Hobbies Chapter One Of My Story So Far: "The Quest For The Source"

[MarvinTheAngel]

You mean all those Phony words in the beginning isn't a Catcher in the Rye reference?

Anyway, it's still too chaotic to begin. I recommend beginning with something a little bit more grounded before you go full experimental.

No.
I started it chaotically because it's meant to draw in the reader, like the hook or lead concept in English class.

 

[Jane Doe 1]

No.
I started it chaotically because it's meant to draw in the reader, like the hook or lead concept in English class.

Read C0DA, Kirkbride's stuff is the closest to your writing.
https://www.c0da.es/t/c0da

 

[The Fool]

No.
I started it chaotically because it's meant to draw in the reader, like the hook or lead concept in English class.

congratulations you accomplished the complete opposite of what you were attempting to.

 

[MarvinTheAngel]

Read C0DA, Kirkbride's stuff is the closest to your writing.
https://www.c0da.es/t/c0da

What? The reading and the formatting are complete nonsense. Are you insulting my story?

congratulations you accomplished the complete opposite of what you were attempting to.

oh okay :(
i guess it can be like Homestuck where the beginning sucks but people that are introduced to it power through it anyway to get to the good parts

 

[The Fool]

what's homestuck?

 

[Jane Doe 1]

what's homestuck?

Gay.

View attachment 8693
What? The reading and the formatting are complete nonsense. Are you insulting my story?

Nope, just read it.

It's the closest to your story in style.

 

[MarvinTheAngel]

what's homestuck?

a webcomic!
https://www.homestuck.com/

Gay.

Nope, just read it.

It's the closest to your story in style.

I don't know what's going on. Maybe I can add an author's note at the beginning of my story that it gets better later on.

 

[The Fool]

a webcomic!

tell me more

 

[Jane Doe 1]

I don't know what's going on. Maybe I can add an author's note at the beginning of my story that it gets better later on.

I feel the same thing about your story. You're missing out.

How about Third introducing himself at the beginning? Instead of writing (Incomprehensible name) in the middle of the sentence?

 

[MarvinTheAngel]

tell me more

John Egbert (the main character) gets a reality warping game for his birthday and plays it with his online friends. Eventually, it culminates in them meeting "trolls" and they start to get into wacky hijinks and stuff. Idk I read it years ago, don't remember that well.

 

[Jane Doe 1]

John Egbert (the main character) gets a reality warping game for his birthday and plays it with his online friends. Eventually, it culminates in them meeting "trolls" and they start to get into wacky hijinks and stuff. Idk I read it years ago, don't remember that well.

And frog afterlives, and Cherubs, and all other stuff happen.

 

[The Fool]

John Egbert (the main character) gets a reality warping game for his birthday and plays it with his online friends. Eventually, it culminates in them meeting "trolls" and they start to get into wacky hijinks and stuff. Idk I read it years ago, don't remember that well.

interesting, what do you enjoy about it?

 

[ImpassionateLeek4]

Wow I just checked his profile and he really is 16 years old lol I called it, fucking minors shitting up the site

 

[Chairman Miaozer]

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠟⠛⠄⢾⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠐⠯⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠁⠹⠉⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⢈⠅⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢽⡆⠄⠈⠄⠙⠉⠉⣙⢻⣿⣯⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⣊⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⣿⡁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢿⣿⠿⠻⠟⣋⣉⣵⢂⡄⠄⢀⠴⢟⠆⠄⠄⢈⠦⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⡿⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠐⢰⣿⣽⣷⣿⣶⣬⣴⣾⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠈⢀⣀⣧⡿⣠⡐⠄⠄⠄⠳⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡋⣼⡇⠄⢺⠄⠄⠡⡖⣦⣄⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⣄⣴⣶⣿⡿⣿⡾⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢺⡒⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠘⠁⠠⠈⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣆⠔⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠅⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣁⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⠅⠄⠄⢠⡬⠳⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⠊⠄⢀⢐⡶⡏⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢐⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⢿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⣀⣾⣾⣯⡵⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣿⡷⣀⠹⣿⣿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⡗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⡀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢸⣿⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢒⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

 

[MarvinTheAngel]

Hello everyone! I have finished chapter 4 and a bit of Chapter 5, hope you guys enjoy!
I actually fixed the formatting this time too