Public Figure - Niche Katelyn Rose - A Doll's Playground.

The dreams I had yesterday were more vibrant, vivid and stranger than the usual, which was odd to me because it felt not like earth - then again dreams never do, but there was something especially special about the atmosphere and energy of the experiences I had yesterday when I was taking a nap during the day. It's rare for me to wake up from a dream and then be able to re-enter the same dream when falling back asleep, but it happened and there were things I saw that inspired me for future projects and things I'm currently working on. I also recall a fox in part of the dream, where it attacked me - only for it to eventually come to lick my wounds. The meaning of Fox-related dreams can be both positive and negative. Fox symbol. Represents adaptability, intelligence, and resourcefulness in navigating challenges. Can indicate deception, caution, or a warning to remain vigilant of hidden motives. I thought this was interesting when I looked into it, based on recent events. Throughout the rest of the dream I still had bite wounds and a large growing bruise on my leg, but the fox still followed me after amends were made. I really love to dream, there was so much that occurred that I would never be able to explain in enough detail that would be coherent within our waking world.

I always know I'm going to dream when I fall asleep,
but I never know what the dreams and atmospheres will entail until they're happening before me.
I once watched a dream's beginning and I think sound and audio begins as the starting point to dreams before things come into view.
Every time it's time for me to go asleep I'm excited not knowing where I'll end up.

- off topic but thanks @Catministrator for the verified check mark,
first member to have one.
pretty neat.

Doll said:

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The dreams I had yesterday were more vibrant, vivid and stranger than the usual, which was odd to me because it felt not like earth - then again dreams never do, but there was something especially special about the atmosphere and energy of the experiences I had yesterday when I was taking a nap during the day. It's rare for me to wake up from a dream and then be able to re-enter the same dream when falling back asleep, but it happened and there were things I saw that inspired me for future projects and things I'm currently working on. I also recall a fox in part of the dream, where it attacked me - only for it to eventually come to lick my wounds. The meaning of Fox-related dreams can be both positive and negative. Fox symbol. Represents adaptability, intelligence, and resourcefulness in navigating challenges. Can indicate deception, caution, or a warning to remain vigilant of hidden motives. I thought this was interesting when I looked into it, based on recent events. Throughout the rest of the dream I still had bite wounds and a large growing bruise on my leg, but the fox still followed me after amends were made. I really love to dream, there was so much that occurred that I would never be able to explain in enough detail that would be coherent within our waking world.

I always know I'm going to dream when I fall asleep,
but I never know what the dreams and atmospheres will entail until they're happening before me.
I once watched a dream's beginning and I think sound and audio begins as the starting point to dreams before things come into view.
Every time it's time for me to go asleep I'm excited not knowing where I'll end up.

- off topic but thanks @Catministrator for the verified check mark,
first member to have one.
pretty neat.

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Have you listen to dreamcore?

kiwifails said:

Have you listen to dreamcore?

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I actually love dream core and anything dream/weird/web core related, there's something comforting about it all especially when tying in with liminal spaces. I'll often listen to these types of playlists when going to sleep or white noise since I can't sleep if things are too silent in the room, at that point my mind starts coming up with weird auditory hallucinations to make up for the silence and it bothers me and makes me restless. Before bed, I also like to drink mugwort tea, take valerian root and wormwood capsules - and light incense. It's a relaxing sleep routine.

Doll said:

I actually love dream core and anything dream/weird/web core related, there's something comforting about it all especially when tying in with liminal spaces.

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Try low frequency sound waves with headphones on. The low soft rhythmic bass will melt your brain.

Doll said:

I'll often listen to these types of playlists when going to sleep or white noise since I can't sleep if things are too silent in the room, at that point my mind starts coming up with weird auditory hallucinations to make up for the silence and it bothers me and makes me restless.

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I don't need help with this

Doll said:

Before bed, I also like to drink mugwort tea, take valerian root and wormwood capsules - and light incense. It's a relaxing sleep routine.

