He has no wifeHe has no job
He has no friends
There's some posts on Onion that he's gotta cleanse
He can cook hot pockets when he needs to
At 300 pounds, he's a big guy (for you)
Receives no pay
He does it for free
Takes it very seriously anyway
He has no kids
There’s some cows on Kiwi that he’s gotta befriend
He can boil a burger, when he needs to