I'd rather see the person that led me on no longer be in my life than having to see them in my discord. Even if they are not active, it still bothers me to see their account. I'm respecting my friend's wishes because I love them with all of my heart but it still pains me to see a scum around my fruitful garden. I've offered enough sympathy, forgiveness, & compromises. It's as if me and my dear friend have been forgotten because of her advancement in life but with what she has done to me will never warrant any forgiveness. I have reflected on what she has done to me last night and used this knowledge to imagine a potential harmful future from her presence in my fruitful garden. And if she dare tries to overload a calm get together into a downward spiral of her problems that she causes onto herself. I will inform the newcomers of her malicious deeds and she will be the gossip of the garden.
The previous lady that wronged me in similar manner withered away in my life. To this day I have a hard on for her but I don't have to bare witness to such a shit stain on the floor. Hopefully she has taken her pathetic life and she can't hurt another man's heart such as my shattered. Those days of being quiet are over. I have not yet had a respectful separation rather those full of games and mistreatment. Soon though, I hope this individual leaves my life in every way. She is a lost soul that refuses the hands of purity. May she just no longer be in my sight.
A night of foolery is what I fell for. When the words started to spill out of her mind I should have turned my back and offered no help. My ears should have turned deaf, her cries no where near me. Stepping away from the computer would have saved me such grief and I would have never gave my heart away the way I did. Something inside me told me that she was just a women and no more. If we can even sustain a definition of that since she is abdominal. Her presence is such an annoyance to me. Sitting at the lunch table and having to be assigned to the same table as her is what I feel. I would rather sit next to the trash than sit at the same table as her. My bullets would only be aimed at her, not anyone else related; just her.
Last night though, as I was sitting in my room in the quiet listening to the wind outside of a cold night, it came to my senses her life is nearing to a tragic end. Feelings of despair came over me and I heard the cries of her future. A future I personally wish not to see. I could not tell if I would see it or not, the after thought came; of me not knowing what would happen to her. Sitting in my discord with my wives not knowing as we communion together with video games & sleep calls as she dies outside of my realm. A body so riddled with damage. Some of it not her fault, some of it is. Me & my dear friend tried to give her fruit from our hands and she took it just to step on our fruitfulness. Every step she takes leaves a path of rot and foul. Her spirit is a stench of musk of an old to never reform.
Could it be, my heart once again shattered to be her final checkpoint? And onward it's misfortune in her journey? Optimism of progression in the next year but after her past comes back to reclaim her life? She started a war with my soul without even realizing, though fear over took her as she felt my over bearing presence in her mind. Of my rage and destruction upon her. Wrath will be from not me but something else that cares about me. She is very distracted and will continue to be for a long time until she finds the intellect to use a forum site such as this. That's if she does in time. While she is distracted, her curse will catch up to her. One I never made but something that feels the strain of my heart and will act against her for her wrong doing. Once a women breaks my heart and we don't separate in absolute respect, many of my past lovers fall victim of their own will. Misery, suffrage, loneliness, and death is what follows them so ever long behind but so ever cleverly close. Their souls forever tapped in their false narratives of reality.
How can what I deemed as my best friends at a time be so cold? Though, they will become what they are when everything they did catches up to them.
