As much as I appreciate the attention. I really do. Why can't a super obsessed girl give me any? I hate to use the word Yandere because it's derived from Otaku lingo. Perhaps I could come up with a word that no one uses however no one will know what the fuck I'm talking about. A word freshly made by me with love. The more I pay attention to the H3 shit I get so pissy about it. If I could have a super obsessed girl make dolls of me and play with them while fantasizing about having a family and being my wife, that would bring fireworks into my soul. The best part, I give her a good chase. The dedication this girl put worth for an already married man. Why can't it be me dude. No I don't want to be married when this happens, however the aspect of a girl to do anything for me, for me... I weep about it because I don't even know my own mind in times of confusion. Feelings of needing someone to protect me from myself grip on to me. I'm such a imbecile for wanting any kind of girl. I keep jumping for joy just to fall flat on my ass for girls that don't even glance in my direction. Someone I can just cry and be weak on when no one else is around. I know she's out there somewhere. It's okay if she stumbles upon me through onion farms. I hope it's one of those things where I don't know she knows I exist. Reading through everything, seeing me talk about wanting her... needing her. Then she begins to draw pictures of me, writes fan fics of me & watches me for a long time to get to know me without me knowing she even is watching in the first place. There's more to this story. She's a true team player. We work together just fine. We argue then cry on each other. She reminds me that everything is okay, that there is nothing to worry about. We explore america so we can be free in any direction. Taking the wheel for the most part so she can make me feel safe when she's in control. Also I won't be going to Florida this year, I will be going to Puerto Rico! But Florida will always be in my heart. Regardless, we own a house down in Florida in a quiet town away from bullshit. We grow a beautiful garden together, we go to Navarre to hold each other in the sand dunes under a true crescent. Hell, we might fall sleep to wake up to the sounds of the gulf. A place like that with her is what's ultimately free. Never again do I have to feel so stressed out and worried. I'm so critical sometimes. Play on word for lost. Even if she locks me in a basement and watches me sleep to help me reset this troublesome mind, I'd sign up for it against me will. She just needs to be my haven of relief. Soft relief where the snow isn't cold. Her warmth are the Georgia mornings in early summer.
Instead I'm stuck with girls that mistreated me.