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I have moved a thread started by Time 4 Guillotines into the Cowsphere and renamed it because he has unknowingly touched upon a very important topic
Cultural differences in the Cowsphere

Cowsphere - Periphery Cultural Differences in the Cowsphere

Someone who is in the periphery of the cowsphere or an orbiter without actually being a lolcow himself
Time 4 Guillotines

Time 4 Guillotines

It Goes It Goes It Goes... Guillotine! Yuh!
An Onion Among Onions
Three business associates, an Igbo man, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Igbo man was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"
 
Hahahahaha!! I just can't stop laughing. This
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?
 
John: bby am gonna tell u a story
with 4 parts. Remember that, 4 parts
Grace: alryt love
John: okay am gonna start wth part 1.
There was a husband n a wife, they
were driving to a camp site wen they
came upon a split road. The husband
says "lets take the left one. The wife
say i thnk we shuld take the right
road." The husband slaps the wife
across the face "whose driving me or
u?" and they took the left path.
Grace: hahahahaha..
John: now am gonna tell u part 2.
Once they got to the camp the
husband goes fishing so his wife can
cook dinner. He comes back and the
wife says "good now i can cook fish
soup for us to eat." The husband says
"but i wanna eat fried fish." The wife
slaps the husband n says "who is
cooking me or u?" and the ended up
drinking fish soup.
Grace: oh crap! Hahaha
John: now am gonna tell u part 4.
Grace: wat abt part 3?
John: (landed grace a hot slap on the
face) who is telling the story me or you?
 
Ekaitte went to the store to buy a parrot
trained in the USA and asks
the sales person;
"What's so special about this parrot ?"
Sales person says:
"This parrot is a genius and can answer any
question"
Ekaitte asks the parrot;
"How do I look?"
The parrot replies;
"You look like a fuckin slut?"
Ekaitte gets pissed off and tells the sales
person that its a very rude
parrot and she cannot buy it despite it
was trained in the USA.
The sales person tells Ekaitte to wait for 2
mins...
The sales person takes the parrot to the back
of the store and
shoves the parrot into a bucket of water
and when he pulls the
parrot out he says;
"if you disrespect the lady out there again
i'll soak you back in water" and takes the
parrot back to the store.
Th sales person apologized to Ekaitte and
says she can ask the
parrot another question.
Ekaitte: "If I come home with one man
what would you think?" Parrot: "He's your
husband"
Ekaitte: "Two men?"
Parrot: "Your husband and his brother"
Ekaitte: "Three men?"
Parrot: "Your husband, his brother and
your brother" Ekaitte: "Four men?"
At this time the Parrot turns to the Sales
person and says:
"Bring back the bleeping bucket of water
I already told you she's a
slut!!!"
 
A wife
went on holiday
leaving the husband
behind. The husband
got so Hot one day
that he decided to try the maid who
had just come from
Nsukka village and who
seemed clever. ... He
called the maid to his
bedroom where he had taken off his pants,
he
pointed to his manhood
when the maid arrived.
Husband: Do you know
what this is?
Maid: (actin Shy) Yes Husband: Do you know
what it s for?
Maid:Yes
Husband: show me. The
maid immediately
dropped to her knees held the item with both
hands
drew
closer and opened her
mouth. The husband
was shivering with anticipation . The maid
then began,"My name is
Chinasa , I'm 23 years
old and I'm from
Nsukka. I
want to make a shout- out to my parents,mr
and mrs Chigozie, my
uncle, Broda
NnamdI aka' chop my
money and MY auntY,
MRS IFEOMA, I would also
like to tell my boyfriend
Johnny that I miss him.
Can u play me Ashawo
by Flavour Nabania?"
Then finally says to the man," Oga,take your
microphone I'm
through...
 
Never argue with a woman, just use your
brains like this my guy.
A man went on a night out with his
friends the wife is furious and tells
the kids that when he comes back
they must not open the door for him.
At about12 o'clock the man comes
back and knocks...
the Wife tells him "go sleep where your
coming from " and the man
answered" I'm not here to sleep my
dia , I'm here to collect condoms in
my room on top of the table or give it
to me,
there'r lots of women at the party!"
The wife opened the door and said
"idiot" you are not going anywhere. Enter the house.
 
Akpos went to an electronic store, he asked
the storekeeper "what is the price of this TV?"
The storekeeper answered "we don't sell our
products to Akpos." Akpos again came next
day by cutting his beard and asked "what is
the price of this TV?" The storekeeper replied
"we don't sell our products to Akpos". The
next day Akpos came with a different face
and asked "what is the price of this TV?" The
shopkeeper replied "we don't sell our
products to Akpos." Finally Akpos got irritated
and asked the shopkeeper "how do you
recognise me every time?" The storekeeper
replied "because this is not a TV it is
Microwave Oven!"
 
