I clipped this video because I think it perfectly encapsulates the heterosexual. He is so detached from a healthy, normal lifestyle that he has literally no idea what it is. He thinks that "family values" literally amounts to nothing more than drunk-driving his kids to school, letting them go hungry and pretending to be a pious Christian in his local Church, only to go home for another sex-fueled coke bender with a homewrecking sidebitch called "April". The heterosexual thinks that the health of his own family unit has nothing beyond that.
Seriously, I should change my alias into "The Straights from Minnesota" and use this screenshot for my avatar instead of K Flay:
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