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Why not just take real drugs, like psilocybin Before bed?

kiwifails said:

Try low frequency sound waves with headphones on. The low soft rhythmic bass will melt your brain.

I don't need help with this

Why not just take real drugs, like psilocybin Before bed?

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I've tried shrooms before, I'd never touch anything further than marijuana or shrooms, but even with shrooms and weed they can get a little expensive and not to mention I'm ninety pounds, so I'm careful and micro dose when I do shrooms especially just to feel nice, but it's rare for me, last time I did shrooms was probably two years ago now, with mugwort, valerian root and wormwood it's easy to get on amazon and cheap, and I don't have to worry about accidentally going past a limit and ending up in a situation where I start hyperventilating from an anxiety attack, which has happened before when I did edibles that were too strong or went above micro dosing with shrooms, things I wouldn't recommend, but that's me being a light weight.

- This conversation reminded me how people on this thread in the past were trying to say that I've done gross shit like Heroine LOL, I still wonder about the wild head canons people were making up about me, maybe it was all self projections of their own guilty pleasures.

Doll said:

I've tried shrooms before, I'd never touch anything further than marijuana or shrooms, but even with shrooms and weed they can get a little expensive and not to mention I'm ninety pounds, so I'm careful and micro dose when I do shrooms especially just to feel nice, but it's rare for me, last time I did shrooms was probably two years ago now, with mugwort, valerian root and wormwood it's easy to get on amazon and cheap, and I don't have to worry about accidentally going past a limit and ending up in a situation where I start hyperventilating from an anxiety attack, which has happened before when I did edibles that were too strong or went above micro dosing with shrooms, things I wouldn't recommend, but that's me being a light weight.

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That's understandable. The cost for some drugs are prohibitive .
Personally, I prefer to avoid Amazon due to concerns about their seller vetting process.
Have you ever tried blue lotus?

kiwifails said:

That's understandable. The cost for some drugs are prohibitive .
Personally, I prefer to avoid Amazon due to concerns about their seller vetting process.
Have you ever tried blue lotus?

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I've never heard of blue lotus before, it sounds like a tea but I just googled what it is,
honestly, it's something I'd try. When I started using things like mugwort, valerian root, wormwood and so on I noticed a difference in lucidity and vividness within dreams and would sleep better at night, I might actually purchase some blue lotus to try.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/168517...01th--n5PviZk5KV8anO-70MHnsBprGcaAsrjEALw_wcB

Doll said:

I've never heard of blue lotus before, it sounds like a tea but I just googled what it is,
honestly, it's something I'd try. When I started using things like mugwort, valerian root, wormwood and so on I noticed a difference in lucidity and vividness within dreams and would sleep better at night, I might actually purchase some blue lotus to try.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/168517...01th--n5PviZk5KV8anO-70MHnsBprGcaAsrjEALw_wcB

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Egyptian blue lotus is supposed to induce a dreamlike state of mild euphoria. Datura stramonium, known by the common names thornapple, jimsonweed, or devil's trumpet. Is another one that grows wild throughout the United States but it's extremely dangerous and highly hallucinogenic.

kiwifails said:

Egyptian blue lotus is supposed to induce a dreamlike state of mild euphoria. Datura stramonium, known by the common names thornapple, jimsonweed, or devil's trumpet. Is another one that grows wild throughout the United States but it's extremely dangerous and highly hallucinogenic.

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With the way my brain works, I don't even really need hallucinogens' since when I sleep - my brain goes into a state where it's overly creative, something I've always been gifted with even when I was much younger. There were times during my teenage years that I'd have a black out sleep where nothing would occur, but this stopped after some time since I became increasingly curious about dreams when I started having lucid dreams and sleep paralysis, and then things went from there where there's never a night I don't dream or have some kind of experience that sticks with me when I wake up. During the days that I'm awake and conscious I'm always finding profound forms of media to consume, which might have a part in the things I dream about and why my imagination is so active. I would still try things like blue lotus, but when it comes to things that are increasingly potent I usually avoid because I could only imagine the things that my brain would create, and it scares me since if my dreams decide to be sadistic, they get extremely dark and beyond levels of horror that could ever be experienced in real life, and that's coming from me, someone whose house burned down and I almost died by burning alive if I hadn't escaped a moment sooner than when I did. There's something about my brain, whether it stems from mental problems or not that's always been able to create horrors within my dream realms that when they are occurring feel like they'd be enough to make my hair fall out when I wake up - and that's just how my mind can work against itself when I'm sober.



