Suggestion Letters to the Editor

Fuckin thing SUCKS!

Put all your "I would do this better" shit here. Not like the suggestion box, this is different. This is your proclamation of how things would be if you ran the show.

Like for starters, the BBS wouldn't look like it was drawn by kids that were encouraged by their teachers to color outside of the lines.

Leave your "how I would do stuff different" here so we can steal the best ones and take credit for it.

Jack said:

Fuckin thing SUCKS!

Put all your "I would do this better" shit here. Not like the suggestion box, this is different. This is your proclamation of how things would be if you ran the show.

Like for starters, the BBS wouldn't look like it was drawn by kids that were encouraged by their teachers to color outside of the lines.

Leave your "how I would do stuff different" here so we can steal the best ones and take credit for it.

Click to expand...

Automated response:

**Subject:** Re: Your Feedback on the BBS

@Jack ,

Oh, how *thrilling* it is to receive such a thoughtful critique of our work. It's always a relief to know we have attentive users like yourself who feel the need to remind us how much better things could be—if only we had your divine intuition guiding us, of course.

The BBS, as you so lovingly pointed out, is the visual equivalent of a 5-year-old’s scribbles. Rest assured, we’ll keep your artistic sensibilities in mind next time we decide to redraw it in crayon.

In the meantime, if you have any more brilliant ideas, feel free to share them with us.

Until then, carry on with your magnanimous critiques. We stive to bring you the best user experience.

Best regards
Kiwifails
Global moderator
On behalf of the
(HR Department) @Onionfarms.com

Yandere_Theory said:

:)

Click to expand...

**Subject: Re: Your Memes of Us**

@Yandere_Theory

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback, creatively expressed through the art of humor.

It's truly a gift to receive such a detailed critique delivered in meme form - truly original!

We're flattered that you've taken the time to "meme-ify" our work, and while we'll keep your genius suggestions in mind, please rest assured that we're already aware that things aren't perfect. After all, we're only human - or, in your case, a walking, talking meme generator.

You get a gold star!


If you ever decide to pivot from meme-making to actual suggestions, feel free to send them our way. We promise we'll read them - or, at least, try not to laugh too hard.

Keep the creative energy flowing!


Best regards,

@kiwifails
Global Moderator
HR Department
onionfarms.com

kiwifails said:

**Subject: Re: Your Memes of Us**

@Yandere_Theory

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback, creatively expressed through the art of humor.

It's truly a gift to receive such a detailed critique delivered in meme form - truly original!
View attachment 85105
We're flattered that you've taken the time to "meme-ify" our work, and while we'll keep your genius suggestions in mind, please rest assured that we're already aware that things aren't perfect. After all, we're only human - or, in your case, a walking, talking meme generator.

You get a gold star!
View attachment 85106

If you ever decide to pivot from meme-making to actual suggestions, feel free to send them our way. We promise we'll read them - or, at least, try not to laugh too hard.

Keep the creative energy flowing!

View attachment 85107
Best regards,

@kiwifails
Global Moderator
HR Department
onionfarms.com

Click to expand...

this is wild

Yandere_Theory said:

this is wild

Click to expand...

*Automated message*
@Yandere_Theory

Wow, we're impressed. We've never seen anyone bring the party to an HR thread quite like you have. However, we're going to have to ask you to tone it down a notch (or five). This isn't a happy hour gathering, and we don't have a budget for virtual cocktails or a photo booth.
we appreciate your enthusiasm, but we do need to keep things professional-ish in here. So, please refrain from getting too wild and crazy (we know, we know, the struggle is real.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation
and for not making us have to send out a search party to find the missing professionalism.

Best regards,
@kiwifails global moderator
HR Representative
They/Them/Their
Purr/purrs/purr's

Frosty Fetus said:

They fixed the site.

tsk

My dick cheese was too strong.

Click to expand...

Dear Frosty Fetus,

We hope this message finds you well. We just wanted to touch base with you regarding the "dick cheese" you mentioned bringing to the virtual party in the HR thread. We're thrilled that you're excited to share some snacks with the team and we're more than happy to have you contribute to the festivities!

However, we did want to clarify a few things. Could you please let us know what kind of dip or crackers you plan on serving with the dick cheese? We want to make sure that we have a variety of options available for everyone to enjoy. Also, will you be bringing enough for the whole team, or should we plan on supplementing with some additional dick cheese?

We saw your follow-up comment about sharing the dick cheese at @YandereTheories' supposed "wild party" and we have to say, we're a bit confused. We understand that you want to share your dick cheese with the team, but this is an HR thread, not a party planning committee. We're afraid there will be no parties, wild or otherwise, and definitely no dick cheese.

Let us be clear: this is a space for discussing HR-related topics, not for planning social gatherings or sharing... unusual snacks. We're happy to have you participate in the conversation, but please keep the discussion focused on work-related topics.

So, while we appreciate the offer, we'll have to decline the dick cheese. But thank you for thinking of us!

Best regards
@kiwifails global moderator
HR Representative
They/Them/Theirs
Purr/purrs/purr's

Crimson Fucker said:

I would lock users in the sperg cage with me and post horrible shock images as a form of punishment.

Click to expand...

Subject: Re: Community Management Proposal
@crimsonfucker,

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to address your recent proposal regarding community management on Onionfarms.com. As your HR representative and Global moderator/admin, it is my duty to evaluate your ideas and provide a formal response.

While we appreciate your enthusiasm, I'm afraid we can't allow you to turn our forums into a digital dungeon, no matter how entertaining you think it might be. Locking users in a "sperg cage" and subjecting them to shock images isn't exactly the kind of community engagement we're looking for on Onionfarms.com. However we are always open to new ideas. However
From a liability perspective, subjecting users to shock images would be a costly endeavor. Our insurance premiums would skyrocket, and we'd have to start selling Onionfarms.com merchandise just to cover the cost of therapy sessions for our users. I mean, have you seen the price of virtual therapy? It's like $500 an hour, and we just can't fit that into our budget. We're a community forum, not a financially viable platform.

As you know, our community guidelines are in place to ensure a (somewhat) sane and respectful environment for all users. Your proposed "punishment" method doesn't quite align with those guidelines, and I'm pretty sure our users wouldn't appreciate the, ahem, "special treatment." Or maybe they would - no kink shaming here.

So, here's the deal. We'll have to decline your request for permission to post in that subforum with the intention of, well, you know. However, we do appreciate your interest in contributing to our community, and we're happy to have you participate in discussions that don't involve virtual torture.

Let's focus on keeping the conversation free of images of unspeakable atrocities, okay? We're looking forward to seeing your future contributions to our community.

Best regards
@kiwifails global moderator
HR Representative
They/Them/Theirs
Purr/purrs/purr's

HmmmmmYesTheFloorIsFloorHere said:

*taps mic* is this thing on?

Click to expand...

Please refrain from tapping the microphone..