One day at the end of class, a
teacher Mr.
Ofoka asked the whole class to go
home and
think of a story and then conclude
the moral of
that story.
The following day Mr. Ofoka came
into the class
and asked for the first volunteer
to tell their story.
little Suzy raises her hand and was
asked to go
ahead. "My dad owns a farm and
every Sunday we load
the chicken eggs on the truck and
drive into town
to sell them at the market. Well,
one Sunday we
hit a big bump and all the eggs
flew out of the
basket and onto the road."
Then Mr. Afoka asked for the
moral lesson of the
story. Suzy replied, "Don't keep all
your eggs in one
basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad
owns a farm too and every
weekend we take the chicken
eggs and put them
in the incubator. Last weekend
only 8 of the 12
eggs hatched."
Mr. Afoka also asked for the moral
lesson of the
story. Lucy replied "Don't count
your eggs before
they're hatched."
The last person was little johnny.
Johnny started like this: "My uncle
Tedra
fought in the Vietnam war; his
plane was shot down over enemy
territory. He
jumped out before it crashed with
only a case of
beer, a machine gun and a
machete. On the way
down he drank the case of beer.
Unfortunately,
he landed right in the middle of
100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot
70 with
his machine gun, but ran
out of bullets, so he pulled out his
machete and
killed 20 more. The blade of his
machete broke,
so he killed the last ten with his
bare hands".
Mr. Afoka looked at johnny in
shock and asked if
there is possibly any moral lesson
to his story.
Johnny replied, "Don't Bleep with
uncle Tedra when he's
been drinking!"
 
I wanted to use my ATM
card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated
me called my bank help line.
Me: (angrily) So what's
wrong with my ATM card.
Call girl : Sir, I have checked your
account, everything
is alright here and You should be
able to use your
card, are you sure your card is
not damaged or broken?
Me: Are you insane? What are
you insinuating? No
one takes good care of their ATM
card like I do.
Call girl: Okay Sir, are you also
sure the surface isn't
wet or stained with dirt?
Me: You dey mad? ATM card
wey I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card
 
one day four friends Anointed. Emmanuel.
Michael..and Sam went to the burial ceremony
of their friend in a certain village in ghana.
it is the custom and tradition of the village
that when a deceased is about to be buried,
his friends will put something in his/ her
casket.
Anointed had nothing to give at the moment
so he assisted the women in cooking and
serving foods and drinks to guests. that was
all he did.
Emmanuel put into the casket some expensive
wine worth of $3500. He said ''bros keep
shining your eyes till we meet again...good
bye''
Michael counted a reasonable amount of
money ($5,000) and put in the casket and
Said "my dear i could have given u more than
this, but due to economic crises in our
country , this is only what i can afford
now..use it to upkeep yourself till we meet
together once again''
The last person Sam wrote a cheque of $
15,000 put in the casket and collected
michael's $5000 and said. "nna you know that
the journey is too far, so i gave u the cheque
of fifteen thousand dollars, if you get to the
land of death, pls withdraw the whole
amount. my own ten thousand dollars plus
michael's five thousand dollars is fifteen
thousand dollars,,i have collected my change,
so all of the money is yours...try and be holy till
we meet again,,good bye''
 
@Cat Administrator just make your own OP instead of having a boomer moment and changing the title of my thread to something completely unrelated
Screenshot_20241105-140544.png

I no longer care about this
 
An armed robber broke into a house and
found a couple sitting at a table room.
pointing the gun he said,," let me know
the .names of my victims before i kill them..
WIFE: I am Martha
ROBBER: oh holy shit! my mother's name
Martha.. i cant kill Martha...(point ing the gun)
and u??
HUSBAND: Am Joseph,,,but all my friends call
me Martha i swear
hit like if u smile
 
In USA when husbands arrives from job,
"Hi honey am home"
In Britain,
"Hey sweetie am home"
In Nigeria
"have u paid the electricity bill and please boil this rice and roast the meat before it goes bad.

In USA after work she says
"Welcome honey,how's
Work then she kisses u"
In Britain,
"Welcome home my sweet husband I love u"
In Nigeria
"papa ajiri u are drunk i knew it you are coming from prostitutes house its fine.

In US when going to bed they say,
"Good night my love."
In UK,
"Sweet dreams darling."
In Nigeria
"My husband did u lock the door, windows and release bruno(the dog)"
 
Goodluck Jonathan, David Mark, Obasanjo
and former miss world Agbani Darego are
traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes
through a tunnel and
it gets completely dark. Suddenly
there is a kissing sound and then a
slap! The train comes out of the
tunnel. David Mark and Obasanjo are sitting
there looking perplexed. Goodluck Jonathan
is
bent over holding his face, which is red
from an apparent slap. All of
them remain diplomatic and nobody says
anything. David Mark is thinking:
"These men are all crazy after
Agbani Darego". Goodluck Jonathan must
have tried to
kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper
that she slapped him. Agbani Darego is
thinking: "Goodluck Jonathan must have
moved to kiss me, and kissed Obasanjo
instead
and got slapped." Goodluck Jonathan is
thinking:
"Damn it, Obasanjo must have tried to kiss
Agbani Darego, she thought it was me and
slapped me." Obasanjo is thinking:
"If this train goes through another
tunnel, I could make another kissing sound
and slap Goodluck Jonathan again".
 
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