Me talking about all of this reminded me of a weird dream I had that made feel uncomfortable in an uncanny way when I woke up - where in the dream I was in my room, and I had a printer on my computer desk that kept printing out pieces of paper with inhuman corpse looking faces in black and white ink, and sometimes there would be pieces of paper printed out that said weird things that I can't fully recall what the text/writing said, and the dream continued like this for awhile until I eventually went to my closet and opened it, and inside there was a corpse of a boy hanging in the closet and the mouth was wide open and animated, moving rapidly in an unnatural way while the face was looking down at me with a dead expression, then when I looked over at the printer I realized that it was printing out the corpse's face and whatever it was saying through it's rapid mouth movement, then I woke up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and my heart was racing and I couldn't fall back asleep after that.

Doll said:

With the way my brain works, I don't even really need hallucinogens' since when I sleep - my brain goes into a state where it's overly creative, something I've always been gifted with even when I was much younger

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It happens to a lot of us it's because we're in a more relaxed state that's why dream journals exist

Doll said:

. There were times during my teenage years that I'd have a black out sleep where nothing would occur, but this stopped after some time since I became increasingly curious about dreams when I started having lucid dreams and sleep paralysis, and then things went from there where there's never a night I don't dream or have some kind of experience that sticks with me when I wake up. During the days that I'm awake and conscious I'm always finding profound forms of media to consume, which might have a part in the things I dream about and why my imagination is so active. I would still try things like blue lotus, but when it comes to things that are increasingly potent I usually avoid because I could only imagine the things that my brain would create, and it scares me since if my dreams decide to be sadistic, they get extremely dark and beyond levels of horror that could ever be experienced in real life, and that's coming from me, someone whose house burned down and I almost died by burning alive if I hadn't escaped a moment sooner than when I did.

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Do you get any PTSD triggers from things burning? Occasionally the smell of burnt toast.

Doll said:

There's something about my brain, whether it stems from mental problems or not that's always been able to create horrors within my dream realms that when they are occurring feel like they'd be enough to make my hair fall out when I wake up - and that's just how my mind can work against itself when I'm sober.

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Nightmares are unresolved trauma

kiwifails said:

It happens to a lot of us it's because we're in a more relaxed state that's why dream journals exist

Do you get any PTSD triggers from things burning? Occasionally the smell of burnt toast.

Nightmares are unresolved trauma

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I actually don't get PTSD triggers, I mean for the first few days lighting incense was a turn off for me, but I think the PTSD comes through dreams since I do sometimes still have nightmares of the events that unfolded, because it was bad-bad, the fire came up from the first floor neighbor and straight up into my room. If I had been in my room another minute or two longer I would had become trapped. I woke up in time since my roommate was pounding on my door ( I kept it locked so nobody would bother me ), and at that point my hard wood floors were already glowing red and my room was filled with smoke, got out nearly just in time before the section where my door is would had been engulfed. It's been nearly three years since the incident, how it happened was retarded too - downstairs neighbor left a candle near her tapestry she had on the wall and then she went to take a shower, and her bedroom was directly beneath mine, and this happened at around midnight when I was fast asleep.



Picture of just how large the fire got, the entire complex became engulfed.



After Math.

