I ponder where clarity goes beyond questioning. A common theme is realized. "Overdose". My aunt "overdosed", My half brother "overdosed". And my grandparents died a slow painful death. One of cancer, the other heart failure due to drinking. The cancer caused by exposing the body to garbage by consuming large amounts of processed food over a long period of time. The heart failure, drinking excessively and the doctor warned to slow down. My half brother's father died a slow death too, via breathing problems due to weight. The man weighed around 500 pounds and died in a nursing home. He was a terrible father, not only that my half brother stole everything from his bank account. went to Colorado and left a girl stranded there after "vacation". Her name was Jane. Bluest eyes, natural beautiful blonde hair, loved my half brother to bits and pieces. Today I got quite the phone call. Threatening and very cocky. Because of the other day. "You will eat your words". "You have it coming to you". "That is my home". Ever since the month of August. I remember the day every clearly where I escaped into my wonder land of the place I go to hike. To breathe easy, to be free and have peace ever lasting. But when I came home on a Wednesday funny enough, it all started. The fights, the hurt, the torture, the drinking, the yelling, the everything. The meds didn't do anything but destroyed what was already damaged. She stopped taking them back in I believe around this time last year. What SSRIS exactly I'm not sure but the doctors were suspicious of something like it was the scene from Ed Gein. You see, our two hemispheres of our brains operate in difference of one another, one being of logic, one being of imagination and well, if trauma caused a split, if drinking rewired the brain in such a way, then it must have split the two worlds completely and with it a case of Narcissism under the covert umbrella. Tragedy spells it all. Narcissism was birthed within her at young age due to her mother and her father, then it bled into the worlds of her offspring. My brother for instance would have to deal with the drinking, the demonic nature, the loud music on school nights when he was supposed to be resting for whatever the conditioning institutions had in store for him the following day. Because of everything, at 16 he left. Angry, upset, emotional, broken, confused, and greatly disappointment in my mother. And well, as the story goes. ran with the wrong crowd, was imprisoned, then ran with the wrong crowd again and well, "overdosed", just like my aunt. So what gives? Why am I saying such sensitive stuff? well, the threat I got today by this broken individual entails many imaginations. On one hand it could be another rant and rave about how it's my fault like how it's everyone else's' fault. On the other, she means it to the extent she wants to make things uncomfortable for me. And well, the last time someone did such a thing to me that it caused so much anger, such much hatred, so much fucking despair. They died a long fucking death. One that was so comedic to me, one where the person didn't even get a head stone on his pathetic fucking grave. If this bitch really means what she's saying, then not only is she pissing on my half-brother, because he's also her son, and he wouldn't want this for me, she is signing her death warrant. And I will fucking have her destroyed in so many ways it'll be like overkill. I'm done being the peacemaker just to have shit thrown into my face. The torment, the explosive fights, the narcissism I had to put up with, the everything. I will make sure she goes out in way that she fucking suffers. It's quite rare for me to do this but, she leaves me no other choice if she means what she says. Because a month ago I thought it was all over and we would move on with our lives like whatever but it appears this fucking bitch wants war. She's going to get it if she wants it.
