Oh Victoria. You know. If I was your husband I would give up my last name and also have you give up yours. And our last names would Crescenthart. Because your soul reminds me of nights like this. I just went for a long slow drive in my corvette and I was passing my old high school, I was passing the many bus stops, I was passing a lot of things that I reminiscence about. And it had me ponder ridiculousness stories inside my head, and as the wind with it's chill passed upon my flesh and I gazed into the nightly dark country sky above; I played movies inside my head of how things would have been different if your soul was manifested at the same as mine in the same place. I became, very sentimental. I became, very vulnerable because of such imaginations, I became very sorry for you and for everything I have done in retaliation because I do perceive you as someone that broke me into half. I will never probably feel what you felt throughout those years and I don't expect you to ever trust me again which is fine. I have issues. But again, I will say; If we were manifested together in the same place at the same time and we went to the same schools. *getting emotional*, You would have never ever had to feel such pain upon you. You would have been loved by me so much that, you'd never wanted to even touch something else that made you feel good. Pertaining to substances. The only parties you would go to are the ones in our own home when we are alone together. That isn't a sexual insulation, that just means a simple relaxation with you as we gazed into each others eyes. And yes you would be Victoria Crescenthart. Victorian & Crescent Moon. And you would have loved that name. I would have done your hair as if I was a homosexual barber LOL, and I would have put ribbons in your hair and I would have dyed your hair the way you wanted it to be. I would have done your makeup, I would have helped you pick dressed, I would have met your best friends. We would have went to prom, we would have helped each other with assignments and homework. We would have started something so amazing it took our breaths away. And you would never ever creep me out. If anything you would have made me smile as I would have wanted the same for you. I just don't understand why you feel the need to just observe me, observe my thread, just keep an eye on me. I accept that the dream I have of us will never be reality. The ship was never even set for sail because we weren't manifested together. I don't have any desire to want to go after you anymore... if that's what makes you feel better, there you go. Just tell me how much of a piece of shit I am. Tell me that I'm pathetic. Tell me that all I ever did was hurt you and I've caused you so much pain. And once you do that just go live your life. Go be the popular person now thanks to fishtank. Go stream and build your community. Just go live your life and I hope you do find your soulmate. Just leave me alone. Just leave me to my own world. And I will leave you to yours.