Doll said:

I actually don't get PTSD triggers, I mean for the first few days lighting incense was a turn off for me, but I think the PTSD comes through dreams since I do sometimes still have nightmares of the events that unfolded, because it was bad-bad, the fire came up from the first floor neighbor and straight up into my room, if I had been in my room another minute or two longer I would had become trapped, when I woke up since my roommate was pounding on my door ( I kept it locked so nobody would bother me ), my hard wood floors were glowing red and my room was filled with smoke, got out nearly just in time. It's been nearly three years since the incident, how it happened was retarded too - downstairs neighbor left a candle near her tapestry she had on the wall and then she went to take a shower, and her bedroom was directly beneath mine, and this happened at around midnight when I was fast asleep.

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House fires often are caused by some form of carelessness

Doll said:

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Picture of just how large the fire got, the entire complex became engulfed.

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Glad to see you came out unscathed that's quite a an apartment fire.

kiwifails said:

House fires often are caused by some form of carelessness


Glad to see you came out unscathed that's quite a an apartment fire.

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Thanks for that.

Yeah, I completely blanked out during it, everyone who came by and friends said I was just acting really casual and joking around the entire time but I can barely remember what went on that night probably from the complete shock I was in, I just remember friends in the area rushing over and helping me with spare clothes and money and other things I needed. I'm all good now, but I think it's pretty fair that something like that would explain why I'm a bit of an introvert nowadays. Had to deal with unhinged people too at the time who trolled me about it, but that's just how the internet be lmao.

Doll said:

Thanks for that.

Yeah, I completely blanked out during it, everyone who came by and friends said I was just acting really casual and joking around the entire time but I can barely remember what went on that night probably from the complete shock I was in, I just remember friends in the area rushing over and helping me with spare clothes and money and other things I needed. I'm all good now,

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Trauma in shock can manifest itself like this. It's good to know that you were able to overcome any kind of prolonged trauma for me.

Doll said:

but I think it's pretty fair that something like that would explain why I'm a bit of an introvert nowadays

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You seem outgoing to me

Doll said:

. Had to deal with unhinged people too at the time who trolled me about it, but that's just how the internet be lmao.

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To be fair, you do invite some of it, you have a flare for attractive drama.

kiwifails said:

Trauma in shock can manifest itself like this. It's good to know that you were able to overcome any kind of prolonged trauma for me.

You seem outgoing to me

To be fair, you do invite some of it, you have a flare for attractive drama.

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I'm outgoing enough, I guess, just don't usually go outside the boundaries of text, and don't really look to go outside in real life or do much these days besides sit behind my monitor, which I don't know why there's people who have judged me for that in the past, never understood why people care what some person on the internet does or doesn't do in their real life since it wouldn't effect them either way, like me becoming social or getting a job would change their own life in any way.

I'll admit it though, I for sure have a flare for the drama, it's just as fun for me as it is for everyone else, but I'm usually better at it then others are and like to show that off in my own way, no denying it. ˚.༘⋆ We're all here for some pass time though, I'm sure to a lot of people I probably rub off as unhinged myself. I just don't go out of my way to hurt others in the process, my key difference. Never saw the point in targeting smaller fish that pose no harm.

Doll said:

I'm outgoing enough, I guess, just don't usually go outside the boundaries of text, and don't really look to go outside in real life or do much these days besides sit behind my monitor,

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I try to get out as much as possible and go to concerts, movies, local events, museums, and restaurants. Life is amazing, and I'd hate to waste it.

Doll said:

which I don't know why there's people who have judged me for that in the past, never understood why people care what some person on the internet does or doesn't do in their real life since it wouldn't effect them either way, like me becoming social or getting a job would change their own life in any way.

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this might help explain it

Doll said:

I'll admit it though, I for sure have a flare for the drama, it's just as fun for me as it is for everyone else, but I'm usually better at it then others are and like to show that off in my own way,

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Phrasing*

Doll said:

no denying it. ˚.༘⋆ We're all here for some pass time though, I'm sure to a lot of people I probably rub off as unhinged myself. I just don't go out of my way to hurt others in the process, my key difference. Never saw the point in targeting smaller fish that pose no harm.

