Celebrities, public figures, current events, internet drama

Who can be a part of our community? All races, ethnicities, religions, gay or straight, cis or trans: We don't care. If you can rock with us: You are one of us. Kiwifarms may disable or restrict registration. We don't. We're here for you and always will be.

If you have a technical issue with Xenforo: Please post your request in the Town Square or the Talk to Staff (If you want more privacy) and one of us will check it out to address your concerns.Thank you for all your forum contributions (Owner - Onion Null).


I have reached out to my developer regarding the Search function. He is aware of what is going on and is currently working on it.


Community Featured Submissions:

Introductions

Syrup

queen opee the great
Hellovan Onion
I live in a CIA prison. A nigger runs my prison. In prison, the nigger tries to torment me. We can take away his knives by confessing, every day. In about 2000, I masturbated fantacizing about my niece, Lani. She looks like Star Trek Seven of Nine! In 1985, at my sister's wedding, I stuck my crotch on the hot tub drain because it kinda sucked. In 1985, I tried to get a dog to lick my dick. From 1998-2003, I fantacized about leading a Catholic army like Dune, of Mexicans or Brazilians? That was dumb because they're niggers. In 2003, I played tag with a black girl about 7-years-old. She reached for my crotch. In high school, in the library, Carlos and I said 'juicy' or 'toxic' as a way of evaluating girls. In 1988, I cheated on my SAT by talking in the hall during the break -- two problems. On 9/9/1999, I killed a CIA nigger on purpose with my car. :-) In 1982, when I was 12, I babysat Kevin's kids. I changed a diaper because I thought that was being professional. In 1975, when I was about age five, my brother, Keith, put my penis in a vacuum. In 1977, when I was about age seven, my brother, Danny, got me high on gas fumes and we sucked each other's dicks. Dr. Tsakalis had an oddly round ass. Paul Keck at Xytec had an oddly round ass. Distracting? At about age five, Jay Weinrick and I touched dicks to each other's assholes.
What do we do all day?
We beat the nigger because the nigger cannot understand what a random number is.
We beat the nigger because the nigger thinks the brain does timer tongues.
We beat the nigger because he thinks TempleOS is real mode.
 
Hello, I am nil, like null but less gay, used in superior languages like LISP, Pascal and go and not gay languages like C++ or JavaScript.
 
Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
shit was so cash.jpg
 
I like turtles (and want a place to laugh at weirdos just in case Null pulls the plug, and I also hope there's a bit more chill here but lmao @ me for having hope)


But mostly I like turtles
 
I really love minions. Every day when I was little I would watch Despicable Me, Minions, and Despicable Me 2. The only porn I can get off to is minion porn. Every time I have sex with my girlfriend I have to dress her in a minion suit. She screams when I do, so I have to use tape to keep her still and silent. My house is plastered with minion wallpaper, my carpet is just a small child's rug with a minion on it. All of my clothes are blue and yellow. My shirts are all minion merchandise. I really love minions.
 
Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the animal crossing dog so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the town hall I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Isabelle. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Isabelle's tight dog pussy. I want her to have my mutant human/dog babies.

Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbors dog. I'd dressed her in my sister's skirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my 3DS. I might not ever get to see Isabelle again.
 
When I was about 5 years old I had this Swamp Thing action figure that had a retractable hand on a string, I guess for grabbing bad guys or whatever. I had invited this kid over to my house to play after kindergarten and he turned out to be really weird. He ended up sneaking into my mom's room and shoving the retractable hand up my cats butt and the cat started running around the house with the swamp thing dangling out of his ass onto the tile floor. Me and my mom freaked out as this kid was sitting there cackling like a fucking banshee and she immediately called his mom to come and get him. I never saw that kid again.
 
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