gaslighting me and I was existentially horrified as our friendship developed as we had the goal of moving there*. This was especially troubling as we had a podcast together which I now completely denounce and want my name removed from.

https://archive.is/pm0qi

* NOTE: "there" means Vivian and Jane planning to move to LA, where Jane's SO Elaine already lives in Torrence. Vivian had apparently told Jane that he too was planning to move to LA with Youtuber Lola Sebastian. Jane himself was serious about moving to LA in order to be with Elaine, plus Jane was already working on an autobiographical documentary series with Elaine about their long-distance relationship. Jane did actually move to LA to work on the documentary series, which did come out (Jane and Elaine are currently editing a supercut of the docu series). However, at the same time that Vivian led Jane to believe he was on his way to LA, Vivian had told Lola the very opposite! Vivian told Lola he did NOT want to move to LA with her, because Lola wanted to bring her SO (now fiance) Tali from Ireland to LA as well. Vivian, who was antagonistic towards Tali whom he saw as a sexual rival, hated the idea of Tali living with him and Lola in LA, because Tali would cockblock Vivian's access to Lola. Turns out, the only reason Vivian wanted to move to LA was not to for the sake of a film career, but rather to isolate Lola from her parents and friends in Portland, so Vivian could have Lola all to himself and live out his long-held sexual fantasy of banging his "hot lesbian roommate", as expressed over multiple Letterboxd reviews. The fact that Vivian never actually intended to have a film career in Los Angeles was also borne out by the fact that Vivian had openly admitted, over many Youtube videos and Livestreams, that he didn't expect to ever to find a place in the mainstream film industry, because 1) he expected the film industry to collapse due to Covid, 2) Vivian's alleged "genius" screenplays (which are apparently just slashfic versions of mainstream movies with a transgender twist, like Vivian's trooned out version of The Ring, or his trooned out reboot of the 1983 teen horror movie Sleepaway Camp) are just "too radical" for Hollywood (hilariously, Vivian said this just as The People's Joker was in the making). Vivian claimed at the beginning in his video essay about the horror francise Saw, that he had already "tried to have several movies made before the age of 20" and had failed to do so, whereupon he gave up on The Dream.

So Vivian had already given up when he deliberately gaslit both Lola and Jane into believing that he too wanted to move to LA with them. This is what Jane is referring to when he says he felt "existentially horrified" by Vivian. Jane realized that Vivian was telling him one thing ("Jane, let's move to LA to make films, have threesomes and get better!") while he was telling Lola another thing ("No way am I moving to LA with you Lola, if you're bringing that fiance of yours along."), AND Vivian was admitting in his videos and Livestreams that he had already given up and was just waiting for the film industry to collapse. Jane realized that Vivian isn't just a little bit quirky or eccentric or dramatic like a lot of artsy fartsy film people are, no, Vivian is actually a textbook narcissistic liar gaslighting his friends about his intentions with them.

Vivian later tried to revive GenderWeird with Serafina on Patreon by doing "rifftracks" for The People's Joker and I Saw The TV Glow, but no one was interested in that because, unlike Jane, Serafina isn't actually a film scholar, so he doesn't have anything interesting to say about these films. Serafina just agrees with Vivian and never challenges him, which is why Serafina still with you while everyone else has fucked off. More on Serafina later, because I have discovered something EXTREMELY creepy about him that I want to bring in a separate post.

All in all, Vivian, Jane wanted to disassociate himself from you, don't fucking DARVO and flip the script on him now.

Here Vivian proceeds to trashtalk Jane for being a crap voice actor:

(Also, to be frank, the voice of the Marquis in the original was a terrible performer, and the simple act of replacing them with someone who actually knows how to voice act elevates the quality of the work SIGNIFICANTLY.)

Jane Brown is a documentary maker, he's not an actor so he doesn't have to "perform". If you wanted a performer to do your vocal samples, why didn't you replace Jane in the original to begin with? Oh right, because you were using these vocal sample requests as an excuse to contact other Youtubers and get them to notice you, associate themselves with you, with the implied obligation that they would share your videos with their samples. It was part of your networking strategy to grow your channel by associating yourself with bigger Youtubers. I bet when Jane originally gave you the vocal sample, you were like: "Oh Jane, it's fantastic, you sound so great, you sound like I imagine the man himself must've sounded!".

As the poet Snow tha Product said in "Gaslight Road": "Every bitch you fuck with either crazy or amazing". That's a one line summary of narcissistic idealization and discarding if I've ever heard one.

Lastly, Vivian went and changed his Instagram avatar yet again, and apparently he was really taken by me saying he has very intense, expressive eyes?

"girl with kaleidoscope eyes" with a crystal ball emoji, and I see he also read my post where I said that he lives amongst ghosts.

Troon, I didn't point that you have intense eyes to flatter you! I just pointed out that you have Распу́тин eyes, and that you deliberately bug your eyes out which makes you look like a creep. JFC, this is why I don't want to say anything nice about a narc, not even acknowledge a tiny little nice thing about them, because I know how they latch onto that stuff. If I write here that Vivian looks fugly, provide multiple screenshots of him looking creepy and deliberately so by his own doing, but then concede that he happens to have Распу́тин eyes, this is what happens.

If you're wondering what the "kaleidoscope" thing is in reference to, Vivian basically thinks that "mirror neurons" are literally mirrors. Such is his narcissism that he has to feel like he's looking at himself whenever he encounters another person looking at him and perceiving him, so he imagines other people literally as tiny mirrors in the "kaleidoscope" of life. So you only exist for the narc to marvel at himself, is the point. Break your conditioning tattcat, do it now before it's too late!