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That's true as long as you're not here to cause harm to others. We've had a few rotten onions that don't think this way though.

kiwifails said:

this might help explain it

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Sort of explains it, even in this case though I've never understood why people care if a woman gets spoiled or her aesthetic choices and what other people decide to do for her ( if that's the point being made ) like Belle Delphine for instance, her becoming rich and being given whatever she wants because of how she looks doesn't negatively affect anybody besides the men who pour their wallets out and go broke doing it, which really, who cares, if that's what they choose to do with their cash lmao. I've been spoiled on a much smaller scale by "followers" of mine, but people have made it a point to whine and complain that I didn't "earn" my "stuffed animals and manga books" because they were gifted to me, but at the end of the day who really cares.

kiwifails said:

Phrasing*

That's true as long as you're not here to cause harm to others. We've had a few rotten onions that don't think this way though.

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Yeah I don't get into targeting individuals, shit posting is fine and all but I think it's a pretty scummy thing to pick a random target that's very clearly not a threat and then go after them for no reason. I shit post, but to cause harm to others for the sadistic pleasure of it has always been pretty weird to me since there's better ways to spend that time, not sure why people feel the need to shoot fish in a bucket, it's just lame behavior.

Doll said:

Sort of explains it, even in this case though I've never understood why people care if a woman gets spoiled or her aesthetic choices and what other people decide to do for her ( if that's the point being made ) like Belle Delphine for instance, her becoming rich and being given whatever she wants because of how she looks doesn't negatively affect anybody besides the men who pour their wallets out and go broke doing it, which really, who cares,

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I've always found it puzzling why some guys get so worked up about women like Belle Delphine making a living off their looks. If a woman is smart enough to capitalize on her appearance and build a brand around it, more power to her. It's not like she's hurting anyone - in fact, she's just giving guys what they're willing to pay for.

The Dudes who are throwing their money at her are making a conscious choice to do so. They're not being forced into it, that's on them. It's not like she's scamming them or anything - they're just getting caught up in the fantasy she's created.

I think what bothers some people is that it challenges traditional notions of what women should be valued for. But the truth is, women have been using their looks to get ahead for centuries - it's just that now, with social media, it's more out in the open. And if a woman can use her looks to build a business and make a good living, why should we be mad at her for it.

Doll said:

if that's what they choose to do with their cash lmao. I've been spoiled on a much smaller scale by "followers" of mine, but people have made it a point to whine and complain that I didn't "earn" my "stuffed animals and manga books" because they were gifted to me, but at the end of the day who really cares.

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Now I want to see your stuffy collection

Doll said:

Yeah I don't get into targeting individuals, shit posting is fine and all but I think it's a pretty scummy thing to pick a random target that's very clearly not a threat and then go after them for no reason. I shit post, but to cause harm to others for the sadistic pleasure of it has always been pretty weird to me since there's better ways to spend that time, not sure why people feel the need to shoot fish in a bucket, it's just lame behavior.

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I think there's just a real sadistic streak in people nowadays. I was reading up about the two high School shooters we had recently. Apparently they were groomed into doing it online. Absolutely sickening

kiwifails said:

I've always found it puzzling why some guys get so worked up about women like Belle Delphine making a living off their looks. If a woman is smart enough to capitalize on her appearance and build a brand around it, more power to her. It's not like she's hurting anyone - in fact, she's just giving guys what they're willing to pay for.

The Dudes who are throwing their money at her are making a conscious choice to do so. They're not being forced into it, that's on them. It's not like she's scamming them or anything - they're just getting caught up in the fantasy she's created.

I think what bothers some people is that it challenges traditional notions of what women should be valued for. But the truth is, women have been using their looks to get ahead for centuries - it's just that now, with social media, it's more out in the open. And if a woman can use her looks to build a business and make a good living, why should we be mad at her for it.

