Freeze Peach 🍑 ₊˚⊹ ࿔

Used for controversial topics that hinge upon 1st amendment concerns vs. Fed posting. Please Note: Genuine threats advocating violence that are in violation of federal law will not be tolerated.
I was bored so I started researching my local area. It makes me feel stupid because of how very little I know about the history. I mean yeah. Textile Factories, Mills, Old Courts. That shit is simple but knowing the big families, the highlights through the years like the first telephone line and railroad. It would be cool if there was the possibility of being in the shoes of every person during any given time historically speaking. You imagine how many states there are, then break it down to counties, then to cities & towns. It's fucking crazy how deep things go especially in the south. A town I live 30 mins away from, the first mayor ever of it was a confederate soldier and was entrusted as mayor because his dad was the first to implement the cotton jin in the whole entire state. So he came from money. Built mills and houses for people so they crowned him mayor after being charitable. And the other mayors later on, I recognize one of them were a part of a huge family in the 1950s where I went to school with his great great grandchildren. Then to know there were 3 high schools in a radius of just one nowadays is also bizarre. So I can't even imagine the historical stories of the other counties in my state alone. Unfortunately archived images and deep summaries are like finding gold because people during those times of course didn't carry a camera in their pockets, nor did they post them to the internet because the shit didn't even exist yet so you can only know if you are tight with the local clique which I'm not but I did know a guy that was a writer of the local pressed. Did that job for so many years and happily retired until he succumbed to a fall at an old age. It's just so fascinating how there is endless lore that is near to impossible to obtain because of the lack of technology at the time. It also makes you appreciate the sense of human life in a way. The networking and threads that is the social dynamics of every family, every person and every community that materialize concepts like towns and milestones within those communities that make up counties. Living on the internet has made be forget those little things and appreciate them even though I was even around yet. It also reminds me. I need to step off the express train which is the internet and turn pages rather than binge content. Not read a book necessarily but immerse myself in history, lores, and understandings of times way back then. Doing my deep dive for the past hour has intrigued me way more than a youtube video. I suggest anyone reading this to research your local area and come to an understanding of it. You might find interest you never thought you would have once you do that deep dive.
 
^
In addition. I wish I was a god at a more authentic beautiful thing that brings people closer rather than experiencing one another through impressions because I saw a clip or because someone posted what normies call "story times".

I'm an college drop out. IT specifically because I saw the shit boulder rolling down the hill years before AI became mainstream. I saw that Software Engineering was going to get raped out of positions because of AI.

So I can't code for shit. But if I had someone that would code me anything and make it work. I'd pay them good because I'm one hell of an idea maker. I want something that I influenced, call it reinventing the wheel but to me it would be tweaking it and making it out of a refined material not pumping it with algorithms or AI.

Because when I did my deep dive. I was seeing the beauty in community. It reminded me of when I built one. It was slow, it was close and it was authentic. Once someone sky rockets to a popularity level, the bridge falls into the river of rush rather than being a steady flow of community. I want something that prevents that bridge from collapsing. A bridge that allows any number of people to cross it but there is a limit of how many can go on it at a time. For instance. 100,000 can cross it but only 100 can cross it at a time. So by the time that first 100 get to the other side, I get to build a foundation with those people, befriend some of them, and be ready to accept 100 more.

That instant skyrocket to where so many people know you and they talk to you. You never get to actually build a community. Instead you have millions on your island that are your fans, very rarely are any of them your friends because of "parasocial". Yeah you make your money and get your views or users but being parasocial isn't my thing. I had 15 good people on my 14,000 sub youtube channel. To me, I felt like I had a 1,000 good people.

I hope whoever reads this understand where I'm coming from and what I'm getting at.
 
censorship.png


censorship at it's finest

Because I posted youtube videos that had Nazis in it.
 
When exploring the uncharted nature of Psychology. You must be observant and not apply characteristics to your own. But later understand how yours correlates to the available information. Perhaps mine is not constant. Perhaps it's a mixture. Mine is a cycle of loops. One's I struggle or put no willpower into breaking. When I do though break some of them, I get handed more one's to break. My psychology is very healthy in my perspective but unhealthy when it comes to my person progression. Not in "ethics" or well being. Under the umbrella of success and capture. I am over the past but fail to reap the present for the better meant of my future. Some can argue. Your a chronic user on onion farms most of the time obsessing over Vicky. Me obsessing over her is not the problem. And it's not obsession. I use her as a punching bag for my own enjoyment. I'm a sadist and I enjoy causing pain and suffrage to those that cross me. Not to the birds or the bees or purely innocent people. But when I feel as if I'm insulted at great lengths, I become vengeful holding hatred and resentment to no end toward the individuals that provoked it in the first place because of their filthy decisions toward me. But none of that is holding me back. I'm holding myself back. I believe in the light of my desires as well as those of Rose. Researching depression has made me realize how disadvantaged someone like her is. Understanding brain chemistry, wiring and the behavior patterns of one with depression has reminded me to be mindful rather than annoyed & bothered. It's an individual that can be helped. But by default struggles not because of them but because of their psychology. It's not laziness. It's the low reward system in motion. A quick AI search will declare this and it's not news. Unfortunately it's the mechanism of depression. Just like how Anxiety prevents one from stepping into the dark or being alone for long periods of time. It's not them. It's their brain making them struggle to use willpower. It's holding a beach ball under water. It can be broken, this invisible cycle but it's difficult. I have to use her situation to allow myself morale that can be found within not something I can see happen outside of me. It's a disadvantage that doesn't allow momentum in her life and I try to remind myself of it without getting angry. The Discord server that Vicky destroyed remains the way it has been for 2 years. You have a depressed person struggling to get anywhere in life who had friends that could have helped her in the past but disposed of her. She regrets the soft porn she posted on the internet and finds busyness to ensure there is some motion in her life but hardly has time to talk on a server. If I were to compare the volume of my activity to hers, it's 1/10. Again, this is the mind of a depressed person and it's must be minded. But it's a reality I loathe and seethe about. I used to at work, getting up at work, when I feel empty on nights that I don't work the next day and I keep seeing max's face in my head and it would lead to wrath and rage while a discord server is scorn of any color. And there's me. The wage slave in a factory. Part time wage slave hoping night shift jobs. Putting effort into the discord server that Vicky ruined that rose can't keep up with because of her Psychology. So I use Onion Farms as a place to "cope" while damaging the reputation of those that contributed to my past misery and suffrage. And for the past 2 years it has been like this but ever since March my dynamic has been different and for the better because my life has improved because of my perseverance but I have not found the footing to climb my mountain yet. Almost winning the lottery on August 24th has been a morale boost for me in general. It has allowed me to see clearly of the success of the discord server that has laid dormant. It has allowed my desire to own this website and soemo. But I'm not there yet. Time is still slow. And slowness still persist in my life. With both of our minds broken down into simply fashion. I have used this introspection to ensure potential. Rose is broken but happy in Japan. I'm vengeful, hateful, sadistic, anti-social but optimistic and will be friendly to those that wish the best for me rather than use me as someone to be walked over. With the 500,000 being reached. it's an alarm for me to go at a speed of a god. And it is a number that should be a warning to those that have deceived me such as Max and Vicky. I will be the one that laughs last. While they dwell in isolation. While they sulk in heaviness. Their lives have been over while mine was always starting. They tried to destroy what was beautiful. So now they are suffering the consequences.
 

Online statistics

Members online
4
Guests online
219
Total visitors
223

Visitor Heatmap

Back
Top Bottom