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FedGov Desk Mummies Getting Laid Off

Wow, the ban hammer has really been coming down lately on /r/fednews, gee, I wonder why after all the posts about selling out to the Russians and Chinese, while threatening to carry out encrypted e-mailbombs. And let's not forget the sudoku posts that they admit are getting banned now to cover up those forms of public blackmail as well.

"im an idiot that got shadowbanned for this post", I've never seen this tag on /r/fednews before, are they now shadowbanning people?

RFednewsShadowBanTag.jpg



Small Business Admin & HUD are also doing extra security checks. Over at HUD: "Today we received a paper on how to respond to a bomb threat. I work in a regional office of hud"

SmallBusinessAdminSecCheck.jpg


HUDPaperHow2Respond2Terries.jpg



Look at all these checked out feds who a couple of weeks ago were acting tough telling each other to "hold the line" and shit like that. They openly admit it's better for theit mental health to just check out and stop caring:

FedsAreCheckingOut.jpg



"I’ve more or less checked out at work, don’t volunteer to learn new processes or anything (what’s the point?) since I don’t see myself surviving a RIF."

FedsAreCheckingOut01.jpg



Remember those feds who are couple of weeks ago were bragging about how everyone in corporate is just waiting to hire them once they're laid off?

Here's the reality of feds pre-emptively job hunting: "I do know some who are pre-emptively job hunting (still employed but sort of waiting every day for the email that ends their career). And they are really, really struggling. Dozens or hundreds of applications carefully prepared and sent , only to receive automated rejections or to be ghosted by recruiters/whomever."

FedsPreEmptivelyJobHunting.jpg



Here's another: "So now, I don't have a job, can't find another job, lost my dream drop that took 8 months to get", these people were basically groomed to work nowhere else but in government, but instead of realizing they were set up to fail this way, by not gaining any commercial experience and developing job resilience, instead they are developing... insomnia:

LostAJobCantFindAJob.jpg



"I feel like the lazy unproductive worker they claim we are because they've paused all of our operations.", naw, you're just telling on yourselves now:

TheLazyUnproductiveWorker.jpg



You know one of my favourite type of posts on /r/fednews is feds posting their meds (Trazodone https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trazodone is an anti-depressant):

FedsStillPostingTheirMeds.jpg



Some are discovering Greek philosophy:

FedsNotGivingAnFAnymore.jpg



Two millennial feds commiserating: "what did I expect, I'm a millennial. Why would anything good happen to those of us who did everything right."

MillennialFedsDidEverythingRight.jpg


 
A recurring topic of ire on /r/fednews is RTO (Return to Office) mandates. As you can imagine, a lot of the younger desk mummies really hate those, because how dare anyone ask them to interact with humans IRL. When someone posted a poll showing that 49% of feds actually support RTO mandates, the younger feds immediately assumed that 49% must be all of the boomer feds, because who the fuck is a zoomer and actually wants to be around other humans?

49PercentOfFedsAreBoomers.jpg
49PercentOfFedsAreBoomers01.jpg



OMG, 49% of feds support RTO?! Those must surely be boomers who hate their wives at home and want access to the office so they can hit on female co-workers! Again, this is how public servant zoomers feel about boomers, because zoomers themselves are never sexpests hitting on their co-workers online instead of IRL.

More I read these posts from feds bitching about Return to Office mandates and having to be around other humans, the more I am starting to believe that the FedGov is full of sickly germophobic OCDs with agoraphobia:

FedsOCDGermophobiaAgoraphobia.jpg



Pretty sure there's less germs in the office than at Vivian Strange's queer sex clubs in Portland, but y'all don't seem to mind about germs or catching anything when visiting those. Gee, I wonder why:

FedsOfficeLikeAHospitalWard.jpg



"Those moldy Cold War office buildings aren't the height of luxury and cleanliness", naw, don't blame the building for y'all being too unsantitary and crusty to take a hot shower and use deodorant:

FedsColdWarOfficeBuildings.jpg



And again, Joe the Pleb shows up to give the feds a reality check: "yall are detached from the rest of the workforce who serves your food, delivers your dry cleaning, fixes your broken stuff at home, etc."

FedsDetachedFromTheRest.jpg


 
/r/fednews mods were trying to be funny today with their AutoMod bot message:

April1stRFednewsPartneringWithOnlyFedsDatingApp.jpg


Someone should actually make this dating app, I bet a lot of desk mummies are on the verge of getting divorced now that they got fired.
 
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