I go to bed with money clouds over my head. I wake up reminding myself I'm the one that's in control. The jury, the judge, the executioner. Every decision gets ran by me and I have final say. That it's moral to be an egomaniac and whoever disagrees has a mental problem. Picture this. You hold $1000 in cash in front of someone that fucked you over in exchange for some fun on a show. They cower away and not accept it. Money from $2500 that you spawned from using 8 quarters. Treated your close friend to 20 steam games and bought people irl various things as gifts. And I had $1000 left just for it to be denied when the people who run the show wanted that person back. I was in control of her reality 100% just for it to be left there without a hand shake. And now your life is worse. Depression is slowly coming back like old times. The substance you rely on is rejecting you like all of your friends. I never cared for you for some time but now I'm reminded how much of a pure person I was with pure intentions. I wait, be patient, and even compromise with lower standards just to be disrespected. Seeing what has resulted now just fucking adds the whip cream to my ice cream. By December I will be in a way better position in life due to come circumstances that serve me while you'll be alone on Christmas and contemplate suicide again on New Years.
What a fucking loser. You should just do Fentanyl for the first time and go out that way. Save people the trouble from cleaning up blood. Maybe livestream it for laughs I wouldn't feel sorry.