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I'm almost certain that there's still people who hate watch this thread because they don't like me for some reason or another - I always feel digital paranoia and that people from my past are still around because they never really change and project these things onto me, and sometimes there's new people who just use me as a sort of toy for self entertainment. I don't really use social media anymore and just stick to forum sites since they've been pleasant, and the thing is I have no issues with anybody and have said this since my arrival here - and this even goes for people in my past who have kept tabs on me for years, and new fags alike.


I watched this video just now and it's interesting to me because I've had thoughts like this about how scary eternity would be, not being able to die. Both are just as scary as the next - life and death, and eternal life would eventually become hell for the self and the ego. I've thought a lot about what occurs after death though I follow the self and absurdism and will live day by day until I kick the bucket - then I'll see for myself what happens,

until then I will try to live. I've decided I will probably look into a psychiatrist just because I believe meds would honestly be of use for my brain 肉 and I have been distancing myself more than usual which actually scares me and makes me feel so isolated and alone, but I know I need to be the one to choose to make changes in my life.

I shut down my website some time ago because I can just use this place to post my thoughts,
I just don't have the money for things like that but maybe I should get a job,
but even when I have money and can buy nice things I still don't feel any happier,

maybe I just need to keep finding new media to consume.

 
digital paranoia

Fucking GREAT band name

I don't really use social media anymore and just stick to forum sites since they've been pleasant

Hahaha, welcome to my world.

I've decided I will probably look into a psychiatrist just because I believe meds would honestly be of use for my brain 肉 and I have been distancing myself more than usual which actually scares me and makes me feel so isolated and alone, but I know I need to be the one to choose to make changes in my life.

That's probably a really good idea, for everyone. Maybe not every person needs pills, but everyone certainly needs an outlet and advice from a trained professional who knows how the mind can manipulate itself.

I just don't have the money for things like that but maybe I should get a job,
but even when I have money and can buy nice things I still don't feel any happier,

Haha, welcome to adulting. Don't worry, I can assure you at 41 that you've already had the best years of your life. Now you'll be slaving away hoping that you die before you get to the age where you retire and just waste away while you're waiting to die.

I'm kidding, of course. Work blows, but the good times outweigh the bad. Or maybe it's like how childbirth is the hardest pain you'll ever feel but the easiest to forget... Maybe the good times are remembered so fondly and the bad times have forgotten so easily. Either way, I've enjoyed 41 years of this existence thus far, and I'm hoping there's something that comes after.

maybe I just need to keep finding new media to consume.

Here's 3 minutes of out of context r rated ren and stumpy

 
Thank you for not posting the clip. I already had an anxiety attack at the grocery store today lol.
I have it but I'm not allowed to post it publicly
 
Some bitch hit her kid too hard. Kid started screaming. Kid was like, SHRIEKING. Wanted to punch her, or at least scream at her, but babe was like "DON'T" and I had to go out to my car and pop a Clonazepam and feel like I was having a heart attack for 15 minutes while it kicked in.
Clonazepam Dreams
 
Never have I had a dream that involved running people over with a car. It was some festival that involved colorful aesthetics. They were wearing thongs and strange material. There was a point keeper on the dash of the car. As I hit people, there would be +100. If I hit up to 10 people per contact it was +1000. If I hit non-binaries it was 10x the amount I hit. The car was indestructible as well. Seem to me it was a Pontiac made of pure metal. The dream ended too short sadly.
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Then last night I had a dream about my boo boo Vicky. She called me the milk man and was on here knees with her tongue out. There were 10 loads I fired off onto her and she kept asking for more but I was drained. Then she started sucking me off and for some reason my balls filled up with semen again so I fired off more into her mouth. Silly thing is, I woke up and there was no wet spot on my bed.

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I'm so happy for the whites in Arkansas that made their own village. If I was rich I would do the same thing. Hopefully get some trouble deranged white women to pack in as well like my boo boo Vicky. Get some trailer trash alternative women in my village. When you have a white only place, you don't have to worry about leaving a bicycle out in your back yard. Now imagine if they opened up a white only supermarket. Things would much more simpler The supermarket wouldn't be robbed. Douchebag products would not be sold. You don't have to witness the women wearing trash bags on top of their heads. To add insult to injury, the only other race that would be allowed is Asian pussy. Asian women wax you between your legs and for some reason you bust with no hand job required. Sometimes when I see those Asian women at a Chinese restaurant, I just want them to wax my balls so I can bust when they rip my pubes off. They would giggle and say "you cum so big".

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Why are people shooting people? The answer is simple. If they were black, the answer was already answered. But for white people it's really just seething at society due to how broken some shit is. Take this for example. You have a wife, you find out shes screwing some fuck. What comes to mind? Wild shit. When your insurance company rips you off even though you were not at fault, what comes to mind? Another one within a list of 100s of things. When your boomer grandparents have all of this money and they blow it on stupid shit that doesn't appreciate, what comes to mind? Murder!

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We Miss You Randy! You Were Always A Cutie! <3
Now don't get me wrong. Money is the root of all evils but wouldn't it be great to just knock some cranky old bitch over and take her pension? Absolutely! That's what nursing homes are for. For niggers to beat them to death while the place takes a fat check. Now not all old people are like this. If my grandparent saw I was working hard in this unfair market, if they were to spoil me I would want to buy them back the whole world even if it's cold. But when your boomer relative hasn't even cashed in their 500,000 401K it just makes you want to find ways to make their death seem like it was suicide and not some foul play involved!

ヴィッキーの自殺 !
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Now here's another thing that makes me yell slurs to the top of my lungs. When the speed limit is clearly double nickle and the bitch in front of you is going 35. It makes me unravel, the demons amplified in a concealed place such as the inside of a car. It's not just old people that do this shit. It's 9 times out of 10 a dumb white bitch. White women are an up and down disgrace. Take Vicky for example. She lost her license due to DUIS. Now let's play this movie for a second. What if she was driving one night perhaps on a high way. Nice little structured family strutting down the road with a minivan trying to get back home from a trip to some park. Vicky loses control of her vehicle because of her impaired judgement and runs into the opposing lane, hitting this van head on killing the whole fucking family but guess what, Vicky survives! She gets locked up and that's it. Just a life sentence and a dead family. That's too nice. Vicky should be stripped naked, put on a fucking cross and be whipped to death or perhaps stoned because stoning was usually used for whores, and the whole fucking country gets to watch it while vendors give out T-Shirts.


People like her who are women should be forced to have abortions period. Abortions shouldn't be a fucking political thing. It should be a punishment for sub-human fucking people like her. So that family that was going down the road one night doesn't die because of a piece of shit. I know her kids are going to come out fucked up or grow fucked up. They will become rapists a murders. Raised by trailer trash and a drunk. That's if the father is around. I cannot stand my own kind. They are a fucking disgrace.

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Anyways. I think Kuromi is an amazing character. If I change my PFP to it, I will get alternative pussy that doesn't do drugs.

ヴィッキーの自殺 !
 

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