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Yeah, the only people I see being mad about it, at least from my own experience with my niche following are those who are jealous, or those who want to have sex with me but can't, it's never any other reason since the same guys who will rag on me for getting free things from strangers online will also rant about wanting to stick their cock in me while trying to degrade me about how "I have it easy" which just leads me to believe they aren't happy with their own life and have these obsessions that they are owed something - and get angry that things don't go their way or they don't get what they want. It's kind of like the Kaine individual we meme on where he's always obsessed over the material things I own and will constantly bring up the things I own or the restaurants I go to, saying that if I'm not working for it myself, or giving up my virginity, then I'm a "leech", which has always just been funny to me because implying somebody is a leech when they just happen to have a supportive following is retarded, if people have money to toss around and want to make somebody else happy, who is it harming? I'm the same way with my own money and toss it on Internet friends of mine because being giving is pretty cool, nobody gets hurt and it's probably not something anyone should see as detrimental to their own way of living even if they don't agree with people having it easy, it's especially not a reason to attack a woman over unless you're just an unhinged piece of shit.

kiwifails said:

Now I want to see your stuffy collection

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I have, so many. The most recent stuffy is a Saya fumo from the visual novel "Saya No Uta."
I bought it for 80 bucks, but it's now worth several hundred which I figured would happen when it was up for pre-order, I love collecting rare things from pieces of media that I love.


She stays in her confinement since she is worth well over five hundred dollars now.

kiwifails said:

I think there's just a real sadistic streak in people nowadays. I was reading up about the two high School shooters we had recently. Apparently they were groomed into doing it online. Absolutely sickening

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I feel like when people are sadistic on the internet towards people like me in particular it doesn't come from a place of hate but rather it's more up there with "I'm going to bully and torment this girl because I actually really like her and want her to think I'm cool and want her to notice me." Which, sure, that's one why of grabbing the attention of a woman online but when you're relentless about it, it gets boring really fast.

People grooming other people into doing heinous and terrible things like what you mentioned though, irredeemable and vile, people like that I'd say are more psychopathic than sadistic.

Doll said:

Yeah, the only people I see being mad about it, at least from my own experience with my niche following are those who are jealous, or those who want to have sex with me but can't, it's never any other reason since the same guys who will rag on me for getting free things from strangers online will also rant about wanting to stick their cock in me while trying to degrade me about how "I have it easy" which just leads me to believe they aren't happy with their own life and have these obsessions that they are owed something - and get angry that things don't go their way or they don't get what they want. It's kind of like the Kaine individual we meme on where he's always obsessed over the material things I own and will constantly bring up the things I own or the restaurants I go to, saying that if I'm not working for it myself, or giving up my virginity, then I'm a "leech", which has always just been funny to me because implying somebody is a leech when they just happen to have a supportive following is retarded, if people have money to toss around and want to make somebody else happy, who is it harming? I'm the same way with my own money and toss it on Internet friends of mine because being giving is pretty cool, nobody gets hurt and it's probably not something anyone should see as detrimental to their own way of living even if they don't agree with people having it easy, it's especially not a reason to attack a woman over unless you're just an unhinged piece of shit.


I have, so many. The most recent stuffy is a Saya fumo from the visual novel "Saya No Uta."
I bought it for 80 bucks, but it's now worth several hundred which I figured would happen when it was up for pre-order, I love collecting rare things from pieces of media that I love.

View attachment 82970
She stays in her confinement since she is worth well over five hundred dollars now.

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She's a cutie. I collect video games and other rare media myself, including rare, out-of-print books that are considered too controversial for today's market.

Doll said:

I feel like when people are sadistic on the internet towards people like me in particular it doesn't come from a place of hate but rather it's more up there with "I'm going to bully and torment this girl because I actually really like her and want her to think I'm cool and want her to notice me.

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That would be the Calvin method to get little Susie to notice him. Just don't underestimate what people do when they're consumed with misery.

Doll said:

Which, sure, that's one why of grabbing the attention of a woman online but when you're relentless about it, it gets boring really fast.

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I think people do it to get a sense of power because they themselves lack any of it in their own lives.
They're losers and they have nothing else.

Doll said:

People grooming other people into doing heinous and terrible things like what you mentioned though, irredeemable and vile, people like that I'd say are more psychopathic than sadistic.

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These people are empty husks. They are dead from the inside out, and they spread death and misery everywhere they go.